Not sure what I want

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I think they were referring to finding an Aspie (numbers game), rather than the issues that come with AS.

I have dated an NT once, but it was a disaster. Sure there will be pitfalls with an AS-AS relationship, but at least someone on the spectrum will let you know how they feel, and not expect you to read their mind.

I dont think your list is unreasonable at all, the old one was a little far fetched, but this one is attainable Im sure. Good for you for setting more realistic criteria that actually matters in a relationship.

The thing is, all NTs aren't the same. Some take being 'normal' to the extremes while others just seem to be missing a label. You can't write off all NTs just because things didn't go well with one.

Honestly after my first relationship (where yes I did seem to be expected to just magically know things) I pretty much decided that maybe I wasn't suited to being in a relationship at all. A couple of years later I somehow ended up in a relationship again, and this time it works. Both guys were NT, yet one demanded unrealistic things from me, and the other just knows how to communicate with words.

ONE NT does not make for a very reliable statistical analysis. You could date one Aspie and there is always the potential that it will be an even bigger disaster than the one with the NT. You are still trying to pigeonhole woman into rigid categories. We all have a general guideline of what we seek in a partner but guidelines are flexible. You still don't seem to get it. NT's come in all kinds of varieties. The problem is that you are STILL trying to use rigid criteria in the false hope that it will create this instant, perfect relationship. Sorry Tim, that's not how relationships work. They are fluid and in many ways unpredictable. Without a greater degree of flexibility than you are allowing yourself, you will continue to fail.

Thanks!

Tim, An aspie woman with those traits who falls in love with you will be impossible to find unless you try to make yourself attractive to women.

I'm not trying to be awful, Im just telling you that someone with those traits.... has a HUGE choice of men who will be interested in them. You have to make yourself stand out.

How do I do that?

Fix your style. Get a haircut. Shave. Get a better pair of glasses. Exercise.

What kind of haircut, my hair is already short.

What kind of style?

I already shave and exercise.

Style is completely up to you. That's the great thing about style. There's something for everyone. And people, like it or not, judge a person by the clothes they have on. For example, someone wearing jogging pants and a t shirt or walmart jeans and a t shirt is telling the world "I don't care about my appearance." Getting a shirt that stands out (in a good way) and is suited for you, and getting a nice pair of pants, even a nice pair of jeans, tells the world "Well I care." You'll also start to walk around with more confidence.

Haircut...I'm just judging by the pic, but the short on the sides, poofy on top has been out since the 90s. Your hair is kind of like mine, except mine is curlier. If you wanted, you could get a wiffle like the one I have in my football pic. We have similar hair so I'm sure you could pull it off.

I thought Aspies didn't care about fashion or trends.

That's your problem Tim, categorizing everything and trying to fit everything into a neat stereotype.

What we're saying is, even your new criteria, while reasonable, is still asking a lot. Women, NT, Aspie, doesn't matter, have their choice of any guy they want. The kind of woman you want, whether she's Aspie or an NT with aspie traits, is likely going to care about her appearance.

I'm not saying to spend thousands of dollars on clothes and get 100 dollar haircuts. You could just go to your local outlet store and fit a nice outfit that you like, and go to the local Supercuts and tell them you want a change.

I'm guessing you don't want a physically unattractive woman. In the past you've said you like Jessica Rabbit types. Well they want a guy, even if he isn't great looking, that takes care of himself.

I do wear khaki pants and polo shirts as well, and have some nice shoes. I try to have haircuts that are professional-looking.

Polo shirts are extremely unattractive.

I could help make you over.. not to change you, but to find a style that is you but a lot more attractive than what you portray now.

Ok, I am up to the challenge.

Ok then, I will make a new thread soon.