AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
13 Mar 2018, 10:43 pm
Marknis wrote:
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same? 
You can! You might have to work on yourself though.
I get told that quite often but I honestly don't know how to go about it. What do I do first? And how long do I have to stay in that mode?
What to do first? Well, I can only speak for what worked for me: Cardio. Changed EVERYTHING. Worked on my posture to fix knee pain. Drink lots of water. Weight management gets easy after that.
Personality/conversation: just be a good listener. Engage people on their terms. Build their egos. Ask questions, keep ‘em talking.
Come to think of it, I was watching a film adaptation of Jayne Eyre the other night. There’s this scene where Rochester demands Jayne talk to him. She has zero life experience and he’s traveled the world. She answers a few questions but can’t really talk back much. But the two or three little things she says sparks something in him. So he starts talking about himself, which was all he really wanted in the first place.
People tend not to open up because of trust issues. It takes time to break down those barriers. The more time you spend with people, the easier it gets. I’m awkward in movement and speech but I do eventually get things out of people. Put your time there and you’ll break people down eventually. Repetition, habit, and consistency are the keywords here.
14 Mar 2018, 12:21 am
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
14 Mar 2018, 8:14 am
14 Mar 2018, 10:24 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same?
Maybe because you don't have as high "sexual market value"
It's odd how you and my other detractors keep posting on my threads despite how you claim to be sick of them.
I've never claimed to be sick of your threads, nor am I some 'detractor'. I'm simply answering your question. It's not my fault if you don't like the answer. Better to face reality and make necessary changes than to keep your head down and then wonder why you can't see anything.
The odd thing is that I occasionally get told "You probably have no problem attracting girls." or "I'll bet you have to beat off the girls with a stick." and I can only say "If only that was true."
People lie for the sake of sounding nice. These are things only said by old people or taken women.
1. Don't listen to Boo. He's negativity generator from a culture as macho-centric as the one you're stuck in.
2. For years I heard the same positive things as you (and not just from from old people) but assumed they were just being nice. Then I started paying more attention to my physical condition, got the hell out of small-town Texas, actually started modeling professionally, and realized that they were telling me the truth all along. Soon I had more beautiful girls approaching me than my terrible social skills could handle.
3. Let me re-emphasize: Get the hell out of the small-town Bible Belt. Austin or even Houston would be a big improvement. East or West Coast would be better. Europe or Japan even better. And wherever you go, have some kind of plan to pursue once you get there.
14 Mar 2018, 1:13 pm
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same?
Maybe because you don't have as high "sexual market value"
It's odd how you and my other detractors keep posting on my threads despite how you claim to be sick of them.
I've never claimed to be sick of your threads, nor am I some 'detractor'. I'm simply answering your question. It's not my fault if you don't like the answer. Better to face reality and make necessary changes than to keep your head down and then wonder why you can't see anything.
The odd thing is that I occasionally get told "You probably have no problem attracting girls." or "I'll bet you have to beat off the girls with a stick." and I can only say "If only that was true."
People lie for the sake of sounding nice. These are things only said by old people or taken women.
1. Don't listen to Boo. He's negativity generator from a culture as macho-centric as the one you're stuck in.
2. For years I heard the same positive things as you (and not just from from old people) but assumed they were just being nice. Then I started paying more attention to my physical condition, got the hell out of small-town Texas, actually started modeling professionally, and realized that they were telling me the truth all along. Soon I had more beautiful girls approaching me than my terrible social skills could handle.
3. Let me re-emphasize: Get the hell out of the small-town Bible Belt. Austin or even Houston would be a big improvement. East or West Coast would be better. Europe or Japan even better. And wherever you go, have some kind of plan to pursue once you get there.
I don't know if Boo is supportive or antagonistic towards me.
I don't live in a small town but it's nothing like Austin where I live.
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
14 Mar 2018, 1:46 pm
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same?
Maybe because you don't have as high "sexual market value"
It's odd how you and my other detractors keep posting on my threads despite how you claim to be sick of them.
I've never claimed to be sick of your threads, nor am I some 'detractor'. I'm simply answering your question. It's not my fault if you don't like the answer. Better to face reality and make necessary changes than to keep your head down and then wonder why you can't see anything.
The odd thing is that I occasionally get told "You probably have no problem attracting girls." or "I'll bet you have to beat off the girls with a stick." and I can only say "If only that was true."
People lie for the sake of sounding nice. These are things only said by old people or taken women.
1. Don't listen to Boo. He's negativity generator from a culture as macho-centric as the one you're stuck in.
2. For years I heard the same positive things as you (and not just from from old people) but assumed they were just being nice. Then I started paying more attention to my physical condition, got the hell out of small-town Texas, actually started modeling professionally, and realized that they were telling me the truth all along. Soon I had more beautiful girls approaching me than my terrible social skills could handle.
