Picky and alone.

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Me? Incorrigible? Didn't I just create a list of things I will try based on all the advice?

Gimme a chance, I don't have any dates lined up yet

In my opinion it should never go to a second date if you weren't definitely interested

There's things I want to say here but I don't want to offend you

Well yes, I have always shared your opinion, because the second date is usually even worse than the first. But I'm not sure that strategy is working for me so I'm trying to be more flexible with my perspective.

You won't offend me, but if it's a bit more personal maybe send me a PM?

I can't put it into words

There's just a general feeling I have that yourself and a lot of people evidently don't make a connection with a person like I do

It's like in a room full of people most would like you but not me, so you have more general appeal than me, but if I meet the type of person I do click with, which is infrequently, it's a strong connection and I know it more or less straight away. By the very fact you have more generic appeal to a wider range of people, you have less ability to make a specific connection with one person.

If that makes sense?

I think it must be because I attract people, more from personality than looks and personality is by definition more unique.

Also, I've noticed you seem to be laid back and not very hard line about things ie you don't seem to get angry, intense or passionate about things, hence your connection to people is likely to be similar. These are all good traits to have by the way.

well short of beating you with a club over your head and then dragging you to a man cave. I'm not sure how you will feel anything. I don't get how one can be attracted and then suddenly lose interest with so many guys. With the classic kissing video, I was trying to show the unexpected kissing thing, the unexpected, but appropriate touching. Things that will trigger some serotonin release, but you seem to make up your mind before these things can happen and would make you feel uncomfortable... and make the guy do things inappropriately.

Maybe I'm getting too personal here, sorry if I'm messing in your comfort zone.

would be interesting to read about your next dates when following your new list.

Online dating has been my preferred avenue for meeting people because I rarely meet people in "real life". I would say in a room full of people, not that many would be interested in me. But I don't really know, all I know is I am rarely approached by men and never by women. Actually I think the way I look physically probably attracts the wrong kind of person, because I don't look at all like how I feel inside (i.e. body doesn't match brain).

I have had this connection you speak of only once in my life. I originally met this person on an online forum. I've been attracted to other people but never in the same way, never that connection of the minds. I'd really like to find it again. I do fear though that I'm just looking for someone who is like my ex, rather than someone who is amazing in a different way that also works for me. It took me til I was 27 to meet this guy, though, so the issue was there before him as well.

Your last comment is definitely true. I don't hold convictions and don't get passionate about things. It probably comes across to others that I'm not particularly interested in getting to know them and that might hold me back from meeting people in real-life scenarios.

Okay, I see how this is coming across. I don't get all attracted then lose the attraction. I'm attracted to the person as they are online, because I haven't met them in real life yet. Then when I meet them in person, I don't feel a spark. I don't feel like seeing them again, even though most of the time they were nice, good people. If I go on a second date it's because I've thought I should make the effort to see how it goes, not because I'm still interested. (Apart from the odd occasion when I am interested and we end up in a relationship.)

If you want to read about my next date who I met in the real world rather than online, you might have to wait a while. Like, maybe a year or two. Meeting people in the big bad world is not my forte. But I'm gonna try.

I was referring to being passionate/intense in terms of it being an indicator that I know my own mind; I have clear-cut ideas about what attracts me; what I find sexy. I sense you are less clear-cut in your preferences. Do you like women as well as men? (you seem to have referred to women as well as men). Even in that instance - it demonstrates (to me) uncertainty about what exactly you are really attracted to. Have you been out with or had a relationship with a woman? I only ask because some of your previous posts have referenced women as if you see them as potential partners.

I date men and women, because I'm looking for a like-minded partner, not a particular sex or gender. I am actually pretty sure about what I want, and what attracts me, which is all part of my pickiness.

But I wouldn't say there are characteristics that I'm "passionate about" in a partner. I'm just not that sort of person.

Interesting. I wouldn't be able to have even a friendship with 99% of women as I just don't seem to get on with them.

I get obsessed with a person if I click with them - they rule my thoughts!

I'd say just keep looking and you'll meet someone eventually

By the law of averages that will happen if you put yourself in social situations on a regular basis.

What is your social life like generally? Do you meet up with a mixed group of friends regularly?

I'm the same with women as friends. I struggle to make them. The women I date are more masculine-minded, in general.

My social life is pretty aspie-standard I think. Until very recently I haven't had any kind of "group" of friends to hang out with, and I don't go out to socialise that often. I'm making more of an effort this year though, so far so good

Watch for Part II: Picky and Partnered. Coming in 2013.
You will all be in the credits, in the "special thanks" section.

Lol

The very fact you're so focused on it, like a project means you'll have success

Give us regular updates so we can hear how you're getting on

Oh and one more thing - I recommend the book 'The Secret'

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Secret-Rhon ... 1847370292

Random thought: sometimes being picky is a way to keep from having a relationship. Your mind says you want one, but other parts of you know that you don't really. Which may be a temporary situation due to things you need to accomplish in the short term, or something more long term.

It is how I feel about my single years, that I subconsciously created my own barriers to finding the right person.

Yes, I am now married; it is almost like my subconscious decided it was the right time. And, well, maybe I finally met the right guy.

The funny thing is, when you meet the right person at the right time, so many things that were deal breakers in the past you somehow manage to overlook.

I like that you are thinking about your own reactions, and staying open to the idea of dating. All you can do is put yourself out there. After that, life has to go the way it is going to go.

What you are describing sounds like the classic "wrong planet syndrome." My guess is that you really aren't all that picky, rather you are expecting the warm and fuzzy chemistry thing to occur. However, your artistic characteristics prevent that sort of communication. I have the same problem. A lot of people meet me and like me, but that something special is missing. If I can get a woman to go out with me on a few dates, so she has a chance to get to know me, then there is a fairly high probability of some success. However, many women decide I'm not the right guy within seconds or minutes of meeting me. I don't think that's necessarily bad. Let's face the truth, chemistry can be very deceiving. How many times have you known people who fell in love, got married, made babies, and then actually learned about each other resulting in an end to their relationship. When I meet a girl I try to immediately find some common interests and common values and leverage those to start the relationship. You may want to experimentally pick a number of dates you have before you flush someone. Think about this, when you meet someone who is not an intended romantic interest, how long before you decide whether you like them or not? If it happens to be 10 encounters, then maybe you should try 10 dates before you make a decision on any particular guy. Good luck.

In high school. girls would assault me every day and ask me to go out with them or be their friend. I hated them because they didn't respect my personal space, nor were they ignorant of society. My girlfriend is somewhat modern, but I think I can live with that because I'll take whom I can get.

No, but I'm extremely picky. I don't think I'll try to back out of my relationship now.

you date women too. wow you got huge group people to choose from. If guys become jerks, you just after women.
and are you open about being ''bisexual'' or dating women, trust me alot of guys (in america) love bisexual women.
if your a woman and you tell guys you are ''bi'' or date women, guys will be fling toward you. but be warn. some guys may expect a three way.