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Seanmw
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18 Oct 2009, 5:38 am

Ioini wrote:
I put up with couples kissing each other all the time, some couples are not afraid of what people might think of them holding hands in public. I do a certain look at them, I say to myself "How lucky they are". I envy them.

I want some solace, my family members are there for me, always will it's just that no one else out there really cares about me, until I prove myself!
i like the ninja avatarand the "can do" attitude.

hope you find what you're looking for. just remember you don't have to take proving yourself to far. and also remember not to go all perfectionist about it otherwise you'll never be satisfied. a person has to be mericful towards their self-standards sometimes :lol:


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PlatedDrake
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18 Oct 2009, 8:18 am

Seanmw wrote:
Ioini wrote:
I put up with couples kissing each other all the time, some couples are not afraid of what people might think of them holding hands in public. I do a certain look at them, I say to myself "How lucky they are". I envy them.

I want some solace, my family members are there for me, always will it's just that no one else out there really cares about me, until I prove myself!
i like the ninja avatarand the "can do" attitude.

hope you find what you're looking for. just remember you don't have to take proving yourself to far. and also remember not to go all perfectionist about it otherwise you'll never be satisfied. a person has to be mericful towards their self-standards sometimes :lol:


Another case of where reality destroys idealism. People have become extremely picky over the past 30 years . . . frankly, i prefer women that dont stand out much, but even still i wouldnt know how to ask them out without making myself look like an idiot, or interrupting them (most of the ones i feel attracted to I only see while they are working, and no, i dont mean strippers :P . . . never been to one of those clubs anyway).



pavel_filonov
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18 Oct 2009, 11:39 am

Cad wrote:
I hate being single, it sucks. It's not as sh** as being in a sh** relationship, but not far off. People say "why don't you go out there and find a bf?" But finding a random in the pub is different than finding someone who cares about you for more than sex. Most of my friends have long term partners and they sit around kissing each other etc and it makes me feel awkward and sh**. What does everyone else think about the single life?


I bet you'd find it a lot easier if your friends didn't behave like that. Tbh I worry a bit about people who are well past their teenage years and still feel the need to get intimate publicly - its so clingy and needy.

I became single again a few months ago. I loved it for a couple of months, just having so much freedom, being able to spend my free time exactly how i wanted. Now I'm a little bit bored of it but not enough to want to charge into anything. There are upsides and downsides of being single. For me, the upsides outweight the downsides, unless I've met someone I think is very, very special. I like to spend my downtime on my own.



Tim_Tex
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18 Oct 2009, 12:13 pm

It may suck to be single, but if you enter a relationship thinking it will be the end all be all of all mankind, then you will be wishing you were single again.


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gnosislogicemotion
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18 Oct 2009, 7:13 pm

Being single is my bane; it is anathema to me. It is now my singular purpose in life to find someone to love. The older I get, the stronger the longing grows in my heart to once again have that feeling of affection i've felt fleetingly in the past, for a mere total of perhaps 2 months in my 19 long, drudging years of life. The irony is that I am extremely ill-suited to find a partner because of my severe lack of instinctive social skills (just like the rest of us with AS). It doesn't matter how hard I try in every other area of my life. I'm still likely to end up dying alone, with no one to cuddle with :cry:

I know, super dramatic right? I just need to know: how do I go about meeting new women.....


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jackdumpster
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18 Oct 2009, 7:15 pm

I'll be 19 in november and still never had a real girlfriend/relationship. Yes, it does suck. Every day you wake up it follows you around in the back of your mind like a disease.



TheMidnightJudge
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18 Oct 2009, 11:40 pm

You can find love or even just sex, but really, unhappiness is a more profound issue. Love won't solve everything. And there are other ways to combat sadness. Other ways to have a fulfilling life.
At least that's what I tell myself on those sleepless nights...


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phil777
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18 Oct 2009, 11:55 pm

I'd rather be alone than be like those sheep. -.- At least when i die, i won't be bothering anyone. Or making them cry. Xcept my family, and that'll be enough. =/



Cad
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19 Oct 2009, 4:59 am

pavel_filonov wrote:
Cad wrote:
I hate being single, it sucks. It's not as sh** as being in a sh** relationship, but not far off. People say "why don't you go out there and find a bf?" But finding a random in the pub is different than finding someone who cares about you for more than sex. Most of my friends have long term partners and they sit around kissing each other etc and it makes me feel awkward and sh**. What does everyone else think about the single life?


I bet you'd find it a lot easier if your friends didn't behave like that. Tbh I worry a bit about people who are well past their teenage years and still feel the need to get intimate publicly - its so clingy and needy.

