Is it normal to want affection more than sex?

Page 2 of 3 [ 41 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Michjo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,020
Location: Oxford, UK

16 Jul 2009, 10:51 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I never said that I believe in "love at first sight"... in fact, nothing could be further from the truth... I have to get to know someone for a while before any romantic attraction develops...

Contextual fail, i never claimed you believed "love at first sight" to be true

My point is, most people get together for sex and then later on decide said relationship is good (logically or emotionall) and then claim they were in love from the start (lust=love).

It's going to be very hard for you to find somebody like yourself, i should know because i am in the same boat.

activebutodd
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 May 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 828

16 Jul 2009, 11:12 am

Normal to value affection more highly? Why not?

ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

16 Jul 2009, 11:22 am

Michjo wrote:

My point is, most people get together for sex and then later on decide said relationship is good (logically or emotionall) and then claim they were in love from the start (lust=love).

That just seems... backwards... No wonder the divorce rate is 50%...

GhostsInTheWallpaper
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 262

16 Jul 2009, 11:31 am

My boyfriend shares your sentiments, and in fact he was afraid of sex until recently. It is considered "abnormal" for a guy, but I was actually glad for it, because when I first got together with my boyfriend I was also afraid of sex and especially of being used for sex. (I was never abused in a relationship or anything, just paranoid I guess.) But I eventually wanted to try it. I myself would prefer to have a bond of love and trust with someone before I get into sex.

_________________
Right planet, wrong country: possibly PLI as a child, Dxed ADD as a teen, naturalized citizen of neurotypicality as an adult

LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

16 Jul 2009, 12:24 pm

Yes, it is abnormal. Same here btw.

makuranososhi wrote:

Normalcy is defined by the group of people that surround you in a given place at a given time... I've all but given up on normal as a concept at this point, as it seems somewhere between quicksilver and a mirage. There are times when I want nothing more than to feel her hand in mine; sex getting in the way of sensuality, as it were... there is nothing wrong or abnormal about desiring affection and closeness over other urges, ToS. And I think it says a lot more positive about the person you are, too, over anything else.

M.

Normalcy is derived from the word 'norm', the norm is defined by the majority. Here the definition of 'norm': a standard or model or pattern regarded as typical.

If 99% of guys consider their sexual urges as first priority then this is the typical male behavior so this its norm , any other behavior would be out of the norm ,hence abnormal.

and oh btw, any type of abnormality won't be really appreciated by most girls, keep that in mind.

It's logical, captain.

makuranososhi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 May 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,805
Location: Banned by Alex

16 Jul 2009, 1:30 pm

*buzzer*

Have to disagree; it is generally the slightly abnormal that seems to garner more interest in my experience, LPP. You have chosen to ignore what I wrote; norms are derived from the people, setting and situation - there are no absolute norms, and few if any people who actually conform to what those are as a whole. Logic has little to do with emotions, Science Officer. Therefore, while there may be relative norms that one can choose to apply, there is no 'universal' norm - what passes in one culture is controversial in another, and so forth.

M.

_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.

For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

billsmithglendale
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,223

16 Jul 2009, 3:49 pm

I don't think that's abnormal. Some women you want for affection, some for sex, and some for a bit of both. I've had crushes on women where I didn't even think of sex with them, just being near them and talking to them (and I'm a very sexual individual), and some, completely opposite, where I wouldn't even want to kiss them, but I would have sex with them given the opportunity and the "no kissing" stipulation.

MDD123
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

16 Jul 2009, 6:30 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:

In that case, finding the right one would be a matter of weighing her sexual appeal against her emotional appeal. My demographic for a suitable match isn't attractive by hollywood standards, but if I got into what I found attractive, I'd weird everyone out.

886
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,664
Location: SLC, Utah

16 Jul 2009, 7:02 pm

heh, i find it sad that people actually need to ask this question, to be honest.

_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.

SpongeBobRocksMao
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,774
Location: SpongeBob's Pineapple (England really!)

17 Jul 2009, 1:59 am

I see it as normal, if I was in a relationship it would be the same for me.

_________________
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBobRocksMao!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
SpongeBobRocksMao!

MDD123
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,007

17 Jul 2009, 2:16 am

886 wrote:

heh, i find it sad that people actually need to ask this question, to be honest.

Well, I'm kind of glad it was brought up, there are lots of guys who never think of this sort of thing, take me for instance.

billsmithglendale
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,223

17 Jul 2009, 9:54 am

MDD123 wrote:

billsmithglendale wrote:

I think that's a pretty good equation -- someone who scores high on both would be a good match.

You only live one life -- Is what you want so outrageous that you can't go for it and be happy? (I'm assuming what you want is legal)

kiransalee
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 16 Jan 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 42

17 Jul 2009, 9:12 pm

mgran wrote:

There is a reason that cultures used to insist on sex after marriage... it's not because there's anything wrong with sex, in fact, it's great. But to build a solid relationship, you don't want to get carried away by sex, and neglect building the solid foundations of love.

If you see the relationship, friendship, trust, and intimacy as the foundation and building block, and sex as the final confirming capstone, then you're being very sensible.

I never thought of it that way

Manders
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,180
Location: 6 Underground

17 Jul 2009, 10:49 pm

I too want affection more than sex. Though it seems to be more common in females...

ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

17 Jul 2009, 10:52 pm

Manders wrote:

I too want affection more than sex. Though it seems to be more common in females...

If it's that much more common in women, why is it so hard for me to find a woman that wants affection?

Manders
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,180
Location: 6 Underground

17 Jul 2009, 11:45 pm

^ I dunno. I wish I had advice for you. I can only really speak for myself and the females I know well.

Page 2 of 3 [ 41 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

Is it normal to want affection more than sex? Post Reply New Topic

Is it normal to want affection more than sex?