Enough is enough.

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That's true, not just for people but for many species of animal. Its also the reason so many aspie females have partners as opposed to aspie males.

If NT men don't like aspie womans traits, there will be some other guy out there who doesn't mind. And as women are less based on looks than men, if an aspie girl looks okay, looks will come before apieness (in SOME, not all cases), but aspie men tend to have qualities that very few women find attractive, and that pretty much always comes before looks.

Yeah of course it's not applicable to everyone, but it must be somewhat true as the ratio of complaining aspie males to females is about 20:1.

[quote="therange"]This has nothing to do with me. This message is geared toward the "I'm 23 and have never had a girlfriend, life s*cks" posts. I can't remember the last time I was on this message board and read "I met a great girl (in real life) and she accepts me for who I am." All we get is "I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and can't kiss her" posts.[/quote]


Well im sorry im not as confident around girls and this IS a love and dating forum so sure we may have alot of this stuff but there are alot of people out there who are crap at this stuff and get really down so this is what they turn to for help and advice. And my threads of how i cant kiss my GF are to recieve advice not to whine or complain

Those aren't problems having a Girlfriend solves. They are problems you have with yourself, that only you can solve.

They can all be done without being in a relationship with a girl, or even being with female friends at all.

You see, you said so yourself. Your life is now better since you had the experience and abolished the mystery of what a relationship is like. So why are you preaching that it solves nothing?

I think Aspie men are better off not knowing. If I could have done it all over again, I would have dated some unattractive girl or found a mean attractive girl. Now that I know there are quality, cute women out there, and that I'm the problem, not them, it doesn't exactly make me feel good.

Also, I'm now in therapy for the first time in 2 years, mostly of the relationship's doing. I also go anywhere in public, and see a girl with long dark hair, fair skinned, and conservatively dressed, and it reminds me of her.

I've only had the one relationship, and while it ended very painfully, I'd still say it enriched my life on the whole. She wasn't The One or anything, but those years are among the happiest I can remember, and did my self-esteem and social skills a world of good too. So I can't agree that people here are better off not knowing what it's like to be in a romantic relationship, or that it won't improve anyone's life significantly. It improved mine a great deal, and was well worth the effort.

That sounds pretty bad. I hope therapy softens the association of you ex gf with the girls you described, as they seem to be very common.

Her eyes are what separates her. Let's put it this way, I've sent my online friend hundreds of pics of women...women on dating sites, celebrities, women I know, etc., and her pic was the only one he kept.

Also, like HaleBopp alluded to, men generally care more about looks alone than women do. In other words, I see her and look past her personality faults and think "She's beautiful." Women see cute/hot Aspie guy and think "He's weird. I'll find someone else, maybe not as good looking, but with a personality more similar to mine."

Honestly, for me the reason I have never gotten a girl is because I don't know how to so have never really bothered to try, except for a few occasions in high school, but I haven't flinched on getting a date in 2 years.

I'm all for respecting the knowledge and experience of elders. But unfortunately, I've seen a number of older guys shill absolutely horrendous, actively damaging advice... Not saying that's you or Willard, heck I can't even recall who now. But 'round these parts, when it comes to L&D, age does not necessarily beget wisdom.

Not quite. It relieves a pressure, fulfills a need, subsides an anxiety. But it does not solve a problem.
Like ice on a bruise, it soothes, but it does not heal the bruise.


I think another, larger aspect is that AS detracts from male personality factors that women generally filter based on. In contrast, the things men look for in a woman are less affected by AS. Men generally don't mind women who are socially awkward, but in contrast, women's primary selector is usually based on social strength.

Having a girlfriend must 'solve' something or people wouldn't want one. Is fulfilling a need not the same as solving something? I have a need for sex, a woman could solve that problem for me.

Its not fulfilling a need, it's fulfilling a desire. You can survive without sex fine, and romance.

The evidence shows that for some men, the 'desire' for sex amounts to practically a need.

For if masturbation were sufficient to satiate a man's lustful desires, there would be no child abuse by religious authorities, no homosexuality in prisons, no rape, and in fact the human race would be greatly reduced in number.

Just because I love jacking myself off twice a day to really hot porn doesn't mean every man does.

A lot of men are little different from beasts; just as vulgar, just as violent, and just as bestial.

Or do you suppose Tiger Woods could have fended off the advances of all those white women and instead betaken himself to the lavatory for a quick five-knuckle shuffle, and thus preserve his dignity and his marriage to that Swedish woman, the mother of his children?

To think so would be folly.

Control, power, and selfishness. Not need.