"You need to work on yourself!"

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And what to people who can never do that?
I can’t work full time so being independent and well off is impossible I’ll be on welfare’s u til I die or they get rid of it.

All need to do is die. That’s all I have to look forward to is dying alone or homeless

I've had my driver's license since I was 21. I struggled to get it but I finally did after trial and error for eight months. I didn't want to be stuck in the house anymore and have to wait on others.

I actually remember wondering if I could've applied the same thing to getting a girlfriend when I finally got my license.

So what you're saying is that people like us should settle for less because we're not good enough.

I tried that. Never again!

You said yourself "nobody wants to be someone's second choice", yet you want us to settle for our own second choices.

This is perhaps the most important issue. If you are frustrated with your choices of available partners, maybe you do need to work on yourself. Not physically, but mentally.

Either work on themselves or lower their standards. Maybe both.

My older brother tried to push me to date one of the ND women in the support group who I mentioned earlier. My mother actually made us eat dinner together a couple of times because she wanted me to see her as a potential girlfriend (Once angrily telling me "I wish you liked Amy!") but it became clear after those times together we didn't mesh at all. Her parents still hovered over her, we didn't really have common interests, and we were on vastly different mental wavelengths. My older brother still pressed me about it for a long time but eventually stopped.

It's not so much that the standards have to be lowered. It's just that the standards have to be reasonable. I do believe getting to the best exclusive relationship is the best thing to do. But a lot of times you don't really know that's what you're getting until you've been at it for a while. Saying "I don't want to spend another weekend completely alone" is not the same thing as saying "I'm going to marry the preacher's gorgeous daughter." Maybe you will marry the preacher's daughter and maybe you won't. But you most CERTAINLY WON'T if you're waiting around for your chance with her. It's a goal to be achieved, a position to be earned. Thinking you will ONLY EVER date preachers' girls along the way would be a mistake, and I'm not sure the lonely weekends leading up to that are really worth it.

(BTW--I'm saying "preachers' girls" in an exaggerated sense of really any girl you would consider a "high standards" kind of girl. If you know anything about the reality of preachers' kids, you know not to sniff around preachers' houses searching for top quality. Marknis certainly would not date either kind of girl--the idealized, probably stuck-up, Christian virgin or the $|u+ that's closer to reality. But if your sights are set on the kind of girl as with the former, you have a lot of work to do. I strongly warn against waiting around for her. If you aren't already on a path that leads to the possibility of dating this kind of girl, be prepared to spend the rest of your life in celibacy.)

Where I live, it seems nearly impossible to meet anybody single. Every woman I've met in the past years has been married or in a relationship. The last time I can remember meeting anyone single was 5 years ago, and she made it clear she was not interested in me romantically.

After one of my neighbors got divorced, she went online and seriously dated a couple of guys. She ended up marrying a guy who lived 1000 miles away! And moved to where he lived.

Even when I called myself a Christian, that wasn't enough for the preacher girls. I didn't spike my hair, dress up preppy, shout every word I said, come from a high status family, and attend the church the preacher girls did.

Why are you so interested in preacher girls? They sound awfully boring to me.

I am not. Just saying that being a Christian isn't going to translate to social success even in the Bible Belt.

You're in the wrong country, man. It's the opposite over here; Christians are seen as wimpy goody-goody-two-shoes with zero social skills. I use to be good friends with a Christian group though and that wasn't the case (though they were pretty nice dudes), but that's the perception here.

Christians here do think they are oppressed despite how they are in the majority and have the most political as well as social influence.

Christians here are seen as the wealthier class.

What country are you in? I wish I could simply move to Europe or Canada. I am so tired of America.