How do you behave/react when you have a 'crush'?

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jawbrodt
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27 Feb 2010, 9:23 pm

HopeGrows wrote:
^And what have we learned from those missed opportunities, Mister? Life is short - take a shot. I actually made "the first move" with the last guy I was involved with. It didn't end well, but it worked out for a while (well enough that I still tend to miss what it felt like when it did work between us). Even with the tears and the heartbreak, I don't regret taking the risk and putting myself out there. What if he'd been the one? I would have never known if I hadn't mustered the nerve to tell him how I felt, right? :wink:



I can't argue with that. :chin: Hmm...I have another idea....How about if I just change my signature to something like "Hey gals, I'm a chickenshit so i probably won't ever ask you out, so if you're interested, contact me first, and then if we hit it off there's a good chance we'll fall in love, and we'll both get laid." Classy, eh? :P

*is a budding Casanova* :lol:


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27 Feb 2010, 10:31 pm

jawbrodt wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
^And what have we learned from those missed opportunities, Mister? Life is short - take a shot. I actually made "the first move" with the last guy I was involved with. It didn't end well, but it worked out for a while (well enough that I still tend to miss what it felt like when it did work between us). Even with the tears and the heartbreak, I don't regret taking the risk and putting myself out there. What if he'd been the one? I would have never known if I hadn't mustered the nerve to tell him how I felt, right? :wink:



I can't argue with that. :chin: Hmm...I have another idea....How about if I just change my signature to something like "Hey gals, I'm a chickenshit so i probably won't ever ask you out, so if you're interested, contact me first, and then if we hit it off there's a good chance we'll fall in love, and we'll both get laid." Classy, eh? :P

*is a budding Casanova* :lol:


What if getting laid is not on the agenda?



HopeGrows
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27 Feb 2010, 10:39 pm

jawbrodt wrote:
I can't argue with that. :chin: Hmm...I have another idea....How about if I just change my signature to something like "Hey gals, I'm a chickenshit so i probably won't ever ask you out, so if you're interested, contact me first, and then if we hit it off there's a good chance we'll fall in love, and we'll both get laid." Classy, eh? :P

*is a budding Casanova* :lol:


Hmmm.....are you sure the signature isn't too subtle? Don't sugar-coat it stud, tell the ladies what's in for them....how about, "Hey Ladies, interested in hour long orgasms and near slave-like devotion - all on super convenient Eastern Standard Time?" :lol:


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jawbrodt
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27 Feb 2010, 11:55 pm

^Not bad. Could use a few tweaks, but not bad at all. Accurate too. :P


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jawbrodt
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27 Feb 2010, 11:58 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
jawbrodt wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
^And what have we learned from those missed opportunities, Mister? Life is short - take a shot. I actually made "the first move" with the last guy I was involved with. It didn't end well, but it worked out for a while (well enough that I still tend to miss what it felt like when it did work between us). Even with the tears and the heartbreak, I don't regret taking the risk and putting myself out there. What if he'd been the one? I would have never known if I hadn't mustered the nerve to tell him how I felt, right? :wink:



I can't argue with that. :chin: Hmm...I have another idea....How about if I just change my signature to something like "Hey gals, I'm a chickenshit so i probably won't ever ask you out, so if you're interested, contact me first, and then if we hit it off there's a good chance we'll fall in love, and we'll both get laid." Classy, eh? :P

*is a budding Casanova* :lol:


What if getting laid is not on the agenda?



Hmmm, well....you probably wouldn't get as many replies as i would, because gals like sex too. :P


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HopeGrows
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28 Feb 2010, 1:30 am

jawbrodt wrote:
Hmmm, well....you probably wouldn't get as many replies as i would, because gals like sex too. :P


Sorry, dude....I wish you would have said, "....because gals like the sex too." It's late and I'm a little punchy, but I swear I'm cracking myself up. :lol:


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28 Feb 2010, 1:41 am

I'm a bit obsessive about my limerince as well. I find its usually the voice more then anything that draws me in, I just find certain tones intoxicating. Which makes it all the more terrifying to talk to whoever said person is.
My immediate desire is to obtain more information and yet on another level I'm just sort of afraid of finding out this person is quite normal and as a result would find me and my inordinately focused life boring.


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28 Feb 2010, 5:15 am

leighsa wrote:
everything everyone just said is so me it's scary. It is so weird how the label of my diagnosis can be used to properly predict how I''m going to act in any given situation. I didn't realize *this* was a manifestation of Asperger's too.
completely random, but i like puzzles & saw your screenname, it suddenly looked like a part of a jumbled name to me.

the last 3 letters read backward read, "ash"
& re-utilizing the "h" (which seems like a hinge letter)...
the first five letters complete it with "leigh"
to make the name "Ashleigh"

unless "leighsa" is an odd spelling of "lisa" or an entirely unique name altogether.
or, even possibly a completely random letter combo :o


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28 Feb 2010, 5:30 am

it's one of the more annoying traits :x

it seems like when i'm talking with my girlfriend i'm constantly at war with myself trying to keep that regulated and not act too pathetically lovey; Suppressing my deeply ingrained need to please.

i constantly worry that i'll end up f*****g myself over one of these days, & end up coming off as obsessive or clingy & end up scaring her off :? .

