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Why do some guys feel that happiness is dependant on love?

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sinsboldly
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05 Apr 2010, 8:12 am

Mikelight wrote:
I have no idea why some guys would think that. Don't they know that happiness depends on video games? Geez!


and much more affordable! :D



WhoSaidThat
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05 Apr 2010, 9:18 am

The thing that gets me, is that any male who isn't in a relationship, society sees as etiher being a loser, or gay. I've seen what relationships do to people (NTs) with my own eyes - and yet people find it odd and warped that I think relationships pointless :? These days, hardly any love lasts anyway, and therefore, using that logic, I fail to see how love is the key to happiness.

Not only that, on a personal level I feel that no one can relate to me because of the AS, and therefore, a relationship would be of no benefit to me or the other person.



Moog
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05 Apr 2010, 9:59 am

We are told so by the media and ideas embedded in our culture.


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Aspie_Chav
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05 Apr 2010, 12:28 pm

Space wrote:
love isn't happiness , it's just a myth. In the end, love is difficult and frought with many perils. Unfortunately, modern society is not conducive to the kind of love that endures. Adult love is conditional, and carries real risk like divorce , kids, and seriously hurt feelings when things go south. Money, technology , pop culture, work, our collective greed and narcissism, all conspire against our chances of long term love. AS is just the icing on the cake. So if you're single , you really aren't as bad off as you might think.


I remember when I was 15 I started suffering from depression I didn’t know why. One time in a night club with a friend, I didn’t understand why the alcohol made me depressed. Today I parked up at Lidls so my mother can go shopping. When I woke up gradually, I was overcome by chronic depression before I could wake up properly.

Chronic loneliness is most a genetic thing. This is why it doesn’t it happens at the start of being a teenager not at 5 years old. If one could convince oneself that they are happy this way. The will most likely have fits of depression and not understand why it is happening. One could be rich, travel to exotic lands etc but if it mean the certainty of being alone, it will not be good enough.

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Aspie_Chav
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05 Apr 2010, 12:55 pm

Moog wrote:
We are told so by the media and ideas embedded in our culture.


I don't think most aspie care about media and NT culture. So by that alone they would ignore it, and continue to play on their computers etc.



ursaminor
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05 Apr 2010, 2:24 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
Moog wrote:
We are told so by the media and ideas embedded in our culture.


I don't think most aspie care about media and NT culture. So by that alone they would ignore it, and continue to play on their computers etc.
I actually do.
I have almost no contact with actual people outside of my house and there is no pressure on me for anything short of finishing my homework which is great fun.
So I am not pressured into anything.
I sometimes wonder if it would be nice to have someone to do some things with, but I could not know because I have never had such a thing, so I ignore.



hale_bopp
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05 Apr 2010, 7:51 pm

You need to get into a place where your happiness doesn't depend on others.

Otherwise you're screwed, sorry.



CockneyRebel
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05 Apr 2010, 8:09 pm

Because they're looking for some satisfaction.


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sunshower
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06 Apr 2010, 12:56 am

hale_bopp wrote:
You need to get into a place where your happiness doesn't depend on others.

Otherwise you're screwed, sorry.


^ pretty much.

I also wish things weren't so genderized. I think life would be a lot simpler, straightforward, and less painful and annoying if that were the case.


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Gremmie
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06 Apr 2010, 3:11 am

hale_bopp wrote:
You need to get into a place where your happiness doesn't depend on others.

Otherwise you're screwed, sorry.


Yes. Too many people seem to be looking for their "other half". You've got to be a whole person in your own right. If you can get to the point where you are happy being just you, then fantastic. :)



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06 Apr 2010, 6:56 am

IMO, money is more important than love anyway. Love can't buy you food, water, and shelter, can it? You need money for those things.

I'd rather be rich than be in love, because relationships end and people die, but if you make a lot of money and don't be stupid with it, you can get whatever you want for the rest of your life. THAT would make me happy. Love just stresses me out and always ends badly.

Just give me money any day.



Aspie_Chav
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06 Apr 2010, 3:14 pm

Gremmie wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
You need to get into a place where your happiness doesn't depend on others.

Otherwise you're screwed, sorry.


Yes. Too many people seem to be looking for their "other half". You've got to be a whole person in your own right. If you can get to the point where you are happy being just you, then fantastic. :)


The geeks in this forum are no less whole person then NTs and probably do not have unhealthy attitudes. Some geeks adapt and change to be more NT like. But it doesn't mean that they have negative self image. It is only a means to an end.

If in some cultures it is a tractive to look like a portly rabbi , then that is the image I would try to go for to fit in. And when I attain it, I am not going to look in the mirror as say to myself wooo looking good, I sure look better now then I did with an athletic body.

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Last edited by Aspie_Chav on 06 Apr 2010, 3:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Aspie_Chav
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06 Apr 2010, 3:18 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
IMO, money is more important than love anyway. Love can't buy you food, water, and shelter, can it? You need money for those things.

I'd rather be rich than be in love, because relationships end and people die, but if you make a lot of money and don't be stupid with it, you can get whatever you want for the rest of your life. THAT would make me happy. Love just stresses me out and always ends badly.

Just give me money any day.


Your probably content with being alone a little. When the money comes your way, the woman probably will also. So you probably can afford the luxury of believing you don't need anyone.



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06 Apr 2010, 4:08 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Just give me money any day.


What will you want when you have enough money?


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hale_bopp
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06 Apr 2010, 6:32 pm

Moog wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Just give me money any day.


What will you want when you have enough money?


He can just buy whatever he wants.



Space
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06 Apr 2010, 8:14 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Moog wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Just give me money any day.


What will you want when you have enough money?


He can just buy whatever he wants.

buy a fancy pc and post on wp