Should I stay with a guy who won't marry me?

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This sounds to me like a friends with benefits relationship. It really comes down to what you want out of the relationship. I see this personally as the both of you using each other because it is convenient. Personally, I think you can do better than this. I also think that this is the best situation that you will get without the intention to marry. I will say this: If he or you are treating each other badly, then both of you should agree to get out of the relationship and try to part as friends. If he can't accept you as a friend (without the sex part), then you don't need him.

As a side note, this is the reason why I can't do the friends with benefit thing. I'm a one woman man, and I eventually would want to marry a woman. But to each his or her own. Best of luck to whatever you do.

He keeps making comments about plans for summer though, so I think that he wants us to be together for awhile. Then he'll say things like "I could spend the rest of my life like this"... but that's only ever when we're naked together.

I just don't know how to read him.

You haven't had intercourse with him yet, right? He wants to be the one to pop your cherry and is being very patient about it. Watch out.

Well OP, guys tend to say a lot of crazy shiz when they're naked with a woman, so I wouldn't exactly put a lot of stock in those comments.

I guess what's surprising about this thread is that you've given up all of your power when it comes to this relationship. You've chosen to have a casual, sexual relationship with a man whom you don't view as having much long-term potential. Why do you equate that to being "used" for sex? You are a consenting adult, after all. If you don't want to engage in sexual activity with him, then don't.

Why are you upset because he's stated the obvious - that you're not "after him" to get married? You're not after him to get married, are you? I'm assuming that if you don't believe in marriage, you'd never be after anyone to get married. You act as though the longevity of the relationship is entirely up to him. He can make all the plans he wants to for the summer - it doesn't mean you'll just have to go along with whatever he plans, right?

So take back your power. If you want to know his perspective on the relationship, why don't you ask him? Better yet, why don't you figure out what it is that you want, so that you can tell him? If you're not satisfied with the relationship, end it. Staying in a relationship with the wrong person is far worse than being alone...and this might be a good time to remind you that people often get the partner they settle for. If you don't want him, don't settle.

That is easy for maybe an Aspie to say - or a neurotypical. But for more severely disabled Autistics, for whom there are no adult Autism supports or services WE can direct, it is far more difficult due to the assistance aspects.

Also, I missed whatever the controversy is, but I will say:
1.) I believe in marriage; and
2.) No man would get me to give him access to my private life who was such a loser he couldn't or wouldn't step up the the plate in terms of marriage.

But that's me. Maybe others settle for less, as happens all too frequently for adults on the Autism spectrum. Almost inevitable given the appx. 96 % unemployment rate and all the states cutting needed benefits.

He's a shallow uckfay.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. We were talking on the phone tonight (because he gets upset when I don't call him everyday... the baby) and I mentioned feeling a little sick.

Him: Well I care about you. You're my friend.
Me: ...just your friend?
Him: Hm?
Me: *hangs up*

And I'm never calling him again.

I'm also done with relationships. f**k them.

Oh, and it'd be hilarious if he had been waiting around for the chance to "deflower" me because he's not going to get to. HA!

Ugh, I had an ex bf who used to refer to me as a 'friend' too. It's really demoralising.

Don't give up on relationships, just this guy.

quoted for truth! you will find soemone much better who makes you happy

If he refuses to marry anyone who isn't Catholic, he wants to get married. If he doesn't want to marry you, he is not interested in anything long-term. If this is a fling, that's okay. If you want to stay with him, he clearly doesn't want to stay with you.

Well I already said when we were still dating (at least when I assumed we were dating) that after this one ended, I wouldn't pursue another one. These things are just a pain in the ass. I can't even sleep when they're going on and I can't work at all.

Dont give in and go back to that loser.

He is a user and you should not feel you need to be there to stop him being bored. You're worth more than that.

Look at it this way: "If" you even have to ask that question, do NOT stay with him! It will hurt at first and be rather lonely but when he marries someone else, now THAT is going to really hurt. By leaving him, you have the control and you're open for a "real" romance that will lead to a committment. This happened to me. I have a happy marriage today because I took that step. Some really bad guy wanted to continue to see me even after he married another girl! He married her only after knowing her for a few months. He was with me for more than 5 years. AND he cheated on me numerous times during that five years. Here's the bad part: I actually considered it. I was so WEAK. But therapy helped me. That's why I went to therapy because I actually considered it. I KNEW for a fact that something HAD to be wrong with me for considering such a LOWLY act. I was alone but with sporactic dates for seven years after.
Always with therapy in between. I had NO sex with any of them which kept me grounded. I just took the liberty of really getting to know them and to be treated "for once" to a good time like the movies, dinner, and to sadly mention....Atlantic City. But that date of ACTUALLY left me stranded so he could go get a hooker. Nonetheless, I had to call another male friend to come and pick me up. But I went on that date against my instinct not to. My therapist told me to follow my instinct at all times and never second guess myself. The other "good" dates were arranged through elderly co-workers. I liked them all but they had no "zap"! I was lucky because none called for a second date so I didn't have the burden of guilt for not wanting to see them again. Plus these ladies competed with each other as to who's son and/or grandson I liked best! It was hilarious.