It's not me it's her HA!

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Yeah, I think you're beating a dead horse -- time to find a new one. If you're not happy, you shouldn't stay in a relationship just to make her happy.

I'll do it if you want is a warning sign. People should do it because they want to.

Reminds me of the first relationship I had, I broke it off after 4 months. Maybe she is too scared to break it off? I don't know, I think you will find when you find someone really into you it will be a pleasant experience.

She seems to be sending mixed messages imo.

"I'll do it of you want to" sounds like BS at best. Women, as a rule, don't have the ability to lower their standards due to an evolutionary mechanism to seek out men with best genes, and by consequence, cannot bring themselves to get physically intimate with a man they're not attracted to. (Men, on the other hand, have a much easier time dating the first woman who shows interest if their desperation level rises high enough, due to an evolutionary mechanism to spread their genes far and wide.) So, if she doesn't want to hug you, kiss you, etc., it doesn't sound like she's not attracted to you, so I'm having a hard time figuring out how she'll do those things "if you want her to". Even if she was only slightly attracted to you, you'd be able to kiss her on the lips within one month at the maximum. Have you kissed her yet, by the way?

Now, you've been with your "girlfriend" (your words, I wouldn't use that term in your case) for four years by now, and from the way you're describing, getting her to do anything beyond a handshake is like pulling teeth. On one hand, I admire your patience (hey, you waited for four years); on the other hand, I'm at a loss of ways to convince you that you're wasting your time. In my opinion, telling her you want more physical affection is as helpful as putting bandages on someone who fell on a chainsaw. Keep this girl as a good friend, cut off all contact with her, or anything in between, but whatever you choose, stop thinking of her as your girlfriend. If there is no attraction on her part, she can't be your girlfriend by definition. And remember: it's a lot more important for her to like you than for you to like her; biology, you know.

I'm actually speaking from experience, because I was in a situation similar to yours. I thought a girl from my college class was my girlfriend because she went on a platonic date with me. She knew it was platonic; I didn't. So I kept thinking "she just needs to get to know me more" before I get physical affection. The moment of truth came when I took her to a dance (two months after I met her), and she didn't want to do any kind of contact dancing, not even hold hands, let alone tango. At that moment, I knew she didn't like me; it hit me like a ton of bricks. Because hey, two months is plenty of time to "get to know me more". But the big difference is that I wasted only two months. Why "wasted"? Because now, when I go out with a girl who likes me, kissing happens on a second date, and hugging on the first date.