Almost 29 and I am still the same as I was last year
I don't really have any advice, just that I know what you're going through and how you feel.
It's even worse here in Australia.
It doesn't matter if you live in a small town or big city, a lot of young men here like hunting, fishing, fast cars/utes/big trucks, camping, etc.
I would never hunt an animal for no reason, I'd only kill an animal in self defense (but id try to escape first) or if I was going to eat it. Never tried fishing but I imagine it's boring. I like getting out to nature, mainly walking through forests and beaches, but swimming is too inactive, standing or sitting in the same spot for so long. For me, a car is just to get me somewhere. I can't drive yet anyway but I wouldn't need a car to be fast, just fast enough to get me around. And I don't need a car that can do off-road since I'd almost never go off-road. I dislike camping, very intolerable for me without the comforts of home. It's overrated. Clothes get ruined, all your stuff gets dirty, etc.
Doesn't help this is a very conservative city full of old people. There are more churches here than schools and there's about 20-30 schools. There's a church on every corner.
There's also a lot of nerdy and geeky people here in Australia who like anime, video games, superhero movies, sci-fi, etc.
There's a lot of bro/jock type males who like gym, surfing, football, music festivals, partying and have stylish haircuts like undercuts (google it) and wear tight V-neck t-shirts.
Unfortunately, I don't fall into any of the three types of people I just listed above.
I don't understand why I can't get along with or connect with other people my age either, because my interests really aren't strange and I don't see myself as a weirdo.
I have a very normal and ordinary personality, I don't feel like a weirdo but actually feel too NORMAL for my age, everyone else seems to be too extreme for me in one way or another (too nerdy, too much of a jock, too hippy, too bogan/Australian redneck, too religious, too much of a criminal, etc.)
I like to make electronic music (electronic is popular here, but not the kind that I make), sports and exercise (gym, running, cycling, watching football, hiking, etc.) read books like harry potter, the halo novels, assassins creed books, play adventure open world games like assassins creed, watch movies here and there and animated tv series (not anime, just regular American animation).
I want to get into growing my own organic fruits and vegetables.
I don't keep up with modern movies, tv shows, video games, etc. and actually dislike a lot of modern movies and games.
I do like popular series but I don't keep up with the newest stuff in the series.
I like to discover a new thing at my own pace when I choose to and not when it's brand new.
For example I love the Halo games, but I'm still playing halo 1 and 3 while most people have moved on and only play halo 4, 5 and soon 6.
Just like how I might like the old star wars movies but everyones seen the new one and wants to talk about that one (f*cking hate the new one)
I also don't play video games online. Ever. And it seems everyone else does.
People don't want to make the effort to come to your house anymore, so if you meet someone who plays the same video games as you, instead of asking if they can come over, they'll ask if you play online and ask for your PS4 or Xbox gamer ID but as soon as I tell them I don't play online that basically kills any opportunity of making a new friend with them.
Anyway, I can't meet people at all.
Aside from a bit of volunteering last year, I've done nothing since I graduated high school.
I'm too disabled to work and don't know what I want to study.
I'm too smart for my own good in this regard. A lot of people my age start studying which I think is very stupid for an 18 year old to just jump into university study straight away and so quickly.
Haven't tried any meetup groups yet but you've got to be 18 and I've only been 18 since late last year.
It doesn't help I have Agoraphobia.
I'm not an introvert or shy.
I have trouble connecting with others my age because we almost never share interests and the majority of conversations with them bore me to death, so this is why I don't talk much. I simply choose to be quiet if a conversation doesn't interest me, which is a lot of the time because it feels like everyone is so different to me, even when I still feel like this shouldn't be true because I'm a very normal person. Nothing to do with shyness.
And just because I have agoraphobia, a fear of leaving the house and going places, doesn't mean I don't enjoy going places.
I feel comfortable going out to do stuff with friends, too bad I don't have any real friends to go out and do stuff with.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
I have been told Australia has their own equivalent of rednecks called bogans but I thought they wouldn't be as bad as the rednecks but what Outrider mentioned is just plain scary, especially how he says there are more churches than schools where he is from. It sounds like he lives in an area that is like the Bible Belt.
It's even worse here in Australia.
It doesn't matter if you live in a small town or big city, a lot of young men here like hunting, fishing, fast cars/utes/big trucks, camping, etc.
I would never hunt an animal for no reason, I'd only kill an animal in self defense (but id try to escape first) or if I was going to eat it. Never tried fishing but I imagine it's boring. I like getting out to nature, mainly walking through forests and beaches, but swimming is too inactive, standing or sitting in the same spot for so long. For me, a car is just to get me somewhere. I can't drive yet anyway but I wouldn't need a car to be fast, just fast enough to get me around. And I don't need a car that can do off-road since I'd almost never go off-road. I dislike camping, very intolerable for me without the comforts of home. It's overrated. Clothes get ruined, all your stuff gets dirty, etc.
Doesn't help this is a very conservative city full of old people. There are more churches here than schools and there's about 20-30 schools. There's a church on every corner.
There's also a lot of nerdy and geeky people here in Australia who like anime, video games, superhero movies, sci-fi, etc.
There's a lot of bro/jock type males who like gym, surfing, football, music festivals, partying and have stylish haircuts like undercuts (google it) and wear tight V-neck t-shirts.
