Am I too jaded?

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Moog
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01 Apr 2010, 3:54 pm

It's a book by Herman Hesse, and it's very good.

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kingtut3
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01 Apr 2010, 6:18 pm

I have similar feelings.

Bataar
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01 Apr 2010, 10:42 pm

I'm just very happy that all the heterosexual people in my family that I have any kind of relationship with are already married and I'm not obligated to go to anymore weddings. Weddings are just horrible experiences for me on so many different levels.

-Joshua-
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02 Apr 2010, 12:17 am

It's difficult for me to feel joy for the people getting married, but I understand that it is a very exciting and joyous time for them. I usually say something like "Congratulations!" and express a forced excitement for them as to not be rude to them. I've no issues with other peoples' happiness, I just can't naturally get excited for them.

ToadOfSteel
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02 Apr 2010, 12:20 am

Well yeah I do the same thing just to keep up appearances. But deep down inside I just want to get away from them and find an isolated corner to disappear into...

therange
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02 Apr 2010, 1:31 am

I don't understand the jealousy a lot of the men on here are expressing. A lot of relationships behind closed doors aren't that great anyway, and a lot of them fail.

Bataar
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02 Apr 2010, 1:46 am

therange wrote:

I don't understand the jealousy a lot of the men on here are expressing. A lot of relationships behind closed doors aren't that great anyway, and a lot of them fail.

A lot of rich people end up losing all of their wealth too due to poor investments or wreckless spending. That doesn't stop me from wishing I was rich.

Sound
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02 Apr 2010, 7:53 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Great... I'm already slipping into self-absorbed narcissism again...

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

No, you are jealous.

+1.
It's not a big deal. You make it out like you're all dark and sinister. It's like a parody. Like a guy with wide, black hat and curly mustache, wringing his hands as he lays his most devious trap yet: A WHOOPIE CUSHION!

This isn't a big deal. This is normal.

therange wrote:

I don't understand the jealousy a lot of the men on here are expressing. A lot of relationships behind closed doors aren't that great anyway, and a lot of them fail.

In that respect, I think you're in the minority, therange. A period of bitterness is ExTrEmElY common, especially if your prior perspectives are getting torn down. Some people manage to dodge it, or recover quick. Not sure how/why.

ToadOfSteel, you're fine, man. You wont lose control, no more than anyone else. So long as you recognize your feelings for what they are, you're fine. I'd be jealous and spiteful too; In fact, I was.

ToadOfSteel
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02 Apr 2010, 9:34 am

Sound wrote:

It's not a big deal. You make it out like you're all dark and sinister. It's like a parody. Like a guy with wide, black hat and curly mustache, wringing his hands as he lays his most devious trap yet: A WHOOPIE CUSHION!

Are you implying that i'm nothing but a big joke to you?

Quote:

This isn't a big deal. This is normal.

But I feel really ashamed of myself for feeling such things. If I wanted to be a real man I wouldn't be feeling these feelings, yet here I am...

MichelleRM78
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02 Apr 2010, 9:37 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Sound wrote:

Are you implying that i'm nothing but a big joke to you?

Quote:

This isn't a big deal. This is normal.

But I feel really ashamed of myself for feeling such things. If I wanted to be a real man I wouldn't be feeling these feelings, yet here I am...

A REAL man can admit his feelings-- and that's what you are doing. Being able to admit some things that you aren't proud of and try to figure out how NOT to feel that way does make you a real man. Very few people are able to do that.

Sound
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02 Apr 2010, 10:03 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Sound wrote:

Are you implying that i'm nothing but a big joke to you?

Quote:

This isn't a big deal. This is normal.

But I feel really ashamed of myself for feeling such things. If I wanted to be a real man I wouldn't be feeling these feelings, yet here I am...

1) No. My point is that you are blowing this out of proportion. I attempted to inject humor in the process of making that point. Unsuccessfully.

2) One measure of a man is not the feelings he feels, but how he deals with them. By that standard of measure, you might have made slight missteps, but are still in very good shape. Particularly when you look at how some other men might react.
Personally, I put a very, very high regard on one's ability to moderate their own behavior, and their self-awareness. By that standard of measure(which is merely my own), you are well 'above par.'

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