Anyone here afraid they will never get a girlfriend?

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Yeah, I am. My 14 year old bro will probably have gotten married before I find my first one.

I'm certainly beginning to think I'll be alone forever. I always get to know women and when I ask them out, it catches them off-gaurd because they thought I was just a friend. So, I guess I'm supposed to make it clear when I meet them that I want to date them. But I don't know that I want to date them until I get to know them! I am starting to think that I don't even like the women I ask out as much as I like the idea of companionship. It's all confusing to me, and I don't know if I'll understand it.

The way it's supposed to work is that you 'date' any girl who you have an impulse of attraction to, even if mild. Through dating them, you figure out whether you're interested in having a relationship with them.
In other words, you're getting dating mixed up with relationships. They are not synonymous; A girlfriend is not necessarily a fiance, but a girlfriend can grow into one.

As for taking women off-guard, yeah, I've been there... Bout a dozen times... ><
The answer lies in taking the time to figure out the finer points of flirting. There are a lot of good resources out there that can give you a better idea of what works for flirting. Once you understand it better, you feel empowered in using it, and can do it much more casually. But you've gotta spend some focused, concerted time and effort on getting better at that. Eventually, it becomes easier to avoid accidentally falling into the 'friend zone,' and you'll find that your ability to be a good person and a good friend can transition into being attractive. It is a confusing topic, possibly one of the most complex parts about human interaction, but if you focus on it, you will see improvements and be happier from it.

A note about 'dates':
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2644865.html#2644865

I'm not afraid; if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I'm sure I could get one if I really wanted to but the effort seems to not be worth it right now.

Yes, I am. I'm 28 & I've never even been on a date.

I am very afraid sometimes that I will not get a girl. The other thing I am afraid of is how hard its going to be if I get into a relationship.

Am I afraid that I'll never have a girlfriend? Hell no Quite frankly, I don't care if I'm single another 10 years, it doesn't matter to me anymore.

I used to spend so much time and effort into finding a girlfriend in the past, and all it did was make me miserable, cost me money that could be better spent, and wasted my time. I don't what your experience is, OP, but I can tell you from mine that worrying about whether you're going to have a gf or not won't change your present situation. You're either going to have to a.) try to change your approach with women to make you come across as more desirable, or do what I do, b.) stop caring about trying to impress woman, stop caring what woman think of you, and just be yourself and enjoy doing the things you do.

I know what I say sounds weird, but once you stop caring about trying to impress woman, you can focus on other things. You can be as happy being single as you can dating some girl, being with someone romantically is NOT the epitome of all happiness, it is a nice accesory, that's all.

Despite my malcontented views and opinions, in person, I'm a well articulated, well mannered nice guy. In fact, I know that a lot of women would like me if they got the chance to really know me. But in truth, I don't care whether they like me or not, if they don't care for me, that's their loss and no skin off my nose. I'd suggest adopting the same mindset, after all, women are not losing any sleep over guys like us, why should we lose sleep over them

eek

@ pbcoll And with that attitude you are going to be alone forever why give up giving up means you have failed 100% if you keep trying there is still a chance people will like you

Technically the chances are non-zero if I try but the odds are so stacked against me that it seems like a total waste of time - same reason why I don't buy lottery tickets. I don't believe in flogging a dead horse, I prefer to cut my losses and move on. I have accepted (not joyfully) that I will be alone forever, that I will never get a gf or a date ever again. Actually there are two separate issues here, one that I don't know any girl with whom a relationship would have any chance of working (hence no point in asking out anyone I know to begin with), and that I don't see any girl in the future accepting me as I am, essentially because of being uncharismatic and poor social skills generally, being weird with weird interests, and not being interested in things that with the vast majority of girls are prerequisites for getting anywhere romantically (partying, clubbing, dancing).



That's more or less my experience too.



That's the mindset I'm trying to adopt. They don't care what I think of them, so why should I care what they think of me?

Hmm would you mind telling me how old you are if thats not a problem if it is thats fine

No problem, I'm 27.

I nominally had a 'gf' briefly when I was twelve, she broke up because I didn't change, then I didn't have a gf (or even a date) until I was 17 (all girls I asked out until then said no), then I was in a serious relationship for five years before it all went down the toilet (this had a big impact - if even what was in many ways a 'perfect' relationship fell apart, I just don't expect much from a regular relationship). I haven't had a date since and given what I now know about most of the girls I had an interest in at some point, I can think of much worse outcomes.

Well are you happy being without a releationship? does it keep you awake at night knowing that you have no one? im not very old myself but stll hear me out you have asked other girls out right? but they all say no thats fine keep trying not everyone is going to want to date you some will some wont but ifreleationships are somthing you can live without then thats fine great let no one tell you different that you should and must be in one its your choice and your only 27 your young you may live to see 80! you still have a long life to live and still so much to look foward too and in all that time so many things could happen so dont cut yourself off now becuse you still have alot of chances you may not see it but in time it will happen. keep looking dont give up and if you dont want to look thats fine as long as your ok and happy to hell with what everyone else says.

I'm not afraid never getting a girlfriend. However, I don't mind if I never do. I do have plans in the future that involves being single. These plans I know I'll enjoy. I guess I should make plans though in case I do get married and stuff.
There's a good enough chance I'll never get a girlfriend because I probably won't try.

There you go. Only the aspie guys here don't get that women are in fact fellow human beings and not an entirely different species to be 'understood'...

Like some here have already posted, I'm not afraid of never getting a girlfriend, because I know I'll probably never have one. It really doesn't help my self-esteem when I remember my middle school days when girls would run away from me like I had some disease or something, and when one girl (jokingly) announced that she was going out with me, everyone made "eewww" sounds and laughed. Any time I did something nice for a girl or girls, they would give each other that "That guy is a wierdo" look and started giggling.

I always felt like I was the only person in my whole school that never even kissed, and to this day, I feel like I never will have anyone. I've learned to accept that, but I still feel bouts of depression.