The girl with the broken wing..

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I'm drawn to "broken" girls too, up to a certain level of brokenness. Part of it is probably down to having a generally protective nature, and part of it is just a desire to be with someone like myself.

And then, I have to admit, there are probably less healthy motivations too. Like a desire to feel needed and valued, and naive thoughts of being someone's white knight. Neither are good reasons to enter into a relationship, I'm sure.

I'd second that. I'm looking for a similar level of both perceptiveness and integrity.

He probably could have worded it better, but i'm pretty sure that wasn't what he meant.
He means these people who have had no major problems in their life, don't UNDERSTAND and often have low tolerance for people who have because they don't know what it feels like. I know what he means, and its hard not to be angry. Some people are just dealt better cards than us, and the fact they don't understand etc is frustrating.

As for the boring he is right and wrong, there are interesting well adjusted people, but some of these people are not shallow, but shallow thinkers. Thats part of the reason they're happy in the first place.

This thread has made me think of something I read in Billy Connolly's wife Pamela Stevenson said in an interview. One of the things that attracted her to him was:

"...his underlying sadness and the pain of his childhood ... when I first met him I think I connected with that."

I can relate to what has been said about finding someone who has experiences that help them to understand the difficulties I have had in my own life.

I feel like a serial killer for even liking girls with a bad past.

Life is a waste of time
Time is a waste of life
Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life

This sentence is intriguing to me. Can you please expand on this idea? How does one go about "not allowing you to wallow in pain" ?

I have to agree with this. I didn't use to but this is my personal experience. *Unless* the experience of whatever trauma is in their conscious mind and they are going everything in their power to heal from it. Which alot of them aren't. Then there is the 'recovery' variety who just adopt a new 12-step/dogmatic persona once they enter recovery and censor their crazy behavior from anyone who would call them on it. I have heard there are two definitions of 'recovery' to re-cover, i.e. to cover something back up again, with a whole new ball of wax while nothing heals, and to recover something lost. It's really important for me that the 'recovering' people I associate with are #2 defintion of recovery, as soon as I find out someone is a #1 type recovering person I really try to avoid them.

Certainly. Someone who recognizes the struggle and pain, but refuses to remain there indefinitely, and works to find solutions through being supportive - not by being a crutch.


M.

Someone can do this by changing the subject after a while when it seems like you're wallowing, or by inviting you to do some fun or distracting activity.

Thanks. I have trouble knowing what it means to "be supportive" and I need to learn to do better. My husband and I both have broken wings and neither of us is in a position to lift the other up and have trouble finding the "mutually supportive" line.

My wife and I have the same challenge; it isn't a perfect system one installs and runs in the background. It takes work. We argued this morning because due to stress we have both ended up sitting on our own shoulders since our heads are shoved so far up their respective orifices. Takes compromise, trusting both your own suggestions and the behavior of your partner.


M.