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NT needs help with her Aspie interest

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Lonermutant
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08 Jun 2009, 2:24 pm

It seems to me that it's really weird that a woman, especially a nt woman, can be attracted to a man who is obviously not interested in neither her or other people, lives an extremely ridgid life, obviously has no interest in her and does not have intimate feelings for her!
She is obviously a troll.



ithinkican
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08 Jun 2009, 2:31 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
It seems to me that it's really weird that a woman, especially a nt woman, can be attracted to a man who is obviously not interested in neither her or other people, lives an extremely ridgid life, obviously has no interest in her and does not have intimate feelings for her!
She is obviously a troll.


I'm sorry you feel so cynical towards relationships; That must be really hard for you to deal with. To only see the negativity in a post I wrote that was about caring and concern for my aspie boyfriend is just so sad because there was nothing negative and no indication that this was a bad relationship. I would hope that any significant other of an aspie would care enough to find out how to further the relationship so that both people are happy. I'm lucky to have found someone who cares enough to work with me on this stuff, and I hope you can eventually see the positive in things.



Lonermutant
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08 Jun 2009, 2:37 pm

ithinkican wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
It seems to me that it's really weird that a woman, especially a nt woman, can be attracted to a man who is obviously not interested in neither her or other people, lives an extremely ridgid life, obviously has no interest in her and does not have intimate feelings for her!
She is obviously a troll.


I'm sorry you feel so cynical towards relationships; That must be really hard for you to deal with. To only see the negativity in a post I wrote that was about caring and concern for my aspie boyfriend is just so sad because there was nothing negative and no indication that this was a bad relationship. I would hope that any significant other of an aspie would care enough to find out how to further the relationship so that both people are happy. I'm lucky to have found someone who cares enough to work with me on this stuff, and I hope you can eventually see the positive in things.


She even wrote that he doesn't even show any interest in her!!
"I know he likes and cares about me, although he shows it quite differently than an NT. He needs a lot of space and is a workaholic, and I understand that I will likely never be 1st in his life. It's almost like he forgets about me when I'm not around, though. I'll email him and get no response, even when I've asked a direct question. He doesn't respond to texts (because they are pointless). He always answers the phone, but he's mentioned in passing that he hates the phone. How do I keep myself around when he's so hard to reach?"



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08 Jun 2009, 2:51 pm

Quote:
I'm sorry you feel so cynical towards relationships; That must be really hard for you to deal with. To only see the negativity in a post I wrote that was about caring and concern for my aspie boyfriend is just so sad because there was nothing negative and no indication that this was a bad relationship. I would hope that any significant other of an aspie would care enough to find out how to further the relationship so that both people are happy. I'm lucky to have found someone who cares enough to work with me on this stuff, and I hope you can eventually see the positive in things.

Good luck with your dude, and don't feed the trolls. :D


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Lonermutant
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08 Jun 2009, 2:56 pm

Silvervarg wrote:
Quote:
I'm sorry you feel so cynical towards relationships; That must be really hard for you to deal with. To only see the negativity in a post I wrote that was about caring and concern for my aspie boyfriend is just so sad because there was nothing negative and no indication that this was a bad relationship. I would hope that any significant other of an aspie would care enough to find out how to further the relationship so that both people are happy. I'm lucky to have found someone who cares enough to work with me on this stuff, and I hope you can eventually see the positive in things.

Good luck with your dude, and don't feed the trolls. :D


She's better off with a nt boyfriend.



ToadOfSteel
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08 Jun 2009, 3:16 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
She's better off with a nt boyfriend.


As in someone who is just going to use her for sex?



Lonermutant
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08 Jun 2009, 3:20 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
She's better off with a nt boyfriend.


As in someone who is just going to use her for sex?



No, someone that's actually interested in having social contact with her.



ithinkican
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08 Jun 2009, 3:28 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
She's better off with a nt boyfriend.


As in someone who is just going to use her for sex?


lol, you hit the nail on the head.



Lene
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09 Jun 2009, 11:53 am

Lonermutant wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
She's better off with a nt boyfriend.


As in someone who is just going to use her for sex?



No, someone that's actually interested in having social contact with her.


um... a bit harsh, but he does have a slight point (the first post was just rude though). It can be lonely going out with an aspie,even for another one, although Ithinkican seems to be happy enough with how things are, and it doesn't sound like her boyfriend is unhappy either.

Best of luck to the pair of you!



DITZY72
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09 Jun 2009, 1:40 pm

Wow... it sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I just posted a need for advice. You worded yours so much better then I did. I am also and NT that is head over heals for an Aspie. I swear is the man I've always dreamed of. BUT.....

