This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel!

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Lots of great advice from Android and others on this thread.

The short answer -- forget this girl. Only when you start valuing your own time and your own dignity will you get the treatment you deserve. Don't waste any more time on this one -- she's the typical flirt girl/attention wh*re/user that I talked about in my "Don't Get Used" thread.

Things will equalize when you get older, but right now this girl is riding high on gender inequalities of supply and demand. She probably won't even care when you stop talking to her, so that should be pretty good motivation to end it now, because you are just wasting time and mental energy on someone who will never follow through and who is stringing you along, when you could be spending real time and energy on someone who loves you.

Sure. No problem. Here:

Thanks, Janissy. Good move and good advice.

Whatever happens, BoiseAirport, keep us posted. We'll be cheering you on! =^_^=

This girl is just stringing you along because she craves male attention and knows you'll give it to her as an asexual thing.

There's this girl that's been doing a somewhat similar thing with me and I just decided after reading this thread that it's probably best to just delete her from fbook, block her on AIM, and block her number. Most of the time we interact is over AIM and she ALWAYS initiates the conversation, even after she not-so-subtly rejected me with an "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" (in my head I'm thinking "You aren't? You were flirting with me pretty hard last time we went on a date and that kiss certainly didn't feel really platonic"). So, I accept just being friends with her, we've got a lot in common and have really cool conversations. I ask her if she wants to go see a concert with me and some friends (this is what friends do after all, right? they don't just sit around talking on the internet) two weeks in advance of the concert, and at first she's like "oh yeah definitely!! sounds great!"

The day before the concert, she sends me this on facebook: "ok so i just remembered what i was going to do on friday, i told the fam that i would go to the beach with them all that day, so i prob won't be able to go txt me if you're like 30 min from the showing and you can get a ticket for me though, just incase the beach trip gets cancelled lol see you soon!! !! (by random chance lol)"

So after that, I figure this girl must completely love to mess with people and probably hates me as evidenced by her saying "by random chance." I log onto AIM sometime two weeks later, and what do you know, she's initiating conversations with me and smothering me with compliments. I literally have no solely AIM based interaction friends that I know in real life, what a bizarre ridiculous idea. So, f**k that.

Drop her as soon as possible, dude. You'll feel better for it, even if there are no other single women in your life.

My ex did something similar when we started dating; it was frustrating. We would make plans to go out, and 20 minutes before we were due, she would ask a mutual friend to call and cancel.

Once we actually went on a couple of dates, things improved. Some women are just very strange creatures.

Well, hmmm...

Once again, the mind is bent further into shapes similar to tasty pastries...

I leave her alone for a day with the intention of not contacting her until she contacts me, and in merely 16 hours she sends me this really sweet text about how she couldn't sleep without at least saying goodnight to me. That was yesterday...and now today, she once again sent me another text initiating a small texting conversation.....maybe I was wrong?

And another thing to note too is that she told me about a couple weeks ago (when we had a conversation where I asked why she kept continually declining my invitations to a date) is that things dating-wise will be tremendously easier when she gets a driver's license. She just got it this morning, and so I think I'll give it one last shot and ask her for another fun date, and if she declines, it'll be the end of it. I just can't keep waiting like this.

I do think that she has lost whatever attraction she had for me, and that there is a nagging voice in the back of my head that's denying it. Is it so wrong to deny such a thing though? I agree that the whole 'fish in the sea' argument is a tired one. I've never met anyone like her. I know that's such a cliche thing to say, but truly, I connect with her on so many things that I've never been able to with other people. She understands me, and I understand her. I may be delusional about a lot of things, but definately not that. I genuinely feel that it is extremely unlikely that I'll ever meet anyone that feels so in-tune with me (and vice versa) again.

So that's why I've been willing to wait 6 months. Because of all the girls I've ever liked, she is quite literally the only one that I could see myself having a lasting relationship with. There's that nagging voice that tells me she doesn't feel the same way, which to me is a tragedy, and if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is.

*sigh*

There is another red flag I haven't gotten into...during the conversation I referred to earlier in the second paragraph, she passively told me that there was this guy who asked for her number, and that the only reason that hasn't developed to anything beyond phone conversation is because she's pretty much locked in the house everyday due to her extremely controlling borderline-abusive father.

*Hold the phone!*

The ONLY reason is because she has Stalin for a Dad? Not because I had asked her out? What happened to me? Did I just suddenly become relegated to friend status? The other big red flag is that when I tell her things like how I would love to date her or be with her or whatever, there's little to no reciprocity. I've only outwardly said that once or twice, but everytime there's always that carefully phrased way of saying Thank You without having to say that you feel the same way. I mean, at that point you're not even speaking English, you're speaking in code!

Pretty much everyone I talk to says I should abandon ship. Maybe I should...maybe I should...

Wanna know what happened a few years ago? I had this girl and I felt the same way, "in tune" like I couldn't picture myself with another girl. You asked her point blank for a date and she tells you that she's interested in another guy? Do you see the lack of respect for YOUR feelings?

Back to my story, I was 17 and I really had a thing for this girl. She goes and gets married to some guy she used to party with (in Idaho no less), and has a couple of his kids. Even knowing how I felt, she made her decision, nothing I could do.

5 years later, she contacts me out of nowhere and wants to meet up with me (divorced by this time). I should've learned the first time, she picked another man over me and I should leave it that way. I f**ed up then too. When I was on r&r leave from Iraq, I went to go see her and her kids. Never mind I had other girls who were interested, I was attached to her and she knew it.

She basically did the same thing she did before a month after I went back to Iraq. I called her up on christmas day and her boyfriend was in the background, I had to find out from her sister (the honest one) what was really going on because that woman lied to me every step of the way (I really wanna use the c-word here).

For the next month, all I could think about was how I'd been duped again, and how I had an m-4 and a full magazine on me at all times, and how I could just end it all right then and stop thinking about it. Thank god for getting loaded off of cough syrup.



I have a lot of respect for you man. You don't play the field and try to see how many women you can rack up. You just stick with one and you try so hard you're over here trying to figure out what to do next. But for all the effort, she's playing you. She knows exactly what to say to get a response out of you. I'm standing by my advice of remaining optimistic for her, and completely uninterested (ignore her and get over her if at all possible). Just let me add someting, LIE TO HER. Give her a legitimate reason why you can't attend to her need to mindf**k you. Tell her your frind's tire blew out and you have to give him a ride. Tell her you're out clubbing with some friends. Don't tell her that you're sitting at the house waiting for her to aknowledge you. Unless you wanna end up listening to her tell you all about her new boyfriend, and don't think she won't do it.

Also, do you honestly think that someone with an ultra strict father is gonna let her have a driver's license and start leaving the house? It sounds like she's distorting the situation a little to give her some arguing room. This is a red flag right here, I'll bet her dad is just trying to keep her out of trouble, but slowly giving her some independence.

Wait a minute! She doesn't have her driver's license? She's at home controlled by her Dad? You're just 18? (I just now looked at the age, should have before). Maybe the reason she isn't getting into a lasting relationship is because she's TOO YOUNG. And if you're still in highschool, so are you. You're getting advice from a bunch of adults on how to relate to adult women. And it's all about a girl still in highschool. Yeesh! She's getting called a user and a cuddle wh*re and other insults when the clear truth of it is she's too young for this.