I became single again a few months ago. I loved it for a couple of months, just having so much freedom, being able to spend my free time exactly how i wanted. Now I'm a little bit bored of it but not enough to want to charge into anything. There are upsides and downsides of being single. For me, the upsides outweight the downsides, unless I've met someone I think is very, very special. I like to spend my downtime on my own.


I think I'm a bit like u, I enjoyed singledom for a few months, but it's been about 7 months now and it's waring thin. The thing is my life is fantastic, but rather lonely :( so i guess at least my whole life doesn't suck.



SirTwittThornwaite
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19 Oct 2009, 8:25 am

PlatedDrake wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
Ioini wrote:
I put up with couples kissing each other all the time, some couples are not afraid of what people might think of them holding hands in public. I do a certain look at them, I say to myself "How lucky they are". I envy them.

I want some solace, my family members are there for me, always will it's just that no one else out there really cares about me, until I prove myself!
i like the ninja avatarand the "can do" attitude.

hope you find what you're looking for. just remember you don't have to take proving yourself to far. and also remember not to go all perfectionist about it otherwise you'll never be satisfied. a person has to be mericful towards their self-standards sometimes :lol:


Another case of where reality destroys idealism. People have become extremely picky over
the past 30 years . . . frankly, i prefer women that dont stand out much, but even still i
wouldnt know how to ask them out without making myself look like an idiot, or interrupting
them (most of the ones i feel attracted to I only see while they are working, and no, i dont
mean strippers :P . . . never been to one of those clubs anyway).



A lot of NT women have become picky the last four decades because of emancipation/women's lib.



deadeyexx
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19 Oct 2009, 8:54 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
It may suck to be single, but if you enter a relationship thinking it will be the end all be all of all mankind, then you will be wishing you were single again.


Definately agree here. For someone to believe a relationship will solve all their problems, they've really got things backwards. Although a good relationship is nice, it comes with a lot of sacrifice & work that isn't for everyone.

Being single & being in a relationship (even a good one) come with thier own sets of benefits & drawbacks. Neither one is strictly better than the other; just different. However, I do find that the more I do one, the more I miss the other.

I see so much heartache about being single on this site, but I'll bet most of them don't realize how good they really have it.



Tim_Tex
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19 Oct 2009, 9:32 am

SirTwittThornwaite wrote:


A lot of NT women have become picky the last four decades because of emancipation/women's lib.


I thought emancipation/women's lib resulted in some being completely uninterested in relationships with anyone, not pickier.


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TheWeirdPig
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19 Oct 2009, 9:00 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
SirTwittThornwaite wrote:


A lot of NT women have become picky the last four decades because of emancipation/women's lib.


I thought emancipation/women's lib resulted in some being completely uninterested in relationships with anyone, not pickier.

I think women just have so many pressures these days that relationships sometimes take a back seat. Women should have their own lives outside of relationships, but that shouldn't stop them from having relationships. Good relationships are just hard to come by and they don't tend to be a priority for many.



david_42
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20 Oct 2009, 3:53 pm

Looking back over 40 years and four major relationships, I'll say that I'm happier in a relationship, but much more content when single.



Janissy
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20 Oct 2009, 4:51 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
SirTwittThornwaite wrote:


A lot of NT women have become picky the last four decades because of emancipation/women's lib.


I thought emancipation/women's lib resulted in some being completely uninterested in relationships with anyone, not pickier.


I'm going with "pickier". Back in the day, women had quite a bit of trouble being financially self supporting. Now, women can support themselves financially and so are not required to find a man to financially support them. Back in the day, all a man had to be was "a good provider" . If he was also a wife-beater, a cheater etc. oh well....Women had to put up with a lot of crap because the alternative was living the spinster life with their parents till they outlived their parents or trying to scrape by on a secretary's or maid's wages. Now no more. Now a woman can support herself and hence can be pickier, not having to settle for the first man who is willing to support her. That pickiness fades with age though as the biological clock ticks (for those who want children) and women find that although they can support themselves, they can't impregnate themselves and don't really want to raise a child all by themselves. Hence the pickiness of the 20's gives way to the less-pickiness of the 30's. With the fairly major caveat that women are willing to be less picky about some things (such as looks, which fade in importance with age) but more picky about suitability as a father. In the 30's is the time to shine for men of somewhat schlubby looks and/or social skills but only if they are ready for fatherhood.



Ligea_Seroua
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20 Oct 2009, 5:29 pm

And lets face it, the concept of "choosing" who you end up married to didn't exist in previous centuries. And in some cultures, arranged marriage is the norm. Some of us having to tolerate solitude is just the negative side of social freedom.


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