How many people here are polyamorous?

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I've always seen sex and love as separate
I've never thought of anyone I liked in any sexual situations
no idea why

Polyamorous people are actively involved in multiple long term relationships. There are deep feelings of attraction and respect. The focus is love and the relationship.

Swingers are generally interested in the sexual aspect of the relationship. Looks and feelings are present, but the sexual gratification is the primary focus.

Excellent. So it's a bonding relationship between more than 2 people. So in the decision later on in a successful polyamourous relationship between, say, 2 men and a woman, given it is decided to have them, how is it decided who "makes" the child/ren?

From what I've seen, both male partners simply have sex with the lady back to back, or one night after the other, and then when she gets pregnant, they don't do a DNA test, so they have no idea who the actual father is, and claim to both be fathers.

I can't have children...
so for me this is a null issue...

I have no interest in it.

I haven't been in a polyamorous relationship with another man and woman with an issue of child rearing. But "in my opinion" it would basically be if/when a child is born, both fathers take responsibility for the child. There is no one person who commits to making the child. The child is the product of the loving relationship and the biological parent is immaterial.

Crudely put, both men are having sex with the female, and there is no "try" for one parent or another. If there is a need for one male to be the biological parent (e.g. specific genetic material) then IVF is the best bet.

Well, J and I did kind of conspire to make sure that our second child would be his - I'd already fathered one before he came along, after all, so it only seemed fair. H was completely out of the loop, because it never occurred to her to compare calendar dates with which of us had had sex with her lately...

However, I love our son as much as J does, and as much as if I'd been his gene-father - after all, providing a genetic sample is mere siring; fatherhood also includes dirty diapers and 3am feedings and first steps (if any) and first words (if any) and providing encouragement and discipline and all that fun stuff. We are both of us Iain's father (although he's the one Iain refers to as "Daddy" ).

Wow...I envy your system.
I have run into a rough patch with my "other" partner not getting along with my partner who I live with..there was a stupid drunken confrontation that should not have had to happen, and I am really hoping that it blows over.
My main partner does a whole lot to provide stability and facilitate things, and I need for my other partner to forgive him for one stupid tantrum...when my other partner throws (AS-related) tantrums all the time. It has me all torn up right now.

this is my new favorite quote.

Wow, this makes complete sense to me. I feel like an idiot. The last person I had a crush on was a 'swinger'. I didn't really know what it meant. It means they just want to have sex with you. God I'm a moron. 'Cause looking back I can see there were all these hints that I didnt' realize that's what they were. They eventually gave up on me. I am not into casual sex. I got them confused with someone who likes you, like normal. Slapping myself in the forehead. Developmental disorder, indeed. Sigh.

My situation is the former. My partner and I have been together for 19 years (as of March 3). Our relationship started as a closed relationship, but over time it changed, and now we are in an open relationship. While our relationship is still our primary relationship, it is no longer the primary sexual relationship for either of us. I have one other sexual relationship, which has a significant emotional component. However, that does not supplant my partner as my primary relationship--he is the one I own the house with, share my life with, and with whom I identify as a couple.

I have no interest in polyamory,
but I think I might be polyamorous...

While the thought of having a polyamourous relationship is entertaing, in actuality I don't think I could handle it.

One seems like enough of a lot of work.

There was a point in my life that I entertained the notion. However, upon actually thinking about it, I came to the same conclusion as MC (I've never actually experimented with it). Honestly, though, I would much rather find one partner who is also my best friend and find some land way out in the country and have the mountains and birds to keep us company. And, like many here, I have always felt a much stronger bond of consanguinuity with natural things than with others of my own species.

I'm not in a one but at this moment i'm going through going back with my ex, for some reason, I have this suspicious feeling that i'm in a hidden poly relationship It wouldn't be my wish either.