This "nice guys vs jerks" nonsense has to stop.

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Anyone who uses the terms "nice guy" & "jerk" obviously sees themselves as a nice guy. Maybe the problem is that they can't understand a different perspective.

From a so called jerk's point of view, the proper terms would be "coward" & "assertive man".

I think a lot of guys here have a right to be angry. Just saying.

The way "normal people" deal with relationships makes my mind boggle and crushes my... faith in humanity. It's like everyone is a slave of their own psychology and relationships are just random accidents. Care to remember that a lot of married people are unhappy, and many go for divorce. People have tons upon tons of break ups. People get mad and angry at each other and hate each other for many years after having hurt each other.

If some guys feel angry about how girls treat them, I think they totally have that right. But I also think the the way many "normal people" manage their relationships generally leads to unhappiness. Biological concepts don't work all that well in this society. And being a jerk, or pretending to be an alpha male, or any of that behavior that is often found preferable by a female, is pure biology. Short term, attraction wise, it may work. Long term, not necessarily, that's where the brain kicks in and if all you had is your alpha-male attitude that is not very helpful.

I tend to avoid alpha males or guys who come off superior. I don't think they'll permit me the equality that I seek. The whole male ego thing is overrated.

Same goes for playing games. I want honesty in my relationships. Not games, not lies, not pretending to be something you are not.

Everything above is personal opinion and is not intended to insult anyone...

The problem with aspies is that we tend to view things as dichotomies - black/white, all-or-nothing. The truth is that most guys are neither “nice guys”, nor “jerks”. I for one would probably not fall into any of those two categories. I know several guys who are in relationships, none of them being what you would call “jerks”.

Sure, there's undeniably some truth in that jerks have an easier time in the dating game. But it doesn't mean that jerks are the only guys getting gf's.

Ok ok guys ! ! let's not turn this thread to another "Jerks vs nice guys" again! At least let's respect the OP's request here!

sunshower, you must create an oath text for the Aspie guys calling "no more jerk/nice debate again!"

I was wondering, am I the only one who finds the "jerk vs nice guy" philosophy to be inherently sexist against women? Just look at its primary sentence "women don't want nice guys, they want jerks.": firstly it's treating all women as one bloc rather than individuals and secondly its saying that women are unable to make good choices when it comes to dating, that's kinda rude isn't it?

I do know about evolutionary biology and to tell you the truth I don't buy it. The theory is sound but its effects frequently overestimated. As thinking creatures we can overrule our instincts, for evidence look at the Asch conformity experiments: it clearly demonstrates instincts to conform to the group even when we know it to be wrong. A repeat useing maths, chemistry and engineering students found almost zero conformity, relivent training completely overruled instinct.

I think women honestly don't like the so called "jerks". One of the main things they do like is confidence, and it just happens, that most of these so called "jerks" have that confidence. This almost always wins out over someone who is less confident, or has self-esteem issues.

When women say that they want a nice guy, they truly mean that, but what they don't say, is that they want a nice guy that is also confident and has other characteristics that they like. A lot of guys are either total as*holes, or they are too nice, and have no backbone...and there is not much in between. So, basically, women are looking for a balance of the two. I think this is why you see those girls that have the "jerk" boyfriend, and the "nice guy" friend tagging along all the time. They aren't getting all of her needs met from one guy, so they find another to fulfill those needs.

Also, I think a lot of women (On here, and in real life, NT's and Aspies) take dating for granted, and they have a selfish attitude about it, because they have never really experienced rejection as much as men have, and they don't really understand what it's like to be alone most of their lives. If they would only put themselves in our shoes for a while, then maybe they would get it.

And no, I don't hate women, and I'm not trying to be biased or anything, but when people are looking to correct a problem, they need to hear the truth, and I try to be truthful with people (from my perspective, anyways). Also, there are some really decent women out there, you just have to look for them. I have found a few myself, so they do exist.