6-Pack Abs

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Grisha, my ex used to say that exercising and doing crunches and weights was very important for him. He said that it strangely, would bulk him up, but if he just ate heaps and didnt exercise he would lose weight. It was sort of like his metabolism was backwards, being sedentary and eating lots had the opposite effect on him than most people.

No, it doesn't mean it has to be like that. I know plenty of guys who aren't great looking but they date attractive women.

The opposite is also true. There are plain looking women dating attractive men.

People say my husband is better looking than I am. So there you go.

Well, that's the exception, not the rule. I mean, yeah, it's not impossible, you're right. However, I just see lots of ugly guys go "why don't hot girls wanna date me?! !" when they're ugly, and then ugly girls doing the same thing. I figure it's just respectful to look good if you expect your partner to look good, too.

To be honest, ignoring people just because they aren't "good looking" is just plain mean.

Now I admit, I could never be with someone I don't find attractive. But it doesn't mean he has to be "hot", or that others should agree he's attractive. I like beautiful hair and as long as he has great hair I don't care much about the rest of the physical appearance. Oh, maybe eyes: I've always been attracted to men with dark, slightly slanted (in lack of a better word) eyes.

Other stuff, such as being tall, etc. is not as important.

So I guess it's more down to personal preferences than to what's seen as hot. There are plenty of men who are seen as attractive that I don't like (Brad Pitt? ) And many who are seen as ugly but I think they're good looking.

If having a six pack was the key to getting women I would probably have an advantage over most.

Well, obviously, six pack isn't the key to getting women. But like we learned in this thread, it can do wonders for a guy's confidence. And most of the women are attracted to confident men. (As long as they aren't egoistical and pushy).

sadly what confidence i had was destroyed by women long time ago.

Well, you need to build a new one, at least a bit of it. I don't mean on working out if it's not your thing, but hating yourself is never productive and is rarely a good activity to engage yourself into.

Plus - and please don't get this the wrong way - you're only 20. "Destroyed long time ago"? I won't say "you're a baby" since you're only 10 years younger than me, but... You're young and teen years are the worst for building your confidence and dating. Not worst in a way teens shouldn't do it, but the combination of hormones and weird rules for socialization leave many people miserable.

ive been picked on, bullyed and ridiculed ever since preschool. If I ever had any confidence it has been destroyed long ago.

Hey, I know what is like. (Been picked on, bullied, ridiculed by girls and boys as well physically harmed by both). And yes, those things effectively destroyed my confidence. So it's not like I don't understand. But the goal is to find something you're good at and start from there.

I know it's difficult, maybe even impossible. I'm still so insecure and my confidence is almost zero, but the trick is not to think about what others might think about you all the time. It helps me relax at least a bit.

theres no relaxing from it. the damage has been done

Silliness.

I know. But it doesn't mean you should give up. You must start from scratch. It's not easy, but it's not impossible.

You cant just pretend that all the human interaction youve had didnt exist.

Yes you can.

you maybe, not me.