I can't find anyone I like :(

Post Reply New Topic

Try OkCupid.com - much better local results than Aspie Affection.

He has a point tho, the consequences of social ineptness is universal, if one fails to attract anyone for years in country A, then he/she's more likely to fail anywhere else.

Well, what would you suggest I do, then - kill myself?!

And no, I seriously doubt that's true. As a very tall and very smart girl, it's almost a given that I've failed so miserably in a country chock-full of short, ignorant people of mediocre intelligence. If I moved somewhere abroad, say, the Netherlands or Scandinavia - places populated by tall and educated folks - I'd probably do quite well, actually. I've got acquaintances online from all over Europe, and they've confirmed my theory. Americans, by and large, are mindless sheep, ffs.

The first one who has the same interests and religious beliefs wouldn't date me because I wasn't within 50 miles (I'm 120 miles away), and she wanted no burdens or inconveniences, and she expects to never have to give emotional support. Because I got upset about the distance issue, she acted as if I was emotionally unstable. And when I tried to discuss my feelings, she accused me of trying to manipulate her.

The second one was so desperate for attention from the opposite sex that she went back to her ex, who uses drugs and disrespects her, because she didn't want to wait for someone who wouldn't be f*cked up.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 25 Oct 2009, 7:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with SINsister. I have only been attracted to one person ever and that was a girl I dated very briefly in college. Other than that everyone I meet tends to range from annoying to repulsive. At this point I've come to terms that there is probably no one out there for me and have just decided to live my life. I would love to meet someone special, but it probably won't happen.

I only wish that I could look at that kind of living hell so rationally. In my case, I'm contemplating very bad/stupid/potentially-dangerous things, instead.

Better not contemplate it too hard, then.

What do you mean? Whether or not I follow through depends on whether or not I can work up the nerve (and the cash, etc.), not on how stupid/dangerous the premise is.

Like moving?

I decided to go to one of the active (non-dating) singles meetup groups in my area last night. After finishing hyperventilating over my decision, I went and had a fairly good time. No dating material showed up, but with 6 degrees of separation, maybe they'll lead to someone compatible with me.

That could be years down the road, at this rate, and I don't have that kind of time or patience. I'm at the edge of a cliff, at the moment. I can't do this for much longer.

Logic and rationality is all I have left. I use a combination of meditation and martial arts to keep myself centered. Every once in a while the loneliness gets to me and I go into a depression for a day or so but it works otherwise and as I get better at centering myself the depressions grow further apart.

I do hope you find your own path to salvation whatever that may be.

SIN, I'm in the same boat. Even if I've perhaps had a few dates under my belt, nothing seems to work, any girl that I'm physically attracted to there always seems to be some other problem of some sort.

My thought these days is this, and I even said this to one of my friends today. If I'm still unmarried and single, looking at permanent singlehood (mostly and quite sadly over gestalt confusion and my body language killing chemistry, little else), I will probably be one crazy-alpha individual.

My suggestion to you, same as my suggestion to myself. For the last few years and probably since I was 23 or 24 - my drug to chase away depression is ambition. I got a college degree, wasn't enough. Right now I've been on the weights for almost two years, been in martial arts for a year, dead set on learning another language (or a few if I can) as well as I can speak English, if I'm still single and achievements in those areas start running out of gas I'll probably start training for triathalons or aiming for whatever the heck else I need to in order to find a way to feel like I'm adding to my own real-estate value thus justifying my existence on this earth.

Even if this method has its pitfalls in that it can't deliver on one thread once goals have been hit or at least gone as far as they can, there are always new goals and with each new achievement you add under your belt it makes life a little more bearable. If I'm 50, still single, and making $200,000 per year, golfing at Hilton Head on the weekends, driving a Lotus Esprit around Sanibel and Captiva, hanging with some of the biggest somebodies out there and my NT friends are of such a caliber - I think I would have successfully displaced that hole in my life and any pangs of depression over not having it, I'd just remind myself like I even do now - there's reality, and then there's hypothetical reality, my life exists by set confines, set parameters, therefor I can't pound on my self for what isn't - I have to take what is, go forward from there, and make the absolute optimal with what I have.

I can count all the men i've truly liked on one hand, and none of them have been interested.

This is depressing.

Interesting options. In my book, they're both warped individuals. The first due to unrealistic expectations. The second due to internal insecurities. Warped doesn't equate to bad, just even if you were to get involved with either one, well, what you're seeing is simply the surface.

However, I don't find the world exclusively filled with these kind of women. Enhancing your attractiveness and broadening your options would seem to get you better opportunities (haha, yes I know, easier said than done!)

I make 6 figures and could golf at those places, but found it to emotionally be empty. Ambition doesn't have an end point.

Sounds like we're all in the same boat. Where is that special someone? My particular issues are:
1) Getting out to somewhere to meet people.
2) Noticing when a girl is flirting with me and doing appropriate things about it.

I bet everyone in this discussion has had dozens of potential possibilities yet didn't have a clue. How about if we talk about how to notice them and what to do about them?