& the fact that things are actually going really well at the moment has me decidedly uneasy, but somewhat relieved.


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28 Feb 2010, 5:54 am

Taupey wrote:
-405- wrote:
I came across this online test, which determines how likely it is that you have Asperger's, and one of the questions that was asked was 'when you like someone, do you become obsessive and can't let them go?'. I never knew that this was a trait of Asperger's, but it certainly rings true to me. When I'm interested in a guy, I become obsessive and shamefully almost stalkerish in my behaviour. It's almost like they are my 'special interest', which I need to know everything about.


What are your experiences with 'crushing'?


The object of my limerence is an Aspie on the other side of the World, in Finland maybe. He's hijacked my BlackBerry, controls my Internet access, hears all my calls, reads all my emails and I adore him.
Er...not to sound negative, but that sounds like a dangerous situation. :?



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28 Feb 2010, 6:39 am

I also become eager to see anything the person in question creates. Examples include writing, pictures, and the results of various kinds of editing software, but I also enjoy listening to long, loosely coherent rants. (Especially when submitted in text, so that I can give it proper attention.)


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28 Feb 2010, 6:54 am

I used to do this, but have (I think successfully) kept it in check for the past few years. I've become more mindful of it anyway, and would readily date maybe half of my female peers rather than just a few like in my mid-teens. I'm a fairly cautious person, though, so I tend not to be too overt about my interest - for one thing, a lot of socially able people can disguise overt interest in half-jokes as part of a fun and carefree personality, and I don't think I could get away with that.



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28 Feb 2010, 9:22 am

I crawl deeper in my shell because as soon as I catch myself having a crush on someone I imagine getting shot down in front of a large group of people.
So I avoid any place I might run into her or, if avoiding is impossible, I do my best ninja act and hide from her.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on perspective, every woman I've had a crush on was in a relationship and I immediately lose interest (at least emotionally) when I know she's unavailable.


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28 Feb 2010, 9:57 am

-405- wrote:
I came across this online test, which determines how likely it is that you have Asperger's, and one of the questions that was asked was 'when you like someone, do you become obsessive and can't let them go?'. I never knew that this was a trait of Asperger's, but it certainly rings true to me. When I'm interested in a guy, I become obsessive and shamefully almost stalkerish in my behaviour. It's almost like they are my 'special interest', which I need to know everything about.


What are your experiences with 'crushing'?


I become obsessive but detached.

It's hard for me to establish a relationship once the boundaries have been crossed. I think part of it is the fear of rejection or not living up to what that person expected of me from an external point of view.


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28 Feb 2010, 10:04 am

I think this gets into a larger relationship phobia, at least for myself. I reconnected by letter with mine and he wrote back immediately with what I thought was a very romantic letter (without actually stating an interest). My reaction? Total panic. So I wrote back something non -committal and I didn't hear from him for 5 years until this last Christmas Eve when he showed up at my door. He lives in the town I used to but his sister lives here. Anyway big bear hug, nice visit, told me I was wonderful, kissed me and left. I'll probably see him again in a few years. :roll: Some may say the obsession is keeping me from another possible connection, but the fact is, I'm really not looking. If someone right comes along then that's different. When I came across WP after already researching autism for 6 years and I saw myself time and time again; it hit me like a ton of bricks that my ineptness with relationships was there for a reason and there was no reason to think they would magically disappear, right guy or not. Oh and those five years? Four of those were almost completely consumed with intrusive thoughts of him. I'm pretty much over it now, but I still think he's awesome.



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28 Feb 2010, 1:47 pm

My experiences with falling in love have followed much the same pattern throughout my life.

I fall in love with a woman whom I obsess over for years. What I find frustrating and I would like to hear other people's thoughts on this, is that if the woman in question begins to seem attracted to me, I immediately start to find fault with her. She isn't as smart as I had assumed or she has bad taste in literature or she isn't quite as beautiful as I had remembered.

This has happened in a few cases throughout my life and I find it surprising just how predictable it is. It seems to me that this is a method I use to avoid the very real anxiety that comes with negotiating intimacy.

I am a self diagnosed Aspie and mostly I feel it is relatively mild. At any rate, I suspect I pass for normal so long as I am not dealing with strangers or women I am greatly attracted to. But where I seem to go a bit overboard with the standard Aspie symptoms is in anything that remotely resembles dating and intimacy.

I have not yet found a way to avoid finding reasons not to take the emotional risks of love and friendship. The result is that, despite the fact that a lot of the more annoying Aspie symptoms have eased with age, I still find myself growing more and more isolated. I'm good at analyzing a situation and proposing solutions, but this is one I haven't been able to solve.