Misogyny vs. Misandry concerning rejection

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Only if you only want female slaves. If you don't discriminate based on the sex of the applicants for said slave position then you are not a misogynist.

I think that this is true of alot of women - certainly if they have been brought up like me. I have had my mother and various older women tell me that men will mistreat me and that they are no good. So I don't really hold them in high regard in a romantic context. I get on really well with all the guys that I work with and I keep in touch through facebook with a couple of blokes I went to college with, but I can't help but hate them in a romantic context. For example, I really liked a friend of mine. He had a look at my car for me when I thought the suspension had gone. He established that it was ok and said that he would book it in for an MOT and buy me some windscreen wipers because the ones on it were no go and then didn't. I was angry with him because we were getting along quite well and then he does something like this which shows he doesn't care about me at all. But men seem to do this sort of thing alot. They seem quite unreliable creatures. I said to some male friends when we were all sitting in a group one day: "why are men so unreliable?" None of them said anything. I said, "you aren't doing much to defend yourselves here." And one replied, "well it's true, we're guys, we're unreliable, what can I say." and laughed.

I'm annoyed with myself as well, because when I see this guy that fixed my car, I enjoy his company and I am still attracted to him. But he keeps letting me down. I don't want to be attracted to him, but he's quite shy and sweet. It's completely illogical and I don't like it.

It amazes me that men and women get together at all.

It's interesting you say that. If this situation was reversed a lot of people would say the girl was trying to let the guy down gently (something which I don't agree with people deserve honesty) maybe that's what is happening here. Im not sure I could be wrong.

Regards the thread title I have nothing against women in general, infact I have lots of female friends (although the fact none of them ever see me as potentially anything else can at times be depressing)

What I do have a problem with however is fake feminism, by this I mean individual females who preach on about equality and respect when in truth they return none of the latter and just want everything their own way.

I also now refuse to get invovled with anyone who has been severly hurt by their exs, this is because they always end up doing the same to me and either treating me really badly and/or just using me as a stopgap until someone else comes along for them. If I continue to do so then I know I will end up losing respect for the female species as a whole which is something I don't wish to do.

Last edited by Daemonic-Jackal on 16 Apr 2010, 8:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

You are probably right. You're not the first person to say this about him. But this has happened with a few guys. It's ignorant and unfair. I don't go for jerks either. I tend to go for intelligent, kind, interesting people. But they sort of view me differently to everyone else. I see them being kind and being talked well of by others, but this is not my experience with them. I think it must be in the way I come accross. I was arrogant and opinionated as a teenager, but I have really mellowed over the past 10 years. I am not offensive, I am quite and polite (my old boss called me "completely in-offensive", but I seem to be unapproachable, unreachable and I don't know why.

Well, I guess people can disagree. However, with such a huge percentage of women actually being abused by men in their lifetimes, I think it is true. They hold out hope that there is a good guy-- but experience certainly tells them the odds are against them. It is very normal to be treated with disrespect and expected to take it (not even to the abuse level). Its almost a daily thing. So when a guy turns out to be a POS, its no surprise to me.

That just sucks.

IMO, this is fuel for the argument of the need for a bit more respect for women's studies, but also a very dire need for the existence, and similar respect, of men's studies. In a sense, men abusing women is actually men's problem, since women will not be able to address the thoughts and behavior that fuels or provokes so many men to be violent or bitter. That's something only men can address within themselves, either as individuals or as a culture. But right now, there's no academic vehicle with-which to pursue this idea. The tools to address our culture of violence hardly exist. That really disappoints me, and I kinda suspect that progress in improving gender-relations will be at a near-standstill until mens' studies are promoted.

Whoever it was who said that misogyny results from a man failing to see that not only women reject him and treat him with contempt, but other men also, and he fails to realize this only on account of his ignorance and sexual overvaluation of women, was truly right.

Fate and circumstance often pick out individuals and subject them to a uniquely horrifying and painful existence, and by this act the great majority feel exalted.

It is little different to the burning of 'witches' and 'pagans' in old times.

Once a man realizes that the whole world hates him, and not just women, then he will be cured of his misogyny, but will contract other diseases of the mind in its place.

I really like the avatar david and I hope you're trolling.
If not, I would have to recommend some cognitive therapy, as that is plainly a maladaptive belief.

I'm not trolling.

Men are, on the whole, much more hateful and vicious than women.

It is mostly men who steal, rob, murder, and oppress others in this world.

I don't agree there. Women sometimes have a way of hate, manipulation etc that isn't as easily picked up. Same goes for stealing etc.

I think the pain is felt equally. A lot of very good people don't have, in a superficial sense, what the other sex immediately would desire - I say immediate because in the current culture its all about immediate impressions, if you can't make an instant impression or don't have a 'vibe' you have to just be lucky enough to meet someone through friends or through work, which is a set of odds that are really confined by who you are, where you're personality sits best - its a qualitative judgment on the person nor really can it be.

