Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Fallen in love with another aspie, but struggling

Page 2 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

KnightGhost
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 93
Location: Idaho

26 Feb 2010, 8:53 am

Lene wrote:
KnightGhost wrote:
Told her. She also said she feels the same for me, but split between 2 guys. Will see where it goes.


That's great news! But does that mean she plans on dating both of you, or that she just needs time to decide?

Both.



Taupey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.

28 Feb 2010, 11:02 pm

KnightGhost wrote:
Lene wrote:
KnightGhost wrote:
Told her. She also said she feels the same for me, but split between 2 guys. Will see where it goes.


That's great news! But does that mean she plans on dating both of you, or that she just needs time to decide?

Both.


I believe, if you lived closer to one another your relationship would have a better chance.

It seems as though you both are waiting for the other one to make the first compromise. Her ending her relationship with this man. And you quiting your job and moving to her location. But you really would rather have her relocate to where you live because of your job. It appears to be a stalemate. You both should discuss this (if you haven't already) and decide if you really want to commit to your relationship and make the necessary compromises so you can be together. Maybe you can work out trial arrangements to be together in both locations to see what works. I wish you both the best. Please let us know how it goes.

Taupey



KnightGhost
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 93
Location: Idaho

01 Mar 2010, 8:44 am

Taupey wrote:
KnightGhost wrote:
Lene wrote:
KnightGhost wrote:
Told her. She also said she feels the same for me, but split between 2 guys. Will see where it goes.


That's great news! But does that mean she plans on dating both of you, or that she just needs time to decide?

Both.


I believe, if you lived closer to one another your relationship would have a better chance.

It seems as though you both are waiting for the other one to make the first compromise. Her ending her relationship with this man. And you quiting your job and moving to her location. But you really would rather have her relocate to where you live because of your job. It appears to be a stalemate. You both should discuss this (if you haven't already) and decide if you really want to commit to your relationship and make the necessary compromises so you can be together. Maybe you can work out trial arrangements to be together in both locations to see what works. I wish you both the best. Please let us know how it goes.

Taupey

Working on a trial arrangement at the moment. Problem is that I can't find a job there, even one that pays half of what I make now. Working on compromises...



Taupey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.

01 Mar 2010, 4:22 pm

KnightGhost wrote:
Taupey wrote:
KnightGhost wrote:
Lene wrote:
KnightGhost wrote:
Told her. She also said she feels the same for me, but split between 2 guys. Will see where it goes.


That's great news! But does that mean she plans on dating both of you, or that she just needs time to decide?

Both.


I believe, if you lived closer to one another your relationship would have a better chance.

It seems as though you both are waiting for the other one to make the first compromise. Her ending her relationship with this man. And you quiting your job and moving to her location. But you really would rather have her relocate to where you live because of your job. It appears to be a stalemate. You both should discuss this (if you haven't already) and decide if you really want to commit to your relationship and make the necessary compromises so you can be together. Maybe you can work out trial arrangements to be together in both locations to see what works. I wish you both the best. Please let us know how it goes.

Taupey

Working on a trial arrangement at the moment. Problem is that I can't find a job there, even one that pays half of what I make now. Working on compromises...


That's great that you both are moving along. Is it possible an arrangement can be made where you will pay for her move to where you live and work and also back to her original location if it doesn't work out? I'm in a long distance relationship but we aren't as far along as you and your girlfriend are. It would feel strange to have someone paying all of my expenses but that maybe because I'm not use to it, I've been independent for so long. And I don't have the expense of children either.



KnightGhost
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 93
Location: Idaho

01 Mar 2010, 7:47 pm

Cost isn't a problem, I make 6 figures. May even have a 2nd house there and see how it goes.



Taupey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.

01 Mar 2010, 9:10 pm

KnightGhost wrote:
Cost isn't a problem, I make 6 figures. May even have a 2nd house there and see how it goes.


That sounds like a great idea! :)



KnightGhost
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 93
Location: Idaho

16 Mar 2010, 10:42 pm

Epic Failure. An Aspie simply can't compete against a Player, especially when distance is involved.



Sound
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 746
Location: Seattle

16 Mar 2010, 11:33 pm

Ugh.... sorry to hear. What happened?



Taupey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.

17 Mar 2010, 12:02 am

KnightGhost wrote:
Epic Failure. An Aspie simply can't compete against a Player, especially when distance is involved.


I'm sorry to hear that Knight Ghost. :(



Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,452
Location: East China Sea

17 Mar 2010, 7:43 am

KnightGhost wrote:
Epic Failure. An Aspie simply can't compete against a Player, especially when distance is involved.


Sorry to hear that. Better luck next time!



Aspiewifey
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 64

20 Mar 2010, 3:10 am

Ad wrote:
Just explain to her about her aspergers and tell her not to date him because he's an NT and they use people and manipulate them and bully us.


Wow. Way to effectively cut yourself off from a HUGE pool of potential partners and friends.