techstepgenr8tion wrote:
I see some good advice here all around and I'd just reaffirm - self confidence is a building process that takes a little bit of commitment day by day, being understanding of yourself when backslides do happen, acknowledging that they will be there as a given rather than a sign of failure. Yes, self-confidence my not take you out of BPD (borderline) you'll still have challenges, but the fear of fear or self-sabotage issues should be there less.
I have been working on being more self confidant. Sticking by what I believe in and knowing I am right but also changing my views when it is needed. I need to be confidant in myself ,my views and believe that I know myself enough to know what is right and form my own opinions.
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
This is where I'm a little skiddish on giving advice - part of me wants to say that guys love a self-sufficient woman, that's true with a lot of guys, may or may not be true with your partner, I'd think there would be a lot of benefits to your own mobility and anxiety levels as well if, with enough self-investment, you worked certain things out and even if you outgrew your current man - if he didn't want self sufficiency (which I have no clue, you'd know that better) - in the long term for your own psychological health it would be for the better.
My guy wanted a girl who he could take care of . He is willing to take care of me for the rest of his life. It is comforting to know that he is willing be be my sole support as long as I need it.
But he is trying to help make me better so I can take care of myself. He wants me to be able to heal and become self sufficient. He wants me to be able to succeed in my goals of going to collage, getting a psychology degree and being self sufficient. He knows being able to be independent will solve my fear of abandonment. Because I will know if anything ever does happen I can take care of myself.
He doesn't love "how" I am, he loves "who" I am. I have changed a lot since I first met him and I never out grew him. Because its the "me" underneath all my problems that he loves. But it is my problems that he understands so well and wants to help me fix.
When we met I was in A psychotic episode and he saw though that. I was regressed to about the age of 12 but he saw through that and knew I was a very smart woman under it all. He can somehow see though all my problems and knows who I truly am underneath them all.
He wanted to fix me and help me become who I am meant to be. The "me" without all these problems.
He helped me get off all my medication( been off them for about 4 years) get un-regressed, learn how to cope with stress better, and lots of other stuff.
But if I never get better he will be ok with that too. He is so understanding. He sees me for who I truly am. And accepts and understands my faults.
He truly is a great guy. I had high expectations for my perfect man and he met every one.
In a nut shell he just wants to help me however he can. He wants to take care of me but is not afraid of me getting better or being independent. Because he knows I love him for him and not what he does for me.
01 May 2010, 9:07 pm
