so how do you ask a girl out???

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How can you like someone when you only know their name?

Oh come now, you haven't forgotten those hormone-charged college years yet, have you

And if you're being serious rather than snarky, let me say that direct observation of someone's behavior can easily show you if they are aggressive, shy, mean, nice, popular or unpopular without EVER knowing their name.

Examples for your consideration:
The bully's little toady friend punching me at the moment: I don't like.
The shy, kind girl who asks very intelligent questions in class: Like.

So that's how.

Do you think the girl is an Aspie too? If so, you may want to focus on being somewhat honest. I dislike it when guys use pretense to try and "get" me, because I feel betrayed when the person suddenly comes out after several innocent "non-dates" like the ones some people described above, and try to kiss me or something, when I never would have even hung out with them if I knew they were romantically inclined.

Smile at her, say hello, and don't be afraid to offer a non-threatening compliment, like on a comment she made in class or something like that, so she knows you like her without being overly obvious. Hormones are as powerful for girls at your age as they are for guys, so she will know if she likes you or not pretty quickly. If she responds in a happy way, wait a day or so to let her collect her thoughts, and then be honest and tell her you'd like to get to know her better and hang out after school or something. I know that's really hard for anyone, but honestly as an Aspie female, I don't get "hints" and don't like being "tricked" into dating people, which is how I feel when it happens.

Plus, the date itself doesn't have to be so serious or romantic, as long as your intentions are clear, anything from studying to having a cup of coffee qualifies.

However, if the girl is NT, I have no advice to offer, I do not understand NT women.

Good luck, you seem sweet. And also, even if this one doesn't work out, don't lose heart, because it is good practice, and there are plenty more out there

I was serious.

Even when I was a teenager I had to know something besides their name to like a person.

Information gained from direct observation means that you know a lot more than just a person's name.

[quote="Homer_Bob"]The asking out game has always been a mystery to me. If I were you, I'd wait to see if she mentions a boyfriend; if shes does you're out. Perhaps you want to get to know her first to see if you know enough about her before deciding if she is worth asking out. Just remember that girls send mixed signals so be careful. I've been hit on and flirted by girls with boyfriends more times then I'd like to be.[/quote]


why do gilrs do this? isnt it a bit unfaithful to their boyfreinds? and imagine how he would feel if he knew his gf was flirting with other boys! it would upset me

Some women enjoy flirting as an end in itself, which is why they do it, often under the misapprehension that the other people involved see it as just a bit of fun.

A lot of people flirt for "fun," not just girls. I had an ex-boyfriend who constantly flirted (compliments on their appearance, casual touching) with other girls out of boredom or habit, while he was dating me, and it made me very upset. He claimed not to mind if I flirted with other people myself, but I categorically never flirt when in a relationship, so it was moot.

Also, what you consider flirting might not be flirting to someone else. I was once accused of flirting because I sent a photo to a male friend, of me wearing a t-shirt with a funny cartoon on it because I thought he'd find it funny. Apparently he thought I was trying to make him look at my breasts (but I am not busty and never think about things like that anyway - that's HIS perverted mind, not me flirting). I do not talk to him anymore, lest he misinterpret anything else.

So, just saying, you can't always claim to know other people's intentions or what they mean by their behavior. Sometimes I think people see what they want to see (oh this girl is flirting with me!), instead of taking things at face value (she's just being herself/being nice/living life). Just thoughts.

Interpretation of possible-flirting is a minefield, it's true. People are highly various in how freely they relate, behave, and flirt, etc. And equally various on what they feel is 'okay'. There's little clarity to be had here.

Were it me, I'd assume it's flirting, or at least that the other person is receptive to that kind of talk & behavior, up to a certain limited point. This is where one really needs to have an idea of what is and is not acceptable though. Thus, a minefield.

The other way of thinking about it is to ignore it unless it's overt. If you consider the prior viewpoint a mistake, then this one is equally so, as many people flirt subtly and expect the other person to pick up on it. So if one does not act on subtle flirting, the other person will assume lack of interest and move on/close off.

Flirting just might be the most subtle and delicate social behavior in existence. ><

However, there's ways to cushion potential misunderstandings... You'll notice some people 'get away with' stuff that others wouldn't. It's because of the personality they've come to exude. People are led to expect a kind of behavior from the person, and somehow end up more accepting of it. And they know how to play it off, for example by not acknowledging that they did something wrong (continuing to smile and mess around despite being rebuked, etc).

In contrast, there's the kind of person who apologizes for everything they do, has trouble looking people in the eye, who easily absorbs the emotions implied upon them by others(feeling guilty when others exude anger toward them, etc). Those people have a harder time flirting, and can't 'get away with' much. That inability to flirt easily is one of the biggest disadvantages introverted people tend to often possess.... Sad but true...

On a side note, I think waiting to find out whether the girl has a boyfriend is a bad idea. It's an excuse to hesitate, which we introverts tend to grossly abuse. Furthermore, if she has a boyfriend who you do not know and aren't sure exists, it is irrelevant. If things progress romantically, then it means either:
A) her existing relationship isn't very good, and should probably end,
B) she has little self-control, or little care for others (And you'll figure that out just about immediately)
C) shes poly-amorous,
D) she does not believe she has a boyfriend.

A couple years ago, I used to be of the mindset that women with a boyfriend were off limits, but I changed my mind. Relationships are meant to fail, most of the time. It's like the scientific method, where theories must be poked and prodded, and the ones that hold true are the ones that resist all assault. The ones that falter beneath it should be let go of.

That said, if I know both people, that would constitute eating where you s**t. So that's obviously a no-go.

What ever you do, don't ask her to come over to see your weasel, I fell for that with
my boyfriend, I was so disappointed when he was actually talking about his ferret

Am I missing something here?

Bahahh! I love it.

Too funny

Ask her how much she charges by the hour.

I've had luck, but it just worked out. I let nature take it's course.

Hehe, care to elaborate? Not easy to learn much from that simple phrase.

umm she said hi to me a couple times today, but failed again to ask her to do something together. The thing is i dont know what to say, any ideaS?