Dying of Humiliation

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You've more courage than I could ever hope to have. I can't even look at the person that I like without immediately looking at the floor.

I'd beg to differ on that, I'm not a proponent of telling everyone how I feel about them. That would result in too much odd communication and several hurt feelings. Deep discussions about feelings should be relegated to friendships and romantic relationships that are a few months old. Mind you, I'm not trying to make whitetiger feel bad. Sometimes people don't really know how they feel or are just starting to have feelings and sometimes people get uncomfortable when they get pushed into a corner with somebody pouring their heart out and they don't really know how ot respond.

I wish whitetiger had come here first and asked for advice before she wrote the letter. There might have been a slightly different approach to get the desired result.

You know Granite, I wish I'd come here first too. I was impulsive and anxious. And I'm going to see him at the AS support group and social skills class too. We'll have to work this out some way, some day. My fear is that I won't even hear from him until the group time next week. That would cement in my mind that I've lost a potential good friend because of my impulsivity and letting my anxiety control my life.

God, I appreciate everyone's input on this! I was going batshit.

You might want to approach him before your group and explain to him exactly what you have explained to us, you were in a bit of a state and wrote that note without thinking. Both of you might have a good laugh over it and then can go back to being friends. (I hope)

You never knows what results something might have untill it's all over and you look at it from behind. You dared to take a chance, thumbs up to you.

Last edited by Silvervarg on 03 Sep 2009, 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No! No! No! That's like saying "I'm so sorry I slept with you last night - I was totally trashed or I would never have done that!" It puts the lie to everything you've already said and if you MEANT those things, don't take them back.

Some of the best friendships I've had in my life were with women I had HUGE crushes on initially, who (gently) rejected me romantically, but not socially. It was up to me to suck it up, get over it and decide that I had too much respect and admiration for this person to eject them from my life just because they didn't feel romantic chemistry for me. And on more than one occasion, they came to feel differently later.

Go back and reread what I wrote, I am not telling whitetiger to apologize at all or take anything back.

I'm saying, put the note in perspective.

You'd tell someone you care deeply about them, then laugh it off?

That would indicate insincerity; the same as saying "I didn't mean that!"

I've learned to get past feelings like that and retain a friendship, but those feelings don't cease to exist, and anyone who laughed about my having expressed them (even years later) would hurt me very badly.

Maybe I'm hypersensitive. Or maybe I'm taking the phrase too literally.

You aren't getting what I wrote at all.

SHOCKER!

He just wrote me back and called me sexy and beautiful. He says he is also just looking for friends right now though, since we both just got out of a relationship 2 wks ago. Cloud 9!

Cool! I'm glad things worked out for you.

Eeeeeeeee!

I'm glad it all worked out for you.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good for you!