With women though, like guys, this really seems to relate back to the particular girl. Girls and guys who have humility - ie. haven't had life passed to them on a silver platter, nor have a victim mentality, typically don't have a problem with this. Speaking as a guy though I have noticed that when I did have rather attractive girls interested in me (when I worked in the restaurant industry), personalities either couldn't meet or they simply misread my reservedness (ie. my cover over my AS) and often did lash back in little ways or got quite noticeably pissed and did take it out on me - not on an overboard level but rather by showing that they believed they'd been scorned by me and almost treating me like an enemy. That said though, the girls in question, were a bit youthful in the head - ie they were in their early 20's and still really hadn't left the highschool mentality. The guys I know at that age - I can't say they're too dissimilar, if they have low self esteem or see their ability to pick up a girl who's simply 'attractive', basing it on sex drive and appearance first without personality, they have a similarly faulty paradigm - and its the same thing from both sides, the reality tv take on what relationships are, and I've known guys who'd go around saying certain girls were b*****s simply because they wouldn't date them (and - certain girls who'd crack down and call a guy a wierdo/gay/etc. behind his back because they couldn't imagine any other reason why he wouldn't be interested).

I think it really all just reflects back on the maturity and intelligence level of the particular person. You also notice that incredibly good looking people can have a tendency to be lacking in mental faculties or analytical grip on reality *if* they've been stroked all their lives and had the world given to them - what they realize later after multiple failed marriages and largely wrecked and miserable lives - is that they suffered greatly both for their own lax and society's lax on them. By human nature though they're always be two sides to that game as well with either gender - one side wanting to see society mature, one just wanting to get theirs, and the former looking at the later like they're weak or dead in libido, thus sort of neutralizing what merit that the issue of altruism has in this.

My own story - I had some misogynistic outlooks at a time, though I think that had even more to do with people literally denying my identity on superficial grounds and trying to grind my ego into the floor - quite deliberately, I cared a lot more about being respected in that regard than the dating issue. As time went on though that went away, the dates I have had have been cordial, and sadly as well I've realized that 9 times out of 10 I'm the one who's not interested and who ends up kicking the ongoing possibility the curb or breaking the news to them, which on one hand is hard because I've had to come face to face with my own pickiness and what it means, but also - I'd really rather be rejected than do the rejecting, true I don't see myself just walking up to random girls because they're 'hawt' and trying lines - I don't think I'd be understood as myself and even success would be the wrong kind - I need to see a display of personality first usually, but I've really come to realize - this is a no fault game.. Its not easy for anyone. That's why when I go on dates, whether I'm not interested in them, they're not interested in me, even if they bordered on blatantly rude about it (very rare though) I try to be as polite as I can, shake hands with them and say good game in a sense (not literally), because in trying people out they're just doing what they have to do - the dating game *sucks* and really the best thing you can do is make it easier for the people around you and yourself by being, as the OP put it, as objective as possible. We're all essentially alone in a big world and we need all the love, altruism, and positive/constructive feedback that we can get.

Men will be disgusting pigs in ways that women won't. E.g. they will spend all goddamn morning on a particular piece of equipment at the gym that you want to get at, but when you're using the equipment male pigs will come up and demand how many more sets you've got left to do.

If you let them they will take everything you have away from you. They feel no guilt or shame at all.

The worst a woman can do is reject me, ignore me, neglect me or talk about me behind my back. I've spent 26 years dealing with that from every woman I've met and it's nowhere near as bad as the way other men have treated me.

Like I said; everybody treats me like sh!t, but I only really care about it when men do it, because they are far, far more piggish, more violent and, because they hold most of the power in society, every time another man fcks me over it feels twice as painful.

To the extent that I can't make a living or enjoy my daily life, at all, when men treat me like this.

And above all else, there is one thing that men would (and have tried to) do to me, which women would not: kill me.

A couple of years ago a woman brought a male friend with her to my flat, and I buzzed them in unawares. But he confronted me in the kitchen and punched me and headbutted me several times, which she found amusing. I didn't fight back but just blubbered like a baby. Which in a man's world means you deserve to die; because next he jumped up onto a surface, and proceeded to put a wire around my neck, and he was going to choke me to death when she finally told him to stop.

No matter how much women despise me they would never kill me ... and in fact, were it not for women, I would not be alive today, and I would most likely have been brutally murdered many years ago. There are no doubt numerous occasions in childhood when I was saved by, e.g., female teachers from meeting an early demise.

Now, I suppose the worst thing a woman ever did to me was give birth to me in the first place.

Women murder people too, often in less physical ways, poisioning etc.

When two women are kissing each other or touching each other it makes me really hard.

But when two men are intent upon one another, it just looks really nasty.

Thats because you aren't gay.

TBH, two of either sex kissing and touching each other does squat for me. Looking at that sort of stuff is boring, completely a non direct form of arousal. I have kinkier forms of that which do it for me, otherwise a real guy who i'm really into.