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So my GF cheated on me

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lost561
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29 Nov 2013, 8:00 pm

Pabbicus wrote:
What exactly is it that makes this upsetting?


Name one reason why you shouldn't be banned for life.



Kjas
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29 Nov 2013, 8:09 pm

Shau wrote:
Shatbat wrote:
Well Shau, do what you must. It is possible to keep seeing people as a friend after such things happen, and those friendships can still be valuable. And once one takes the decision of not hit in another person, future interactions with them become more straightforward and without so much doubts. If you think such a friendship would fill you instead of draining you, go for it.


At this point "being friends" is more akin to "managing to not hate each other afterwards".


Mate, do yourself a massive favour and cut contact. You need time to heal. No friendship is going to be possible right now and deep down you know that, so don't try to pretend and just do what's best for you. You don't need anyone's approval, least of all hers.


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Pabbicus
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29 Nov 2013, 8:28 pm

lost561 wrote:
Pabbicus wrote:
What exactly is it that makes this upsetting?


Name one reason why you shouldn't be banned for life.

Moderation would have to be terrible to ban someone for asking a question. What is it specifically that makes "cheating" something to mention, let alone be hurt by? I'd just like to know.



Shatbat
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29 Nov 2013, 8:47 pm

I agree with Kjas. If it is a matter of "we'll tolerate each other" then it's better to just be done with it. It is not a good idea to have people in your life who you "try not to get at their throat", if you don't truly and genuinely think spending time with her is good, and things are going to be this strained, then I'd have to ask why would you bother to maintain contact.

Also Pabbicus, cheating means breaking the trust that has been put on someone else. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, to the point that if there is no trust then there should be no relationship.


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Kezzstar
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29 Nov 2013, 8:51 pm

I still reckon a boys night in with lots of shooting games, ice cream and Fast and Furious movies is the way to go.


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Shau
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30 Nov 2013, 2:27 am

Kjas wrote:
Mate, do yourself a massive favour and cut contact. You need time to heal. No friendship is going to be possible right now and deep down you know that, so don't try to pretend and just do what's best for you. You don't need anyone's approval, least of all hers.


More or less what the current situation is like, hence quotes around "friends".



woodster
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30 Nov 2013, 3:44 am

Kjas wrote:
Shau wrote:
Shatbat wrote:
Well Shau, do what you must. It is possible to keep seeing people as a friend after such things happen, and those friendships can still be valuable. And once one takes the decision of not hit in another person, future interactions with them become more straightforward and without so much doubts. If you think such a friendship would fill you instead of draining you, go for it.


At this point "being friends" is more akin to "managing to not hate each other afterwards".


Mate, do yourself a massive favour and cut contact. You need time to heal. No friendship is going to be possible right now and deep down you know that, so don't try to pretend and just do what's best for you. You don't need anyone's approval, least of all hers.



yeah, thats good advice. Nice guys finish last and all that.



Shau
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30 Nov 2013, 3:54 am

Well the thing is she's liable to be around the university I'm at for at least another year in the same department as me, and potentially in one of my social circles. I'd rather things not be tense when we inevitably cross paths. Keeping things cordial is to both of our benefits.



hale_bopp
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03 Dec 2013, 12:18 am

EW, give her the flick, what a stupid bint.

Sorry that happened to you bro.