Unfortunately, I don't fall into any of the three types of people I just listed above.
I don't understand why I can't get along with or connect with other people my age either, because my interests really aren't strange and I don't see myself as a weirdo.
I have a very normal and ordinary personality, I don't feel like a weirdo but actually feel too NORMAL for my age, everyone else seems to be too extreme for me in one way or another (too nerdy, too much of a jock, too hippy, too bogan/Australian redneck, too religious, too much of a criminal, etc.)
I like to make electronic music (electronic is popular here, but not the kind that I make), sports and exercise (gym, running, cycling, watching football, hiking, etc.) read books like harry potter, the halo novels, assassins creed books, play adventure open world games like assassins creed, watch movies here and there and animated tv series (not anime, just regular American animation).
I want to get into growing my own organic fruits and vegetables.
I don't keep up with modern movies, tv shows, video games, etc. and actually dislike a lot of modern movies and games.
I do like popular series but I don't keep up with the newest stuff in the series.
I like to discover a new thing at my own pace when I choose to and not when it's brand new.
For example I love the Halo games, but I'm still playing halo 1 and 3 while most people have moved on and only play halo 4, 5 and soon 6.
Just like how I might like the old star wars movies but everyones seen the new one and wants to talk about that one (f*cking hate the new one)
I also don't play video games online. Ever. And it seems everyone else does.
People don't want to make the effort to come to your house anymore, so if you meet someone who plays the same video games as you, instead of asking if they can come over, they'll ask if you play online and ask for your PS4 or Xbox gamer ID but as soon as I tell them I don't play online that basically kills any opportunity of making a new friend with them.
Anyway, I can't meet people at all.
Aside from a bit of volunteering last year, I've done nothing since I graduated high school.
I'm too disabled to work and don't know what I want to study.
I'm too smart for my own good in this regard. A lot of people my age start studying which I think is very stupid for an 18 year old to just jump into university study straight away and so quickly.
Haven't tried any meetup groups yet but you've got to be 18 and I've only been 18 since late last year.
It doesn't help I have Agoraphobia.
I'm not an introvert or shy.
I have trouble connecting with others my age because we almost never share interests and the majority of conversations with them bore me to death, so this is why I don't talk much. I simply choose to be quiet if a conversation doesn't interest me, which is a lot of the time because it feels like everyone is so different to me, even when I still feel like this shouldn't be true because I'm a very normal person. Nothing to do with shyness.
And just because I have agoraphobia, a fear of leaving the house and going places, doesn't mean I don't enjoy going places.
I feel comfortable going out to do stuff with friends, too bad I don't have any real friends to go out and do stuff with.
I felt pressured into Uni by society, my parents, and my own foolish pride just as I was starting to develop depression. In hindsight, it was a terrible idea. I needed to get better before I attempted something as serious as Uni. Of course now with an enormous god-damned debt I have no choice but to finish my degree or it'll have been all for nothing, but my mental health is still deteriorating.
Don't rush yourself into University if you're not ready.
You actually remind me of myself in a lot of ways. Don't follow the mainstream culture but don't directly avoid it in an attempt to stand out; you simply happen to be interested in other things. What kind of electronic music do you make? Got any examples? Or at least some random music tunes of a similar style?
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Don't rush yourself into University if you're not ready.
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The days are long, but the years are short
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,088
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Rednecks think college is "fancy book learnin'" and that correlates with liberalism to them. The few that go are tired of being scorched by the sun and realize it's just boring as hell living in a small town or country town. Unfortunately, my father went back to his redneck roots but he was heading back that direction anyway.
I used to hope college would be where I would find my social niche and a girlfriend since so many told me that is where it would happen. It didn't happen at all.
I used to hope college would be where I would find my social niche and a girlfriend since so many told me that is where it would happen. It didn't happen at all.
If you're studying mathematics, IT, or hard sciences you can kiss your chances of finding a girlfriend goodbye since the male:female ratio is absolutely terrible. I don't know why it is that way. Are women being pushed away from those sorts of subjects or are they simply less interested in those subjects in general? And if they are being pushed away, who is doing it and why?
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Which is why my situation is hopeless.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Which is why my situation is hopeless.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Which is why my situation is hopeless.
Don't you have an education and well paying job?
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Which is why my situation is hopeless.
Don't you have an education and well paying job?
Also I don't get paid as much as my cousin, the engineer. Education is important for another reason. That reason is universities have a lot of young women. My cousin met his wife while he was a student.
It still feels hopeless after I screwed things up with the one girl who was willing to be with me. I still think of her. Other girls I've dated seem boring compared to her.
Sure I could move on if I could find a girl as cool and funny as her and if I could find a girl in the first place. That might not happen because I'm still afraid to ask girls out in meatspace and I'm too shy to progress things with the girls I date from dating sites. The fact that I could get with her in the first place is what makes her seem like she was my only chance.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,195
Location: California, United States
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Which is why my situation is hopeless.
Retrogamer, wasn't your only relationship less than a year, I think like 6 months or less?
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Good tip. While education is a very important factor when looking for a partner, it doesn't guarantee that you will find someone. Good pay is another important factor, of course.
Which is why my situation is hopeless.
Retrogamer, wasn't your only relationship less than a year, I think like 6 months or less?
Yep.
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The days are long, but the years are short
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