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She is asking for it

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leafplant
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08 Mar 2014, 7:04 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
My second mistake: I actually intended to convey a question about where men wouldn't kiss each other on the cheek.

Where geographically would men never display their affection for each other with a kiss?


Used to be England, but now all these foreigners have arrived with their annoying continental customs, you find (almost) everyone hugs and cheek kisses socially. I think it still depends on the strata of the society more than on the geographic region. Traditionally working classes and the very top upper classes have stayed away from displays of physical affection. Mwah Mwahs are the middle class provenance.



Marcia
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08 Mar 2014, 8:07 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
My second mistake: I actually intended to convey a question about where men wouldn't kiss each other on the cheek.

Where geographically would men never display their affection for each other with a kiss?


Scotland.



Yuzu
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08 Mar 2014, 9:49 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
My second mistake: I actually intended to convey a question about where men wouldn't kiss each other on the cheek.

Where geographically would men never display their affection for each other with a kiss?


I think it'll be easier to list where they WOULD.
In the US straight men don't do that except with family members.



Eureka13
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08 Mar 2014, 10:43 am

leafplant wrote:
jrjones9933 wrote:
LKL wrote:
do you mean, 'where do women engage in this behavior'?


Sorry, "where" geographically?


evidently not in Texas :lol:

I flirt like a pro when I want to ingratiate myself with someone so that they wouldn't hate me and be horrible to me, it doesn't matter the gender, age, sexual orientation or whatever. It's purely done to flatter their ego so that they will be well disposed to me. Yes, it is completely manipulative but if I could achieve the same effect with simply asking people to not be nasty to me, believe me I would.

On the other hand, I am terrible at flirting with people I actually find attractive. I get all self conscious (I mean what if they do something?! or worse, don't do something!?) and end up going the opposite way. So, couple of years ago I was told by a mutual friend of someone I was heavily crushing on at the time that she has never seen me be that mean to another person before. Whoops. I guess I am like those boys in school that pull girl's pigtails because they like them :oops:

Which is NOT TO SAY that if I am mean to someone that automatically means I am attracted to them. Because some people really ARE stupid enough to think like that.


This is me, too (except the "pro" part - I'm not sure I'm very good at it under any circumstances. :P ). But I'm definitely NOT good at it around men I'm attracted to. The "social, non-sexual" flirting is definitely a learned skill - me being raised in the south possibly gave me more opportunities to learn, although I didn't get even remotely comfortable with it until I was in my late 30s or early 40s. Maybe before I die I will be able to flirt with guys I'm attracted to.....but I'm running out of time to master that skill!



Misslizard
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08 Mar 2014, 11:11 am

When I was a kid I saw Brezhnev kissing other politicians on the cheek on the news.Women here call each other sweetie all the time.The only woman I know that always kissed me on the cheek was a first generation American,her family was from Mexico.She wasn't being flirtatious,I think it was cultural.


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Tim_Tex
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08 Mar 2014, 11:36 am

Misslizard wrote:
When I was a kid I saw Brezhnev kissing other politicians on the cheek on the news.Women here call each other sweetie all the time.The only woman I know that always kissed me on the cheek was a first generation American,her family was from Mexico.She wasn't being flirtatious,I think it was cultural.


I've noticed that as well among Mexican women.


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jrjones9933
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08 Mar 2014, 12:09 pm

So, Leafplant is a tsundere...

I certainly have that side to my personality, as well.



leafplant
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08 Mar 2014, 12:39 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
So, Leafplant is a tsundere...

I certainly have that side to my personality, as well.


Image

^ note, the above is for fun flirting, coz, like I don't even know what the cat looks like :P

Edit: aww, it won't let me display the image..it's so cute too

@ Eureka13

don't be despondent! You found your ideal man being just the way you are, so while you may not be as lucky twice, you may still find someone good enough carrying on just as you are



Eureka13
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08 Mar 2014, 11:54 pm

^^

Good point! And "being exactly the way I am" is a helluva lot easier than the alternative! :lol:



Stalk
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11 Mar 2014, 4:34 am

It seems inviting, or open to flirtation to me. If there were people around, I would be nervous and probably do nothing. If it happened to be just me and her, I could slowly build up my courage to approach her. I'm sure by the time I get to her she would already have a fit for me taking so long.



Schneekugel
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11 Mar 2014, 4:45 am

leafplant wrote:
But when you are socially impaired, the problem is two-fold

Part 1 of the problem: recognise when the flirting is
a) aimed at you
b) intended to engage you in a romantic sense

Part 2 of the problem: know how to and employ appropriate response to achieve the desired outcome

And if your brain works like a binary yes/no tree like mine, you just have no hope in hell, like ever, because the actual contact is made on some other plane of existence to which autistic brains have no access as far as I have come to understand


Actually, using my mouth and being totally direct, helped me much in this. Scares 90% of people of, but at least with the 10% rest, you dont need to question yourself all the time, how something is meant and how they feel about your or how you feel about them.