Break Up!

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Do you have a close friend or someone who can just be with you for a while? Somebody you trust to not talk, just to help keep you off the ledge and hand you tissues? I know it hurts so much. *more hugs*

still hurting. Is there any more advice you all have out there. I am really trying to cope with all this.

I second this. If there was any real emotional investment in the relationship (and it sure sounds like there was), trying to be friends right away is just begging for trouble.

If you have other friends you can talk to or go out somewhere with that can help, tbh it's just going to take time. I think that curling up under a desk with music and a teddy bear was one of the things that has helped me - could also try just picking up a pen and spewing your emotions out on paper. *hugs*

now he is telling me all this telling me that he is in love me and does not want to loose me. I am so confused.

Okay, I don't know how long you two were involved, and I'm not sure how old the two of you are, but I'll do my best to give you a little perspective.

You two had some serious communication problems, right? So if you get back together with him, what will be different? How will you and he approach communication differently, so that you don't repeat the same problems? Is he willing to educate himself about AS? Is he willing to understand that you have certain limitations that cannot be changed? Does he understand that AS is not a choice on your part, and that he will have to adjust his expectations of the relationship in some ways to accommodate you?

Do you understand that there are probably things you can do differently as well? Are you willing to push your own limits (whatever limits can be pushed) in order to accommodate your NT partner? Are you willing to educate him, and be patient with him while he learns?

I've got to say, I really, really dislike the fact that he dumped you via text. That's just immature and cowardly. However, I don't know all the details (age, relationship experience, extenuating factors, etc.), so I don't know if that's a deal-breaker or not. I'd send him an email and ask him about the stuff above. You need to understand if he's willing to contribute to a better relationship, and be a better partner before you make any decisions about reconciliation. I suggest taking at least a week for the two of you to think about how to resolve those issues, and then see where you both stand (after emotions have cooled a bit). Good luck.

Oh jeez, this brings me down memory lane...

My strong advice (for what it's worth) is do not get back with him.

I know there is a real temptation to take him back; you loved him and were really hurt when he dumped you, but take it from me that if he can throw you away once (and by text!), he will think nothing of doing it again, or similarily taking you for granted. Hopegrows is right; nothing has changed, the issues are still there and he has not indicated any willingness to work on them. Even if he does suddenly say that he will change, I would be hesitant to beleive him. You did bring up the issues before, and he chose to dump you in response.

I know people like this, and I'm guessing his thinking is that hopefully by dumping you, you have 'learnt your lesson' and now will be pathetically grateful to have him back again. Do not fall for this! Be the 'one that got away', not the sorry sap that fell for his manipulations.

Geez I hate it when people do that. They do something and then say another. I would call him out on that.

It always hurts when you get dumped and why must he do it through text?

I hope you feel better soon.

wow thanks you all. You have helped me a ton. Hopegrows, all I have to say is wow. I want to get to know yous seriously