a theory about jerks and the friendzone

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I guess I'm lucky that I like older women (older meaning late 20s to late 30s.) A lot of older women have "been there, done that" as far as the muscular jerk type, and are just looking for a good looking guy that doesn't play games. There are exceptions...my 40 year old cousin, who until recently was very attractive, has always liked jerks in uniform. (I'm not saying all men in uniform are jerks, I'm saying that the men she dates/marries are jerks)...and she's never got over the "bad boy" thing, but I suspect a lot of that is low self-esteem on her part. But for the most part, women have grown up by their 30s. Not sure what age you're targeting, but 18-24ish, women still want the studmuffin even at the cost of him treating her like crap.

Yea I dunno 22-28 I guess? The way I see it I'm way too immature to be taken seriously by women older than that, and on the low end most are way too immature to be taken seriously by me.

I'm hardly in a rush. My eyes are always peeled per se, but realistically, being in grad school I'd almost need somebody who was in the same boat who could comprehend how truly little time I have for something like a "relationship". Just making friends and/or chasing random girls on friday nights is not ideal in the scheme of things, but right now logistically it's way easier than the alternative.

That first link, with the stuff about women wanting their guys to talk about feelings and whatnot, had me laughing in disbelief. Well, not disbelief exactly, 'cause I know I'm weird, but...

I can't speak for anyone except myself, but that is 100% NOT me. This comment, in particular, is something that I cannot relate to on any level whatsoever.

I can't imagine trying to sustain a relationship with someone who needs to be yammering on incessantly. If I'm "quiet" it simply means I'm not talking. There's no hidden meaning. It's the same with my husband. Once in a while, we'll be sitting together, each doing our own thing, and I realize I haven't spoken to him in a hour or so. Just as a friendly gesture, I might ask, "How are you doing, sweety?" Or possibly, if he appears to be deep in thought, I might ask, "What are you thinking?" If I ask that, I know the answer is probably going to be something like, "I was just wondering how many of the Tara King Avengers episodes contained a scene with a milk float.., and if so, was it the same milk float in each episode?"

I feel sorry for men if their female partners typically are pressuring them to talk about their feelings all the time. If my husband has something he needs to share with me, I assume he'll share it. Otherwise, not.

It works for us.