Lene wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
. Many arranged marriages last for life even though they are pretty random set ups. The key ingredient is that the couple decide to stay together as they dont believe in divorce as an option.
Are arranged marriages actually random? I don't know much about them, but I have heard that usually the bride and groom's family know each other and they are usually from the same religious and socioeconomic group; that's a lot of things in common to start with.
Personally, I thinking staying together because you don't believe in divorce is pretty bleak, and I'm not sure if I would count a marriage like that a 'success'
Depending what culture you belong to. The author Elizabeth Gilbert visited Mongolia where marriages are pretty much forced, and she said that women there hadnt even heard of the idea of romantic happiness, and when she said "Are you happy with your husbands?" the women laughed and said "Who is happy?" They dont have the expectation that people in the West have that life should make you happy. The woman did say "I am content." though.
Arranged marriages are kind of random, as they often put together for the benefit of the families, not because of personality compatibility between people. Being of the same religious and socioeconomic group is not a guarantee of compatibility.
As for the west, I think that if you want to find your soulmate, you should be prepared to have several relationships in your life. But I have read that people can find success with their original mate in many cases anyway. My parents have been married for 37 years, so it is something I wonder about.
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"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.