Does she like me?

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I think you could have a great shot, but don't set yourself up (like I do ) assuming she is the one true one. I read somewhere that when you spend a lot of time fantasizing about a love interest the real relationship will automatically pale by comparison.

That's like all I do is fantasize about her, lol. I don't have even the slightest clue what the real thing is like anyway, so no matter it should be good. Assuming everything works out in the first place.

I think she likes you. Take a chance and ask her out. The worse she can say is no and then you know for sure.

I think I've been friend-zoned, someone brought it to my attention that that was also a possibility and it makes complete sense. I always considered it that she would either like me the way I like her or she wouldn't like me at all. Never this inbetween area known as friends, it's the first time it's happened with a girl I like. And it sucks REALLY bad. I felt sick to my stomach when I thought about it yesterday and I felt sick to my stomach after I saw her today.

At least she talks to me, I had to go into a room with a lot of computers and she was in the class and she told me right off the bat that hers works and that she was about to call me. So if nothing else, she doesn't feel awkward anymore to talk to me. But it took me two years of time and pain, and that's all I get for it. Occasional small conversation.

There are worse things than making a friend. I know that's not what you want to hear, but here's the trick:

If you're OK with 'just' making a friend, you can focus on actually getting to know her - what interests her, what she likes to do with you. And it can bring your anxiety level way down, so you can be more natural. If she likes you, it's because of you, not something you're trying to be. Try to find something you can do with her that isn't a 'date'.

This is called an unfair friendship , a one-sided crush friendship is totally unfair for the one who's having the crush.

You must end this friendship by asking her out , she may say yes or she may say no, either way you'll kill this friendship.

Don't worry in case of refusal, since you are not an old childhood friend then she won't be heart-broken , she might be upset for a couple of hours and then she's gonna completely forget about you and move on normally in her life. Attractive girls usually get used to a lot of this stuff btw...on a frequent basis.

Killing this friendship is a win-win for you since keeping this 'friendship' is not a win at all.

You have a point, but I don't know if she would want to do anything with me outside of school. Plus I don't know how to do that in a just friends manner instead of a I want you manner I guess, lol

Yeah, I figured that much out for myself.

If she doesn't want to go further than friends with me, then there's no sense in sitting around watching and/or hearing about her being with other guys if I can help it cause clearly I won't be able to just get over her like that if I've been hanging on this long. No matter what happens.

I think this is one of those things that men and women will continue to see differently. From the girl's perspective, and I've been there, to have someone I genuinely like (but not in "that way") dump a friendship because I wouldn't be exactly what they wanted me to be would feel like he wasn't really interested in the real me anyway. I would feel cynical. Maybe I'm the only one, but when I say I want to be friends then that means I want to be friends. If I don't like you I'm just going to avoid you. However there have been times when the friendship continued, and I enjoyed the friendship only to find out later that the guy had been assuming I would change my mind. j5689 I do know how you feel. I have been there too. I'm with duke666 on this one. Do what feels right but remember the girl is going to wonder why you are suddenly acting cold.

If it wasn't so hard to just explain to her that it's so I don't have to hurt myself watching her get involved with other guys, then maybe she wouldn't find it so hard to understand. And it does feel a bit selfish to think that way but should we really stay friends if I'm always going to want more than that and for that reason, I would receive pain from it?

Not that we're event that close as friends if I'm not mistaken.

And someone on another forum brought it to my attention that this friendship would only last so long anyway given the ticking clock of graduation since this is our senior year.

And yet for some reason I still find it hard to let go of it all no matter what happens. One way or another, I feel the day is coming. It's amazing because I was thinking about this two years ago and it was so far away, and now here I am, and this thing is either gonna work or it's gonna die. Totally not the way I imagined it would ever happen.

So I didn't talk to her all of the past week cause I didn't want to bother anymore, but then this happens:

She called me yesterday and wanted me to come down to her classroom to help her fix her internet, and I said that maybe there's a way we can figure this out without me having to come down to that room and fix it, and she just insisted that I do it personally. Once I get down there, she clicks on IE and it loads up fine. But there did happen to be another person with problems in the room, although that wasn't relevant.

Then I went into the office where she is a student aid today and she didn't say anything to me for a few minutes while I was asking the secretaries about the printer problems but then she suddenly mentioned that she had a Bluetooth headset she wanted me to get working and gave it to me. And the Marine Corps recruiter comes in and says hi to her and they seem to imply that she is considering it. And then I leave and the Bluetooth earhook seems to be breaking in half and is now hanging by a thread and I was already wondering about that Marine Corps thing.

So I go back up to get the earhook thing straightened out and then I start talking to her about why it's a bad decision with that Marine Corps thing. And then she says she wants to be a Marksman so she can shoot people without being arrested. And then I tried explaining stuff to to her and we eventually started talking about some other stuff.

And then at the end of the day I saw her right as I walked out of the door of the building while she was waiting near the busses. And I was looking at her the whole time I was walking and then she looked up and saw me and then we both weren't sure what to do and then we both started smiling and then I waved and then she waved and we smiled some more and then I just turned my head back forward and continued walking to my bus without looking back.


The things that threw me off were that in the office she didn't seem to look at me that much, and she seemed kind of distracted. But does it seem like she likes me from any of the other signs?

That pretty much made my day though. I just want some attention and she can give it to me sometimes. Unfortunately I get attached to that too easily.

Yes, she likes you. She's creating opportunities for you to say something, but she's also being coy.

Is there something you can ask if she wants to do with you? Something 'safe' and casual?

I personally never give someone a chance to change their mind and start wanting me. Once scorned I kiss them off forever. I think it's a character weakness to at one point veto me then decide that I wasn't so bad. Get it right or don't waste my time. The answer can't be different over time - if it is you have a real problem with your powers of logic.

Oh - and on the rare occasions where such a person has been wrong about me and acknowledged it and apologized I accept the apology and then proceed to read them the riot act to let them feel how their initial rejection made me feel. I guarantee that either that will make them stop doing it again or nothing will. I just did this with three members of the band I was in that accused me of all sorts of BS that they were secretly doing and projecting on me. Just when they thought they'd start the band up again I told them all to go to hell (after having acted coyly for about three weeks so I could get their hopes up to dash them on the rocks).

of course the answer can change over time-life changes over time-there have been people I've taken an instant dislike to who have later become my closest friends-you can't possibly know all the variables in any one person's situation-

Actually I can understand you want things to work that way and they seem to for you...but for ME, if a person has shunned me they have made their choice and I am not going to give them another chance. Get it right the first time, don't be a stupid person who judges before facts come in. See I can be judgmental because they have proven their unworthiness by changing allegiances and being wishy-washy. Right is right and wrong is wrong and never the twain shall meet.

I guess it all depends on the manner of the shunning. I met someone I became close friends with at work. He told me later that when he first saw me I scared the piss out of him. But he didn't act on that and didn't let the vision of me in a brown polyester uniform under fluorescent lights deter him from getting to know me. It sounds like what your bandmates did to you is a different sort of thing than a young woman being unsure of how she feels.

I'm being cautious about that this time, I don't want to scare her away by being too forward.

Is there a reason she's being coy you think?