Confussed and Sad

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it doesn't sound like much trust between people, here. The cultural differences, people buying furniture three months into a relationship. . . throwing confidences back into each other's faces? Changing rules without consulting each other, expecting the other person to conform to their way of thinking without discussing it first. . .

wow, cut your losses and be glad you aren't in divorce court over the whole thing.

I don't want to sound offensive or anything but isn't three months a little too soon? The problem is you didn't give yourself enough time to really know her. You should give yourselves much more time. At least a few years.

If she can drop you that quick and not care, she didn't care anyway. Also if you both go to church then the people there must know a little about you, if not who cares, if they do know even a little, they would choose you over her, they will know she's dishonest, if they don't, then who cares. I know it's sad, but you are better off, she's not even a good actor, she dropped you the first time you asked her to help out. If she cared she would have tried to make you feel better or at least felt bad.

This is an interesting situation.

If she wanted you for the green card she wouldn't break-up with you. If she was after money, well I don't want to be rude or something but she would probably look for somebody with a better situation. Also the fact that she returned everything you gave her doesn't fit into the money digger profile. I think there is a cultural difference that you both don't understand and she may lack experience in relationships and doesn't know how to react. It is possible that she felt that you demanded money for the matress and when she said that she doesn't have them you punished her asking money for petrol. Since you are going to get married I presume the matress will be used by both of you, maybe you can discuss ways to save money, like moving in together and using her matress and saving money by paying only one rent.

Yes I do agree that it may be a culture issue but we are humans to who have feeling of love and fellings for each other. I never said she wanted a green card. To be honest that never crossed my mind while dating her. Aslo I never thought she was after my money. The problem I think is if she really and trully loved me she would have tried to talk this out and not be so cold hearted. I think she never loved me enoogh to marry me. Iam greatful that she did this before we got married. I called her cell phone and left meessage stating that I am sorry if I hurt your fellings. And I said Iam not calling you to come back to me. I just wanted to end this on a good note not being angry at each other. If money was not a issue for her. She would have never wanted to end our relationship like this. Not be so mean like give me the ring back and said how much did I pay for it? She said you can go return the ring and buy your bed. She would want to work it out. Very imature on her part.

I doubt she loved you. She'd only been dating you for 3 months. That's barely enough time for infatuation to develop, let alone love.

I think it's a mistake to marry somebody after only 3 months of dating. You just don't know them well enough. It sounds like neither of you really had the slightest clue about each other. Maybe in a year's time you would.

Update: I have not talked to her since last Thursday. But I did see her yesterday when she was being picked up to go to work. She totally ignored me. Didn't even look at me once. This morning I saw here again when she was coming out of her apartment with her roomate and daughter. She new I was there she had her back towards me the whole time and the roomates daughter looked at me very weird. This is driving me crazy I don't want to see her again every time I do I get very sad:( I'am thinking about telling her roomate what really happend. She is making me look it was my falt and it wasn't. Please give me some more advice.

Awwww whitman . I feel you. You are deeply in love with this girl and no matter how she treats you, you still feel like shes the most beautiful precious girl in the world.
You want her back you hate how much you love her.

I understand. this is how I feel about this Arabian girl who always ignored me. a lot of other girls ignored me, and many ignored me more than her, but I still like her, and that was 4 years ago, last time i came in contact with her. I see her occasionally. she was never my girlfriend but a girl in my class.

The only thing you can do is either try to get her back and pay for every little thing for her just because you love her, or get someone new.

You're not going to get over this its too painful

please get someone new. this girl can only hurt you, you deserve so much better. I know it's hard but its worth it. what if you didn't drop her, you might miss the right girl when she comes along. There are people that will treat you well. they are just hard to find. I thought I would never find anyone, but when I wasn't looking there he was. Now i've been married 23 yrs. Please wait on the right one.

Dang. it seems like the aspie girls always say it took them a long time to find the right one, but you were 23 when you found the right one, thats pretty young. this guy is 36.

ok, I didn't catch his age. That does make a difference, but I hate to see anyone get treated that way, Hobbies are more fun alone than that kind of being together. I wish I could help.