I'm done here.

Post Reply New Topic

Hi Chronus,

I wonder if the name was chosen for the significance of "Father Time," "The Yearly Cycle," or more just as "Time," as with the Titan Cronus, as in "time destroys everything it creates." Then there's the "New Age" Chronus polished to be more of a nice "Mother Nature" or nice "Earth" and other positive things that try to ignore the negative parts, like the "tragedy" in Sedona, Arizona (I was there in the early 1960's; it's beautiful in its own way, but it's still a very hostile environment to survive with in the wilderness).

As per responsibility, all levels of autism are subjected to intense discrimination (even between different members in the group). If someone tells me that they are not going to associate with me because of the effects of my level of autism, that person bears the responsibility, even though I'm subjected to many of the consequences of the discrimination practiced by that person. Telling me that I'm responsible for dealing with the consequences is just a word game at best, more clearly and concisely stated as society telling me to get lost because of my impairments.

Accommodating my impairments (which impairments are a blessing???), the challenges and obligations involve much more than just the individual (even the ADA states that), while the individual can try to utilize limited resources (which brings the "loaded" question of practicality).

Trying "therapy" or "treatments" often results in professional discrimination. While I was trying to verify the validity and objectiveness of results of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) involving an impairment with a 90% claimed success rate (in statistical analysis for verification, such great results are immediately suspect), I encountered a very subjective conceptualization between "clean" and "dirty" impairments, and a strong statistical similarity to another treatment program. "Clean" was attempted to be associated with "acceptance" and "accommodation," while "dirty" was to be washed, or something, by the individual. From different aspects, "clean" was "dirty" and vice-versa, with the two concepts easily rejected because they were not valid and objective by most any reductio ad absurdum argument.

In matters of measurable matters of "merit," when my impairments are hidden, I'm in the top 3%, and when my impairments are made known, I'm then in the bottom 3%. How many types of "responsibility" are involved with such results determining measured "merit"???

Tadzio

I chose the name Chronos because I find time a curious thing.

I believe we are talking about responsibility in two different contexts and I do not want to stray from the original subject.

I agree with everything posted here(I am personally, although sometimes I get distracted, in a nonsexual mode) and wish you well.

For me personally I think confidence will come when I've overcome my depression. Overcoming my depression will probably mean finding the path that leads me where I want to be (career-wise/eventually life-wise). I don't think I'd mind the walking towards that point, it's this wandering around that bugs me. I might well be getter closer, but I might not, nothing is certain.

If anyone is embarrassed watching me being an open book here, don't worry about it. I'm not this up front in real life.

Hi Chronos,

That's one reason I like B.F. Skinner's Behaviourism, as the concept of "responsibility" is somewhat ridiculous, and always can be exploited to the nonsense of the responsibility of twiddle-dee versus the responsibility of twiddle-dum. Esther Vilar explained that paradox with sex and the "sexual-contract," and the run-around women treat men with, the way Pavlov treated his dogs: no treats = no tricks. Then call it "moral responsibility." I don't believe being out-going, well-trained, and obedient with the opposite sex has anything to being a mature adult, in fact, it's quite contrary.

Tadzio

I was going to say the same.

Indeedy. Anyways goodbye if you're going - you seemed rather sane. I'll miss your posts.

Well the therange, I agree, I don't understand why you need to leave though.

I too avoid the love and dating forum like the plague anymore because of these issues.

There are other forums however with members who don't act as immature on this site.

Anyway I can understand, I wanted to leave several times because of the issues I had in this forum especially.

Sheesh, Range. Always throwing your arms up in frustration! Cut it out and stick around.

Glad I'm in the other 10%....


You couldn't have said it any better. According to John Gray (author of the "Mars and Venus" series of books,) women love a man with a plan.

"When a man is confident, he is able to come up with a plan. Women love a man with a plan. A woman doesn't like it when a man is too dependent on her for direction. Although women give men a lot of directions and suggestions, they wish they didn't have to. A woman is happy to do some of the planning, but she wants the man to lead the way confidently. A woman enjoys a date most when a man has a plan and he feels confident about it. He knows what time it is, where he is, where he is going, how long it is going to take, what he will do when they get there, and that he has the money he needs. He is confident that all will go well and as planned. If things don't work out as planned, he has a backup plan. A confident man's backup plan is that he will assess the situation and make the best of it. He will forge his way into unknown territory and have an adventure. He will do his best, and things will turn out fine." (Mars and Venus On A Date, pages 294-295, first edition).

As I have mentioned at least a few times on this forum, MVOAD is my guide to dating and relationship. Pure and simple, a guide. I own this book, and it is one of a few books I would run out of my apartment in case there was a fire. I keep my copy of MVOAD with me, and reread it. I recommend everyone who is AS and NT to buy this book. I have done a lot of "inner work" in my life. Part of that "inner work" involves about dating and relationships. I am far from perfect. However, I know without any doubts that I have much to offer to a woman. I have total confidence she will see me as a man with a plan. I have total confidence that she will see me as who will take the lead by assuring her that everything will be ok, even when that situation looks otherwise.

Yes, I "get it" totally about this. The "light bulb" came on in my head the very first time I read MVOAD.


I noticed that as well. Way too much of it. Women aren't the enemy at all. Why should one assume that women are the enemy, when the person in the mirror is our worst enemy? Reached rock bottom about a year ago, then came up from the bottom. I am in a good place in my life right now, and know the future is a bright one for me (and the woman I'm meant to be involved with as well).


Good for you Very proud of you. Seems like you have come a long ways.

Shame you're leaving; not everyone has been ignoring the advice offered. Although I rarely post to acknowledge it, I've picked up a lot from browsing here, from people like yourself, Sound, HopeGrows, and others. Putting that insight to good use is another matter (I'm something like number 3 on the list, though I am taking very, very small steps), but I still appreciate it and take it on board.

I forgot to add too that I find some of therange's post very informative and well put.

I'm not one to respond so I'm sure there's a lot of us involved, we just do more lurking than posting.. >_<

I too have brought up the fact that you can't depends on someone else for happiness, it usually almost always starts with you. And this is what I'm going through. I see too many posts blaming the other object of affection for one's lack of relationships or the generalizations about one person representing other people as a whole which just gets downright silly.

I think people are just getting sick of the rubbish some men say who paint all men with a bad brush, like David M for example. I doubt range will be coming back, but its like this on every forum.

I don't seem to fit into the 3 categories, heh. Or at least slightly into number 3, but i think i can change stuff regarding that, so it's not that bad.

I think some of the advice is sound, but the packaging needs work. I find even your manner of leaving somehow condescending and aggressive. Give up and go away if you want, but I think you need to stick around and work on some of your other stuff, even if you can get a date, such as being able to let go when people don't automatically follow all your advice and hail you as some kind of super love guru.

why would it bother you? why would it make you leave this site? it sounds like your only mission on this site was to rescue forlorn males who are unhappy due to their hangups about women, and your advice is to not let it "get to them", but their hangups about women are sufficient to make you leave the site?

oh well i am unable to understand.

....

Last edited by Felgen on 08 May 2010, 9:39 am, edited 1 time in total.