Getting a girlfriend feels like an impossible task

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But the problem is caused not by trying to guilt trip someone who isn't attracted to you into dating but by blaming yourself when no one is attracted to you. Those thoughts that if no one is attracted to you it must mean you're somehow defective or those regrets that it's caused by something you could have prevented if only you'd done it soon enough.

The funny thing is, those thoughts make you feel worthless and undesirable and undeserving and then in a strange irony, someone tells you that you have an entitlement complex. For what?

the answer is in two uniquely amuurican "horatio alger" mantras- "get rich or DIE trying," and "drive on."

Lucky thing I don't live in America. I wouldn't be able to live like that.

I thought only the East-Asians could drive themselves so hard.

I live here and can't live like that either. chances are there that should I stumble and drop all the things I have to juggle that I might end up a vagabond. America's a tough place to live if one is not gifted and/or rich.

Don't think that you're worthless because you haven't found anyone who's attracted to you YET. But moreover, don't base your self-esteem and sense of worth on how other people feel about you or even how they treat you.

Know that there is nothing wrong with being who and what you are and if someone doesn't like you or does not find you attractive, that's their problem. But it's also their right to reject you. So the best thing to do when this happens is to NOT play the blame game, and try as best you can to forget about them. I say another useful strategy is to simply not look for it at all and don't take action until it presents itself directly in front of you.

Asking a question isn't being defensive, brah.

Getting a loyal girlfriend today is harder then it used to be.
"He disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones. It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers-out of unorthodoxy."

- Orwell, 1984

That's NT women for ya! They LURRRRRRRRRRRV charisma and swarm to lit like flies to s**t. It's even sexier than power. Charisma is what makes a so-called "alpha" male a natural born leader and pack builder.

How can I get charisma?

comes with being an alpha male. mebbe try acting classes? some can fake the alpha bit at least for defined periods of time.

For me right now I feel like the only way I could develop a relationship and "get" a girlfriend is through the internet. I have a really hard time with finding social opportunities IRL, and I also think that being together with another aspie would be nice, but that seems like it would be hard to find for sure IRL too. It's kind of depressing because I want to actually be with someone IRL and not just chat with thousands of miles separating me and them. I don't mean sex, just being able to be around someone who you are in a relationship with seems like this really great thing, but that seems so unlikely for the time being. People are saying "go to college and make friends" to other people in this thread, but that also seems like it would be such an overwhelming experience for me...

I hope that I am not crashing in and complaining about myself here...

Yeah, because friends are sooo easy to make. I'm sure having friends could help my chances of finding a girlfriend, but I have next to no luck getting friends either. A girl recently said to me "Making friends is easy!" I wanted to punch her in the face.

You cannot acquire it. You really have to be born with it.It's a type of innate social intelligence.

I think innate things like looks and voice have something to do with it as well. It isn't all just behavioral. I bet if you did a blind test people would be found to judge someone more "charismatic" on looks alone (i.e. of two people with identical behavior, the better looking would be judged as more "charismatic"). People don't even realize what they judge on. People are shallower than they think they are. Even if it was purely behavioral, few have good enough acting skills to perfectly mimic it.

Do people regard better looking people as being more intelligent? More charismatic? Harder working? More responsible? Maybe. But I think there are other factors.

For example, better looking people might be, on average, more charismatic due to factors such as being more confident or having been treated better all their lives.

Better looking people (thinner), might be on average, harder working and more responsible because people who have demonstrated self-discipline and responsibility by maintaining a healthy weight may also be responsible and self-disciplined on the job (or in their studies), not to mention, self-motivated.

If you were interviewing for a job, would you rather hire a fat guy who makes excuses, while he continues his sedentary lifestyle and continues consuming large quantities of sugar, seemingly unaware of the consequences? Or would you rather hire a healthy guy, who eats healthy and goes to the gym.

The most important quality the hypothetical healthy (better looking) guy has demonstrated is self-motivation (no one told him to eat healthy and go to the gym, he did it with his own initiative). You wouldn't want to hire a guy who needs constant prompting to get the job done. Self-motivation is also important for study. The fat guy might not even have enough self-motivation to get the qualification needed for the hypothetical job.

Because eating large quantities of sugar has consequences that should be obvious, yet some people do it regardless, I think there may actually be an inverse correlation between being overweight and being more intelligent.

So maybe if good looking men and women are more successful in life, it's not entirely down to discrimination. Their looks may be indicative of other virtues. I think people know this on a subconscious level (Good looks indicate good health, wouldn't you want to hire an employee who's less likely to get sick? Wouldn't you want a healthy partner?) It's the same principle of why you wouldn't hire a job applicant who shows up in dirty clothing. If he doesn't care enough to put on clean clothes, or if he doesn't care enough to maintain a healthy weight, then perhaps he won't care much about getting the work done.

Hmmmmmm..... I would not go quite that far. I've met lotsa obese folk who could think flaming circles around me.