He never calls or emails. He did at first and now we talk when I initiate it. When we are together it's perfect literally. This is not his first relationship and physical intimacy isn't a problem for us.... but he leaves and I don't know when I will hear from him again. It did not start off this way. I was raised a man is to call and initiate so I waited and he did he called first, asked me out first, etc.... and now I do all the initiating. I don't like it but I'm afraid if I stop so will the relationship.

I talked to him about it. Like you I figured that would be it and he would run for the door but NO... the very next day he really started trying to communicate with me and for a period it got much better. But now we are back to square one and I'm not hearing from him much. I know he gets lost in his interest and he has reassured me that he cares about me and this relationship. So I'm trying to relax and I wait as long as I can then I break down and call. I don't know how to bring it up again to him without seeming like a nag.

I don't want to give up on this relationship when it's 95% good and only 5% bad even though that 5% is a biggie for me.

So good luck.... I totally get it. You are not alone.

ps... how do you get an NT to fall in love with you???? You Aspie's are the most loveable people I know.



DITZY72
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09 Jun 2009, 1:41 pm

Oh yeah.... and I'm trying to figure out how to get his interest... or focus... back on me atleast for awhile.



DITZY72
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09 Jun 2009, 1:46 pm

oh and another thing is he said even he forgets to call he always welcomes a call... and does act happy to hear from me. I just wish he would miss me enough to want to call me and see what i'm doing.... anyone I could go on all day about this.



Lonermutant
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09 Jun 2009, 2:57 pm

DITZY72 wrote:
Wow... it sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I just posted a need for advice. You worded yours so much better then I did. I am also and NT that is head over heals for an Aspie. I swear is the man I've always dreamed of. BUT.....

He never calls or emails. He did at first and now we talk when I initiate it. When we are together it's perfect literally. This is not his first relationship and physical intimacy isn't a problem for us.... but he leaves and I don't know when I will hear from him again. It did not start off this way. I was raised a man is to call and initiate so I waited and he did he called first, asked me out first, etc.... and now I do all the initiating. I don't like it but I'm afraid if I stop so will the relationship.

I talked to him about it. Like you I figured that would be it and he would run for the door but NO... the very next day he really started trying to communicate with me and for a period it got much better. But now we are back to square one and I'm not hearing from him much. I know he gets lost in his interest and he has reassured me that he cares about me and this relationship. So I'm trying to relax and I wait as long as I can then I break down and call. I don't know how to bring it up again to him without seeming like a nag.

I don't want to give up on this relationship when it's 95% good and only 5% bad even though that 5% is a biggie for me.

So good luck.... I totally get it. You are not alone.

ps... how do you get an NT to fall in love with you???? You Aspie's are the most loveable people I know.



Classic Aspie male. Only interested in what's between the legs, not what's between the ears.



robbokris
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09 Jun 2009, 3:44 pm

cyberscan wrote:
mosto wrote:
How do you get an NT to fall in love with you?


That, my friend, is the million dollar question. I would love to know.


I'd pay 10 million to find out. :lol:



Silvervarg
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09 Jun 2009, 3:59 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
DITZY72 wrote:
Wow... it sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I just posted a need for advice. You worded yours so much better then I did. I am also and NT that is head over heals for an Aspie. I swear is the man I've always dreamed of. BUT.....

He never calls or emails. He did at first and now we talk when I initiate it. When we are together it's perfect literally. This is not his first relationship and physical intimacy isn't a problem for us.... but he leaves and I don't know when I will hear from him again. It did not start off this way. I was raised a man is to call and initiate so I waited and he did he called first, asked me out first, etc.... and now I do all the initiating. I don't like it but I'm afraid if I stop so will the relationship.

I talked to him about it. Like you I figured that would be it and he would run for the door but NO... the very next day he really started trying to communicate with me and for a period it got much better. But now we are back to square one and I'm not hearing from him much. I know he gets lost in his interest and he has reassured me that he cares about me and this relationship. So I'm trying to relax and I wait as long as I can then I break down and call. I don't know how to bring it up again to him without seeming like a nag.

I don't want to give up on this relationship when it's 95% good and only 5% bad even though that 5% is a biggie for me.

So good luck.... I totally get it. You are not alone.

ps... how do you get an NT to fall in love with you???? You Aspie's are the most loveable people I know.



Classic Aspie male. Only interested in what's between the legs, not what's between the ears.

Gee... you're really turned on by the attention aren't you...


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Lonermutant
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09 Jun 2009, 4:07 pm

I think the nt women who post about their unlucky relationships with Aspie males are just trolls, probably Aspie males themselves or teenage girls wanting to mess with our heads.