How to use OKCupid (from an actual success story.)

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Very very true. This is probably why most relationships fail. Hell knows i'm still trying to work on it.

yah. I have an emotional maturity of a teenage squirrel. Having issues processing emotions is what qualifies one for the spectrum, after all. How does an AS acquire emotional maturity??

What exactly is emotional maturity?

Everyone defines it differently and I really don't think it's just an AS thing. I think everyone regardless of neurology has issue sometimes.

For me, it was really about being able to let things go and be understanding and accomidating of others while also accepting and understanding of my own limitations. And it needs to go both ways in a relationship.

Ever watch 'secretary'? OK, go beyond the kinky stuff if you will...Now, most people wouldn't see that as an 'ideal' relationship, but it works. And that's the point. There's no exact formulas.

Something an old and wise person told me once:

A relationship is based on:
1 Mutual respect
2 Mutual like
3 There is no 3, you wally
4 Something for both parties to get out of it.

I'll let you guess what the most important thing is.

If you have 3 out of 3, great. If you have 2, well, it can work. One is a big problem. Zero bigger still. Minus one is impossible. Munus two is stop already. Minus three is, quit, enough.

The above is a only a model, just like fair Camelot was, and should be treated as such.

Haha, wasn't there a song about that by Wheatus. 'I'm just a teenage squirrel, baby, I'll rip out your nuts and hide them, maybe"

Maybe you just don't like people 'enough' to put up with the inevitable crap, I dunno.

When it comes to other people then him, I can enjoy other people company, as far as they have similar interests that we can talk about, but comfortable social contact means for me meeting others maximum 1-2 times a week in groups of maximum 5 people, and spending the rest of the week on my own. While when it comes to my partner, he simply gives me other vibes. I dont need to cope for him all the time or act normal, I dont need to care for my behavement all the time (not in the meaning of being rude, but the typical autistic stuff like mentally fading out, need for order, ...). Its a silly comparison, but him being at home is not more bugging me then my cats being at home. It doesnt stress me, but comforts me. As well that he is more extrovert then me, but still a bit introverted compared to NTs, so he can as well spend some time with his own interests or an computer game, and also doesnt have the need to do absolutely everything as a couple all the time, so with visiting his friends alone, he feels just fine.

Being with him, simply feels fine to me. It was in my beginning 30ies that I was questioning about now spending the rest of my life with him or not, and there were tons of stuff going through my mind, but when I threw all that doubts away and simply reduced it and asked myself if I was happy, when being with him (most of the time ^^), this was the important stuff to know. Sure they are minor things, keeping him from being a dreamprince, but spending your life with someone whose presence you enjoy, is simply worth more then every dreamprince could give you.

No, I've never turned down any woman for being overweight on OKCupid. In fact, I don't mind if they're a little bit overweight and there are actually very few women who are so overweight that I wouldn't find them attractive in any way, at least in my experience. What made you think that were any women who I've turned down because of that? The main reasons why I would of turned down women was either because they lived too far away from me, were single mothers or too religious (though I don't mind liberal christians) but being overweight was not one. In fact, the vast majority of women who had messaged me first, after looking at my profile, I had not rejected and I usually continued to chat with them until, for whatever reason, they stopped messaging me.



My profile's here:

profile

(being carful not to put the url in the linked text because I don't want my OKCupid username linked to this via google searches).

Also, I can't access my profile at the moment, so if there are any suggestions, then I'll change it when I can.

It's far from enough by itself, plus my humor is dark and antisocial.

There are no antisocial girls in Lebanon that enjoy dark humor from intelectual men? How do you know this?

@ Schneekugel I am jealous! I dream of meeting someone who I could feel that relaxed around. They don't even have to be a partner, friendship would do. Mostly I find myself feeling utterly uncomfortable almost all the time, the more 'consciousnesses' around, the more uncomfortable I feel.

There were two times in my life when I felt really something approaching true comfort - in a middle of African wilderness and up in the air in a two seater plane. Both times it was the presence of the other person that ruined the perfection.

Can it happen for me? Is it really possible?

Those surely have joined some local terrorist group.

Joke with them if you can.

Let me reframe the question. When you went on these OKC dates with these girls, did they know they were going on a date with a darkly humerous athiest intellectual?

You could change your profile name to Hez-baller , do a gangster pose and put your tagline as "I have an explosive personality. Meeting me is a once in a lifetime experience."

Do this ^^^

TUNE IN TO NEXT WEEK'S EXCITING EPISODE TO FIND OUT!

I think it could be - it depends what you tune into, and not tune into. You can also pick up on someone's calm and send it back to them again. If they do the same, guess what happens - a rather peaceful loop. And then you can anchor it to each other, so even the thought of that person could induce calm.

But it really helps if you can feel strong calm in yourself, and make this more powerful than any external you might pick up on.