5 movie romances that won't last according to science....

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Lene
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19 Mar 2010, 9:35 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
. Many arranged marriages last for life even though they are pretty random set ups. The key ingredient is that the couple decide to stay together as they dont believe in divorce as an option.


Are arranged marriages actually random? I don't know much about them, but I have heard that usually the bride and groom's family know each other and they are usually from the same religious and socioeconomic group; that's a lot of things in common to start with.

Personally, I thinking staying together because you don't believe in divorce is pretty bleak, and I'm not sure if I would count a marriage like that a 'success' :?



zen_mistress
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19 Mar 2010, 9:46 pm

Lene wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
. Many arranged marriages last for life even though they are pretty random set ups. The key ingredient is that the couple decide to stay together as they dont believe in divorce as an option.


Are arranged marriages actually random? I don't know much about them, but I have heard that usually the bride and groom's family know each other and they are usually from the same religious and socioeconomic group; that's a lot of things in common to start with.

Personally, I thinking staying together because you don't believe in divorce is pretty bleak, and I'm not sure if I would count a marriage like that a 'success' :?


Depending what culture you belong to. The author Elizabeth Gilbert visited Mongolia where marriages are pretty much forced, and she said that women there hadnt even heard of the idea of romantic happiness, and when she said "Are you happy with your husbands?" the women laughed and said "Who is happy?" They dont have the expectation that people in the West have that life should make you happy. The woman did say "I am content." though.

Arranged marriages are kind of random, as they often put together for the benefit of the families, not because of personality compatibility between people. Being of the same religious and socioeconomic group is not a guarantee of compatibility.

As for the west, I think that if you want to find your soulmate, you should be prepared to have several relationships in your life. But I have read that people can find success with their original mate in many cases anyway. My parents have been married for 37 years, so it is something I wonder about.


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Aspiewifey
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20 Mar 2010, 12:38 am

zen_mistress wrote:
Arranged marriages are kind of random, as they often put together for the benefit of the families, not because of personality compatibility between people. Being of the same religious and socioeconomic group is not a guarantee of compatibility.


Guarantee? No. BIG help? Definitely.

zen-mistress wrote:
But I have read that people can find success with their original mate in many cases anyway. My parents have been married for 37 years, so it is something I wonder about.


What's really tripping me up here is the word "success." Does success mean happiness or does it mean staying together no matter what? Because if it means the latter, give me failure any day.



Eggman
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20 Mar 2010, 12:59 am

OOOOH science saying what can and can not be in movies....like that matters


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Sound
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20 Mar 2010, 1:57 am

Hence, a humor article.

:roll:



zen_mistress
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20 Mar 2010, 2:45 am

Aspiewifey wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
Arranged marriages are kind of random, as they often put together for the benefit of the families, not because of personality compatibility between people. Being of the same religious and socioeconomic group is not a guarantee of compatibility.


Guarantee? No. BIG help? Definitely.




zen-mistress wrote:
But I have read that people can find success with their original mate in many cases anyway. My parents have been married for 37 years, so it is something I wonder about.


What's really tripping me up here is the word "success." Does success mean happiness or does it mean staying together no matter what? Because if it means the latter, give me failure any day.


It can mean all sorts of things. More traditional/religious cultures talk about staying with partners for life, and though some do end in divorce, or can be abusive, many are happy marriages. I know of a happily married older couple who I believe were arranged. I read "Commitment", by Elizabeth Gilbert, and it examines these issues.

But I think a lot of the reason why my parents are still together is that they grew up not expecting much of life, nowhere near as much as I expect, anyway.


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Avarice
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21 Mar 2010, 5:53 am

The only bit of this that I noticed is that it ignored the Star Wars: Expanded Universe. I am disappoint.



Last edited by Avarice on 24 Mar 2010, 4:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Gremmie
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24 Mar 2010, 11:34 am

Well I'd hardly call it proper science tbh, besides Han and Leia can't be doomed to divorce. For a start I might have to sulk. It would be like the break up of Lady and the Tramp (not going to happen).
Also "Uhura would only put up with Spock's post-sex, "You continue to perform admirably" so many times before she would walk out.". That's awesome. I have to remember that line for future use.



Avarice
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24 Mar 2010, 4:19 pm

Gremmie wrote:
Well I'd hardly call it proper science tbh, besides Han and Leia can't be doomed to divorce. For a start I might have to sulk. It would be like the break up of Lady and the Tramp (not going to happen).
Also "Uhura would only put up with Spock's post-sex, "You continue to perform admirably" so many times before she would walk out.". That's awesome. I have to remember that line for future use.


That's because they don't. It's been a long time and the Star Wars: Expanded Universe isn't likely to change it. So they did last. And probably always will. I just hated how that article ignored the EU...



biostructure
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25 Mar 2010, 12:28 am

Now, I wonder what would happen if the still face experiment were tried with an autistic baby.



kingtut3
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26 Mar 2010, 10:48 pm

#5 doesn't factor in that the guy changes as the story goes on.



aeroz
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26 Mar 2010, 11:43 pm

My issue is their example at all. Logical does not mean, lack of emotions. An emotional responce can be a logical one. Someone is trying to kill you, its logical to be afraid for example.

Aspies are proof of that. Yes we are logical, and can seem cold and distant, but really how many of you consider yourselves emotionally dead? Aspies are very emotional, its why we learn to compensate with alot of self control. Whole reason we still try for love, is we deem it worth the effort. Nothing illogical about that.

What I find more fitting with aspies, is unfair compermise and self-esteem issues. Because aspies are so low on the social ladder, we often grasp at any chance of love we get and put alot of effort into maintaining it even if we are the only ones. My potential relationships became alot better when I realized, if I am the only one worried about it not working, its not worth working for.

I'd also like to add something. Love is not a competition. Men are not pieces of meat to judge, women are not prizes to be won. Relationships are about mutual desire to be with that person. To connect and understand one another. If the thought is ever "s/he is the best I can get", then thats not the one for you


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