3. Let me re-emphasize: Get the hell out of the small-town Bible Belt. Austin or even Houston would be a big improvement. East or West Coast would be better. Europe or Japan even better. And wherever you go, have some kind of plan to pursue once you get there.
Your #2 point really resonates with me. I’m not interested in making quite the effort you have, and I don’t have quite the social deficits others on here do. The sun has set on my dating life. But what you said about what older people said...that’s MONEY. Dead on. All truth. People who have lived and experienced so much know what they’re talking about. The scary thing about Marknis is how much his story resembles my own. The main diff is I obsessed over certain things, understanding women probably #2 on my list, and kept at it day after day until I got it right. So I do know there’s truth in those things even though I had to find out for myself the hard way. I don’t easily take advice so lightly anymore! I may not 100% believe what they say. But I generally do what I’m told anyway because normally I’ll find it confirmed later on.
Good stuff, Benjamin.
14 Mar 2018, 1:49 pm
14 Mar 2018, 4:05 pm
AngelRho wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same?
Maybe because you don't have as high "sexual market value"
It's odd how you and my other detractors keep posting on my threads despite how you claim to be sick of them.
I've never claimed to be sick of your threads, nor am I some 'detractor'. I'm simply answering your question. It's not my fault if you don't like the answer. Better to face reality and make necessary changes than to keep your head down and then wonder why you can't see anything.
The odd thing is that I occasionally get told "You probably have no problem attracting girls." or "I'll bet you have to beat off the girls with a stick." and I can only say "If only that was true."
People lie for the sake of sounding nice. These are things only said by old people or taken women.
1. Don't listen to Boo. He's negativity generator from a culture as macho-centric as the one you're stuck in.
2. For years I heard the same positive things as you (and not just from from old people) but assumed they were just being nice. Then I started paying more attention to my physical condition, got the hell out of small-town Texas, actually started modeling professionally, and realized that they were telling me the truth all along. Soon I had more beautiful girls approaching me than my terrible social skills could handle.
3. Let me re-emphasize: Get the hell out of the small-town Bible Belt. Austin or even Houston would be a big improvement. East or West Coast would be better. Europe or Japan even better. And wherever you go, have some kind of plan to pursue once you get there.
Your #2 point really resonates with me. I’m not interested in making quite the effort you have, and I don’t have quite the social deficits others on here do. The sun has set on my dating life. But what you said about what older people said...that’s MONEY. Dead on. All truth. People who have lived and experienced so much know what they’re talking about. The scary thing about Marknis is how much his story resembles my own. The main diff is I obsessed over certain things, understanding women probably #2 on my list, and kept at it day after day until I got it right. So I do know there’s truth in those things even though I had to find out for myself the hard way. I don’t easily take advice so lightly anymore! I may not 100% believe what they say. But I generally do what I’m told anyway because normally I’ll find it confirmed later on.
Good stuff, Benjamin.
Then why do you keep downplaying my struggles and tell me it was ok to be bullied?
14 Mar 2018, 5:49 pm
Marknis wrote:
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same?
You can! You might have to work on yourself though.
I get told that quite often but I honestly don't know how to go about it. What do I do first? And how long do I have to stay in that mode?
My interpretation of that is to work towards becoming your best self. Someone that the kinds of girls you're interested in would be interested in dating. If you're less interested in dating overweight women, address your weight. Above all though I'd say at your age working towards a greater level of independence is probably the singular most important thing you can do. Having a car and a job will work in your favour but as a 30 year-old still living at home, you're at risk of being seen as a 'momma's boy' or not ambitious or something of the like and that is likely to turn off most women who've 'got it together' i.e has moved out of home and is in control of her own destiny, etc, which at your age I'd imagine would be most women.
Just because you're in that 'mode' doesn't mean you can't still try and find someone, but I'd advise keeping expectations low until you're in a more powerful position.
14 Mar 2018, 5:52 pm
314pe wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I went to the park to get some fresh air and clear my head. Unfortunately, it all became undone because I saw some people my age coupled up. One guy was holding hands with a cute glasses wearing girl with a Legend of Zelda t-shirt and a Hello Kitty backpack. Why can't I have the same?
You can! You might have to work on yourself though.
It’s so easy for people to say that. But and I don’t expect you to answer as no one else does, what if someone can’t work on themselves what if there’s no way to improve themselves? What if like billions of other people thy doomed to be low class poor people?
14 Mar 2018, 5:53 pm
14 Mar 2018, 7:38 pm
AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
14 Mar 2018, 11:36 pm
15 Mar 2018, 4:33 am
CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,297
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
15 Mar 2018, 12:15 pm
15 Mar 2018, 1:14 pm
