men who won't date fat women

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One of my guy friends was complaining about that happening to him all the time. I don't understand why some women do that. It's ridiculous.

Somebody else said this to me just now, but I agree with him (won't say who it is) and, like him, can foresee a bunch of angry responses along the lines of "you're not entitled to get dates" and yada yada yada. That's what these threads devolve into. It's not about entitlement. It's simply wondering why life can be so jacked up for some people. Every good person deserves love but not all of them get it. It makes absolutely no sense.

Maybe the sight of a grown man crying is too much for them to handle.

You're missing what I'm saying entirely. This is what I'm talking about. You don't seem to see other people as anything but props in your life, like you don't even realize all of these people you blame have their own lives and can't be held responsible for your happiness.

And as for "putting thoughts that just aren't there" guess what dude, I didn't bring up sexism or misogyny, or women and men and how that all works.

And what about a member whose name starts with a T? Oh, was that an example of passive aggressive behavior? Vaguely shittalking a member without doing it directly?

Your own behavior is much like what you've complained about. Everyone else is an as*hole, everyone else is unfair to you, everyone else is a white knight, everyone else is blind to the truth etc.

Guess what, everyone else isn't responsible for how you feel and what direction your life goes in.

I live in tennessee, women aren't blunt here.

I wouldn't cry, I would appreciate honesty. As a man I have to put myself out there and risk rejection if I want to get a girlfriend, I wish women respected that and would treat me with respect.

From my limited travel around to various states, I think most of my problems come from living in perhaps the most anti-social and generally miserable state in the Union. I plan to leave in about a year. But I think I'm learning to adapt by being anti-social and miserable like the people around me. I don't know if that's a good thing, but I might be becoming "normal" now by being anti-social and miserable. Heh.

conneticut is an anti-social state? haha I didn't know that.

Oh there are most definitely leagues, not just people. You can dislike leagues as much as you want, but when you try to say that there is no such thing, you’re only setting yourself (and naïve people who might wishfully hope you’re correct) up for disappointment. Denying it is something people need to leave behind in their childhood along with any other notion that life is gonna be like a Disney movie. I began to understand this in elementary school and got in completely by junior high age. All adults know this, they just need to be honest with themselves and not deny reality.
There are people no-one will ever be attracted to based on their looks. There might a few people who could become interested in them upon getting to know them well if they have some very endearing personality traits, but they will do so in spite of the person’s looks and would have to be able to live with the judgment from people around them.
And not only are there leagues; people will even presume people are nice or bad/boring based on looks. That’s why people will say things like “he’s nice but way overweight”, “she lacks in the personality compartment but she has a kind heart” or “she’s beautiful but cruel”.

There are leagues. Lots of them too. The most obvious leagues are based on physical appearance; the shape of your body (fat/slim, tall/short, symmetry). If you’re fat, you’re in the lower league. If you’re ugly, you’re in the lower league. If you’re asymmetrical, scarred or have birth defects, you’re lower league. Men tend to put themselves in a higher league than they are and like to date women who are higher league than they are themselves, because that is a mark of pride, of having bagged a good one, something their mates will envy them. Women typically see themselves as uglier than they are and will go for lower quality guys (and sometimes just a fat wallet).
http://www.livescience.com/7483-beautif ... e-men.html
These leagues aren’t even limited to the dating world. Surveys show that men who are tall and good looking will have better jobs and be paid more. I assume it’s even worse for women. If you’re ugly, you have less value in the eyes of everyone. I honestly think it’s time ugly is recognized as a disability, because it puts you at such a disadvantage it qualifies.
http://www.kiplinger.com/article/busine ... eople.html
http://business.time.com/2011/03/30/why ... -get-rich/
I roll my eyes when someone say “think how boring it would be if everyone were beautiful”. No, it’d only be boring for those who already are in a high league because they would fail to be special and perceived as better. For everyone else it would mean the end of discrimination and lower wages.

Other things that will make you lower quality is being socially awkward, nerdy, unpopular, living in the wrong place, wearing the wrong clothes. The list goes on and on. Then there are the leagues based on your situation, going things like profession, employment or lack thereof, class and standing (no, a director will not date a janitor).

And no, no-one is attracted to lower quality people. It won’t even help you if you’re good-looking if you’re not up to the other league standards. And there are definitely people no-one in their right mind could ever become attracted to. And there’s no reason to get upset over me calling a spade a spade. I’m a bottom feeder myself. I’m as low quality girl as it gets. I have all the possible strikes against me. Unfortunately, despite my birth defect, I don’t feel ugly, so I become infatuated with people I find attractive, people who are waaay out of my league, people who would see going out with me as something out of a nightmare. I should just fall for bottom feeders like myself but like everyone else, I am attracted to what is good looking in my eyes. No surprise there. Everybody prefers to look at a face they find good-looking. There has been research showing that even babies will be more interested in a beautiful face than a more ugly one. Fortunately, I know the score, so I don’t set myself up for a fall or ridicule.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn6 ... faces.html

Why? Why don't people see beneath my indigo bean shaped exterior?! *shakes fist*

Not having a preference towards me for liking blue IS a pure preference, just like some may prefer green eyes or strawberry blonde hair. I have neither green eyes or blonde hair but I don't take offense if someone doesn't like me for not possessing those qualities (I'd see them as a bit picky though). I don't have any preferences looks wise at all. My preferences are based on who people are underneath (sad state when most guys I've met even fall short on that).

The guy on OKC wasn't expressing his preferences, he was being a sizeist jerk. Didn't need to be overweight to take offense at that. He had some other stellar things in his profile too.

Liking blue and being overweight can't be compared. The former is just a preference and the latter is held in almost universal contempt. Preferring overweight women is even considered an against the norm fetish.

ETA: just as long as the guy didn't try to make me feel inferior for not having green eyes and blonde hair.

The problem I'm seeing is that people state their preferences as if they're absolutes. ie. "overweight women are unattractive" instead of "I'm personally not attracted to overweight women". Making people feel ugly just for falling outside your preferences isn't ok.

"I prefer slender women" sounds like a lot nicer way of stating your preferences than "I don't date fat women" does it not? The first one sounds a lot less exclusionary.

Most guys on dating sites word their preferences a good way by saying they "would like a girl who likes to keep fit healthy and active", not by saying "no fat chicks please". Maybe coming across as health conscious yourself would help attract women who lean towards your preference.

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Last edited by MR_BOGAN on 11 Jun 2013, 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ok, then the woman has chosen to be they way she want to be. And? A men can drive to japan as well, let is legs being broken and get 15 cm higher, so according to you he chooses not to be as media tells him that he has to be. If a woman refuses to be a social slave, then people have a right to ignore her as potential partner and dont have to feel bad about that, but if a men chooses that he dont care for fashion and media, people are not allowed to do so?

Can it be that you got your knowlege about hypocrisy from the mirror? ^^

Can anyone really drive to Japan?

Yeah I agree, it's a good way to put it. It's good to try and respect other people.