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How to deal with being alone - permanently?

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Merle
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21 Dec 2009, 4:50 pm

Gearing up to be alone? Interesting...

First find things to kill time. Yes, computer stuff like WoW, arguing on the Internet and downloading porn will pass the time like no other. However, depending on your personality, you can be bored with those things in 6-12 months. Suggestion: Get into WoW and join a guild.

Next, figure out a relocation plan if you live in a city with a lot of people. The reminder of people will depress you. Your outlets of self-expression shouldn't require people to notice nor appreciate. Suggestion: Identify the weather you like and make plans to move.

Find a physical endeavor (yes, CP does limit you) but even simple wood working tasks, which will take longer, will serve their purpose. Especially if a subsequent reminder is created and remains. Suggestion: Create a shop (wood, auto, metal) and play around.



dddhgg
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21 Dec 2009, 6:12 pm

Merle wrote:
Gearing up to be alone? Interesting...

First find things to kill time. Yes, computer stuff like WoW, arguing on the Internet and downloading porn will pass the time like no other. However, depending on your personality, you can be bored with those things in 6-12 months. Suggestion: Get into WoW and join a guild.

Next, figure out a relocation plan if you live in a city with a lot of people. The reminder of people will depress you. Your outlets of self-expression shouldn't require people to notice nor appreciate. Suggestion: Identify the weather you like and make plans to move.

Find a physical endeavor (yes, CP does limit you) but even simple wood working tasks, which will take longer, will serve their purpose. Especially if a subsequent reminder is created and remains. Suggestion: Create a shop (wood, auto, metal) and play around.


Thanks mate, those are really useful pieces of advice. As for your second advice, I've just done that. I moved from my college town to one of the adjacent villages. A much more pleasant and quiet place, I should say. Does walking the dog for a couple of hours each day also fit your definition of physical endeavor? She's a real sweetheart by the way. Pic: http://www.cloudynights.com/ubbthreads/attachments/2520695-Foto%202008-07-15%2021-09-37.jpg.



Merle
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21 Dec 2009, 6:52 pm

dddhgg wrote:
Thanks mate, those are really useful pieces of advice. As for your second advice, I've just done that. I moved from my college town to one of the adjacent villages. A much more pleasant and quiet place, I should say. Does walking the dog for a couple of hours each day also fit your definition of physical endeavor? She's a real sweetheart by the way. Pic: http://www.cloudynights.com/ubbthreads/attachments/2520695-Foto%202008-07-15%2021-09-37.jpg.


Oh she's a beaut! I just looked and said out loud "Oh that's cute!". Yes, walking the dog definately counts!

Some days (like yesterday) I ski. Otherdays (like today) I just sit and watch the snow fall and the squirrels run around. A physical endeavor doesn't have to be done everyday, just enough to keep you active and get you moving for at least 30 min.



FaithHopeCheese
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22 Dec 2009, 1:41 pm

dddhgg wrote:
Merle wrote:
Gearing up to be alone? Interesting...

First find things to kill time. Yes, computer stuff like WoW, arguing on the Internet and downloading porn will pass the time like no other. However, depending on your personality, you can be bored with those things in 6-12 months. Suggestion: Get into WoW and join a guild.

Next, figure out a relocation plan if you live in a city with a lot of people. The reminder of people will depress you. Your outlets of self-expression shouldn't require people to notice nor appreciate. Suggestion: Identify the weather you like and make plans to move.

Find a physical endeavor (yes, CP does limit you) but even simple wood working tasks, which will take longer, will serve their purpose. Especially if a subsequent reminder is created and remains. Suggestion: Create a shop (wood, auto, metal) and play around.


Thanks mate, those are really useful pieces of advice. As for your second advice, I've just done that. I moved from my college town to one of the adjacent villages. A much more pleasant and quiet place, I should say. Does walking the dog for a couple of hours each day also fit your definition of physical endeavor? She's a real sweetheart by the way. Pic: http://www.cloudynights.com/ubbthreads/attachments/2520695-Foto%202008-07-15%2021-09-37.jpg.


I love your dog; she has a very face. Is she an afghan mix?



dddhgg
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22 Dec 2009, 3:10 pm

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I love your dog; she has a very face. Is she an afghan mix?


Thanks! No, she's not an Afghan mix, but a Silken Windhound (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silken_Windhound.) This is a relatively new breed, with Whippet and Borzoi ancestors.



FaithHopeCheese
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22 Dec 2009, 3:20 pm

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I love your dog; she has a very face. Is she an afghan mix?



Sorry, that should have said "very sweet face".

Anyway, thanks for the link - it's a beautiful dog. :)



Avarice
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25 Dec 2009, 7:29 pm

dddhgg wrote:
Thanks mate, those are really useful pieces of advice. As for your second advice, I've just done that. I moved from my college town to one of the adjacent villages. A much more pleasant and quiet place, I should say. Does walking the dog for a couple of hours each day also fit your definition of physical endeavor? She's a real sweetheart by the way. Pic: http://www.cloudynights.com/ubbthreads/attachments/2520695-Foto%202008-07-15%2021-09-37.jpg.


Walking your dog is always good, I do it and it allows me to contemplate life like nothing else does. But the sky has to look right, try walking your dog in the early morning just before the sun is up or at night just after it's gone down. But really, being alone shouldn't be something that you have to struggle with, be happy that you have the freedom to do anything you want anything you please, you make the rules.

Enjoy life, take up a hobby, read books.



richardbenson
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26 Dec 2009, 7:12 pm

i seem to wobble through life, sometimes i get down on myself and i think this is why i overcompensate with lame humor especially online :lol:

i dunno man, wish i had the answer so i could share it


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AspiRob
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29 Dec 2009, 6:01 am

Avarice wrote:
But really, being alone shouldn't be something that you have to struggle with, be happy that you have the freedom to do anything you want anything you please, you make the rules.

Enjoy life, take up a hobby, read books.


I tend to emply the above philosophy to my life as a single person. Given I am 43yo and have never had a date, it seems likely to me I will be single for life. Miracles do happen but I don't think I should depend on it. I agree with advice given here - you need to find things to do to take you mind off your situation or you will go nuts. I did nothing else in my younger years but obsess over my lack of a GF and it got me nothing but misery and depression. Now that I am older, I have filled my life with hobbies and pastimes so that I have less time to feel sorry for myself.

Regardless of this - nothing will ever truly subsitute for what anyone wants a partner for: to have one person who sees you as the most special person in the world. I have never known this feeling.


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