Cocky/Funny

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Not by themselves. Maybe asserting the wrong things would make you creepy.

I read some of that guys e-mail newsletters a while back. One interesting thing he said was that women read body language around 10x more than men.

I guess that means women are closely watching and analyzing every move you make. Then they pretend to be laid back even though they're not.

I would go even further and say that most NT guys don't understand it period, let alone AS guys (I was just discussing this with an NT friend last night). The whole mind games approach (which being cocky-funny is) I think sends people in the wrong direction, when they might have had more success with a direct approach anyways. If you want a relationship, you have to attract your partner by showing YOUR good qualities, not by constantly trying to imitate DD. Sooner or later you have to be who you are... It takes more strength, manhood, "balls", whatever to be confident in who you are and what you have to offer than it does to do all this stuff you read on the internet. At the end of the day, a strong sense of courage and confidence in who you really are trumps all these parlor tricks.

Sounds like some fact he pulled out of his ass. DeAngelo is a hack.

It seems like a lot of women do that although "10x more than men" is probably an exaggeration.

I'd have to agree with the gist of this guy's idea, women seem to like it when you come right up to the edge of being an as*hole without quite going over. Its one of those things that I sort of stumbled onto on my own, everyone likes someone who's funny, but that touch of cockyness really seems to do it for (some) women. I particularly remember getting hit on hardcore in a bar one time because I was a little buzzed and winning at pool, and engaging in a little trash talking, I was shocked at how much this slight display of dominance seemed to affect the women in the bar's perceptions of me. It's really easy to overdo it though, so I would work on the funny part first, though a bit of swagger probably wouldn't hurt.

I feel I may have meant something slightly different by "understand". Understanding social interaction in the sense I meant it is the same as behaving in a way that intuitively seems right. Everyone has this to some extent, but my intuition may be defective compared to most people outside of the autistic spectrum. So I'm saying that people shouldn't do anything that doesn't seem right to them, just like they shouldn't re-tell a joke that they didn't find funny.

On the other hand, understanding why people interact in the way that they do is a much more difficult question that has not been thoroughly answered, to the best of my knowledge. I may feel I understand in a rudimentary sense why friendly teasing works, but not in any great detail, just to principles I myself find intuitive.


But why not have both?

Your right. I think a lot (but not all) women like a guy that is somewhere in between an as*hole and a nice guy. You give them just enough of both to keep them hooked, but you don't want to go too far either way, or they will get bored, or ticked off at you. You can pick on them and give them a hard time, but don't go so far as to completely offend them.

Is it a game? Of course it is. Will you find a good healthy, compatible relationship using this method? Most likely not, but you can have fun with it, though.

The tactics you use should vary as much as the prey you're hunting.

Cocky/funny works in your typical NT situation when you're surrounded by extroverts and need to distance yourself from the other suitors.

Going after different prey, such as those shy bookworm studious types - intellectual carries more weight.

Going after the artsy sensitive type, (e.g. music lovers, painters) require you to show an emotional side.

Know how and when to change up your tactics and you'll be a better hunter.

reading the other posts i'd prolly be an Arrogant as*hole, but i don't give a f*k, why cos my Aspergers causes me (maybe psychosis too) to come across as loud, arrogant and intimidating, but seriously i make smart jokes, it's not like im baggin em callin em a f*g or P**f or c*cks*ker like their "friends" do, i mean wtf