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What are absolutely necessary requirements for an LTR?

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Danielismyname
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30 Oct 2009, 4:48 am

She has to be able to shoot and clean my gun.



ToadOfSteel
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30 Oct 2009, 6:22 am

Merle wrote:
The longest relationship I've had was about 7 years. In that time what was important:

1. Sex. It may be a physical expression, or be an emotional outlet. But if you're not getting any, it's not a fun relationship.
2. Communication. You gotta be able to joke, talk about things and be able to respect and accept the other person. These are all components in effective communication.
3. Compatible interests. If you can't share a few things in life, you're going to grow apart. Assume both of you are sleeping (8 hours) and working (8 hours), this leaves 33% of your time to do things together and grow together.
4. Trust. Trust that they care and love you. You may not know it, you may not feel it, but realize it's there.

Think back to the days of arranged marriages and today's matchmakers. I think if you can hit it off with the above 4, love will follow. Previously, marriage & love weren't in the equation and those relationships lasted quite a bit longer than those of today.


While I agree completely on 2-4, I'm not so sure about #1. There have been a lot of people (prevalent only in the southern US today, but occasionally still found elsewhere) that wait until marriage and are still able to find fun things to do that don't involve sex... In fact, I would say it's your ability as a couple to have fun without having sex that strengthens a relationship, and sex (especially if started too early in a relationship before both partners are ready for it) that destroys one.



Merle
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30 Oct 2009, 11:25 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Merle wrote:
1. Sex. It may be a physical expression, or be an emotional outlet. But if you're not getting any, it's not a fun relationship.


While I agree completely on 2-4, I'm not so sure about #1. There have been a lot of people (prevalent only in the southern US today, but occasionally still found elsewhere) that wait until marriage and are still able to find fun things to do that don't involve sex... In fact, I would say it's your ability as a couple to have fun without having sex that strengthens a relationship, and sex (especially if started too early in a relationship before both partners are ready for it) that destroys one.


Yeah, I know it's a touchy subject, with opinions on both sides. Plus I do realize that as we get older, it becomes less important (how often do we imagine 80 year old couples "get it on"?).

Here's my take: There's very little out there which equals the flexibility of the act of procreation practice.

If you're in it for a good exercise, there's sex. If you want to build up an emotional experience through the use of a date to mood, including music, candles, flowers, there's sex. If you're interested in blowing off stress (and for me, it's better than going to the range, hitting the dojo, autocross, 4x4'ng) there's sex. If you've just had a major fight, there's little expresses "We are okay, aren't we?", than sex. Sex with a pretty good is an ego boost. Sex with a stable partner allows you to open up.

Okay, there's a ton more analogies in there, but for me, sex has a lot of expressive nature built in. It can be modified (rough, loving, romantic) to fit the relationships/peronalities style. It's the ultimate build up to climax to epilogue.

You may not need it, but it is a definate plus in a relationship. Without it, a relationship isn't doomed but OMG is it tough.