Have you ever had a partner who wouldn't read about AS?

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Maggiedoll
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10 Jan 2010, 10:16 pm

Kris doesn't read about it.. he just listens to me babble about it.

lewdi28792
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11 Jan 2010, 12:48 am

eck wrote:

Asp-Z wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Asp-Z wrote:

But NTs will never understand us really, and most don't even bother trying. That's why I prefer going out with Aspies. Plus, most NTs (especially the stupid idiots that make up the majority of girls my age) would probably just act like I have a disease or something.

About your literal thing, it seems that NTs who change their language for our benefit are virtually non-existant, unless they are some sort of careworkers or something who are paid to act so exagurated that it's patronising.

Granted, I am not a college kid out there for a good time before I have kids - but I do practice changing my language all the time.

I didn't realize in what way my desired future husdband was different from me until too late. After a slow, perfect beginning I found that his behavior became mean and abusive and he probably found mine the same. Now I have read books about AS and reevaluated everything we said or didn't say to each other. I suppose you could say it's my special interest. To the point of neglecting my jobs and friends, I hang out here to learn more and I practice talking with him in my head. I try to be literal and leave nothing open to interpretation, try to fliter out my unspoken expectations.

Just in case I ever get a chance to talk with him again...

if it was me - i would prefer a female aspie who also has epilepsy - with her also being an aspie with a seizure condition(epilepsy) - then we would both be in the exact same boat and it would be so much easier for us to relate.

Wayne
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13 Jan 2010, 2:15 pm

It just so happens that I got a couple of books from the library, and I asked my wife if she was going to read any of it.

She said "No, I just watch our son". End of discussion. She's not much of a reader.

She has shown a touching willingness to explicitly verbalize stuff with me, though, so I think I'll keep her

Spokane_Girl

13 Jan 2010, 2:41 pm

Wayne wrote:

Are you on the ASD Relationship board?

Wayne
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13 Jan 2010, 2:44 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Are you on the ASD Relationship board?

You mean http://asdrelationships.freeforums.org/ ?

If so, yes.

Spokane_Girl

13 Jan 2010, 2:48 pm

Wayne wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Are you on the ASD Relationship board?

You mean http://asdrelationships.freeforums.org/ ?

If so, yes.

Yeah. You probably know who I am there.

Ishtara
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16 Jan 2010, 1:11 pm

My boyfriend hasn't read anything on it, and I'm not sure how much he knows. His exact words were "why would giving you a label change who you are to me?". But then, he accepted my odd behaviour before I had a term for it myself. If I need something of him, such as to use less sarcasm or to speak to someone on my behalf, I ask it and he does so without question. He seems to innately know when I'm approaching a meltdown -- like today, when the animal shelter decided to treat me like a second-class citizen because I rent my house rather then own it -- and will get me away from the stressful situation.

HopeGrows
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16 Jan 2010, 6:14 pm

Can anyone recommend a good reference about AS? I asked the Aspie I dated if he knew of a good reference, but surprisingly, he couldn't provide one. I've got a business trip coming up in the next few weeks (a few long flights involved), so I woudn't mind having something interesting to read....and perhaps gain a little insight into AS. We had some problems related to AS, but there were plenty of other issues as well - I wouldn't mind understanding it better than I do now.

Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 6:26 pm

I bugged my husband for years to read about it but he never did. He has some aspie traits in his home life, but outside of that he is very NT. He is so NT, everyone loves him. He knows everything about everything it seems. He is like my brother. I hate him and love him, but overall, he doens't get into me enough to read up it. I'm normal in his eyes and that is why I love him.

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Spokane_Girl

16 Jan 2010, 7:12 pm

HopeGrows wrote:

Pretending to Be Normal
Quirky Yes Hopeless No
Mozart and the Whale
The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome (I heard that was a good book)

Just go to any library and check out any book on AS you see.

Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 7:17 pm

You forgot, "Benny and Joon".

Spokane_Girl

16 Jan 2010, 8:01 pm

That's not about AS.

Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 8:02 pm

What's it about then?

Spokane_Girl

16 Jan 2010, 9:21 pm

Joon who has a mental illness and is being cared for by her older brother who is over protective. She can't be left alone because then she does disturbing things like directing traffic, lights things on fire, but she paints and reads. She gets watched by a housekeeper while Benny is at work but she has scared every one of them off with her violent outbursts. So one day at the poker game, Benny is talking with his friend Eric while Joon is inside and Benny and Eric fail to come inside and play the game so Joon joins. Mike, one of the poker buddies, puts his cousin Sam in the pot and Joon loses and has to take him home. Sam is eccentric, shy, outcast, obsessed with old movies and Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. He does all these silent movie acts and he falls in love with Joon and she falls in love with him. But Benny finds out they are in a relationship and feels threatened by it.

Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 9:45 pm

Wow, that is messed up...

Spokane_Girl

16 Jan 2010, 9:48 pm

Magnus wrote:

Wow, that is messed up...

What was messed up?

Betting the cousin or feeling threatened by his sister's relationship? Joon lighting things on fire and directing traffic or her violent outbursts? Sam being eccentric or all of the above?

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