Love is like a sickness

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You're describing the symptoms of her mental illness, @roadGames: she's bi-polar, remember? This is what it's like being in a relationship with someone who is bi-polar, particularly if she's not being properly medicated and treated.

But your comment: "You shouldn't hang out with your boyfriend to cry in front of him," says an awful lot about your expectations and your lack of relationship experience. Your expectations seem to be that of a f**k buddy, rather than those of a bf. A f**k buddy doesn't care about their partner - they care about the sex their partner provides. A bf cares about his partner as a person, and all her qualities: good and bad together. This girl clearly regards you as a bf (someone who will be there for her when she's not just there to offer sex "multiples times a day"), and you regard her as a f**k buddy.

Considering that her needs will tax even a bf who does want to be there for her, you've got to be more realistic about how prepared you are to be her bf. And when you're done thinking about that, you need to consider what it takes to be a bf - even a healthy girl's bf. Relationships are not just about getting laid, or even just about being around when your gf is happy and delightful and putting out. They're about taking the good with the bad - wouldn't you want her to do that for you?

I really encourage you to consider the best way to do right by this girl, OP. You really aren't prepared to deal with her needs, and you really only want her around when she's happy and delightful and putting out - that's a standard she's particularly unprepared to meet. Like it or not, its time to step up.

I'm beginning to think I should have read the OP more clearly. That is a big issue, and it's one anybody searching for a real meaningful relationship needs to consider.

I'm more than happy to talk about her problems with her, but crying almost each time we hang out is too much. I don't just want an fb. However, I don't want a girl that's gonna use me as an emotional tampon. The crying started to wear on me last time I got very drunk and I started to cry myself. I think I understand her problems to some extent and the solution is extremely obvious to me: stop being a baby and don't be so jealous of people. While your sister is definitely a nutcup, it's not right to attempt to get your sister admitted into a mental hospital simply because you don't like her and are jealous that your mother gives her attention.

The way she treats me in public is not how you should treat someone you care about. A girl that actually respected me wouldn't attempt to berate me in front of my friends and then flip to being super affectionate on the drop of a hat.

Bloody hell! I don't prefer it over real love... I kind of had love once... but I wasn't trying to define whether it really was love or not, it just was. I guess things that uncomplicated are OK.

Dump her, she's just a nuisance to you now.

Not only is it like a sickness. People also say that it's blind, as well.

That's true for me sometimes. Ironic, considering how observant I usually am.

Okay....based on the additional info you've provided, at least we know that you have reasonable expectations about how people in relationships should treat each other. But again, dude, you're describing the behavior of someone who is bi-polar (the diagnosis she's admitted to), and may have other illnesses as well (like BPD or narcissism). If she didn't put out and have a "model" physique, would we be having this conversation? She's unstable, she's unhealthy, and she's using sex to keep you hanging around. And you're allowing it.

Nope . We're both using each other in a way, I think. As soon as one of us meets something shinier or more likable, we're probably done with each other. I mean, she has me meeting her parents for dinner all the time, but she's a fool about that and does it with all of her boyfriends. My mom doesn't like her, lol.

This relationship has given me a preview of what love could be like if other factors were present. It also tells me exactly who to avoid getting in a relationship with. Even if she weren't bipolar, I wouldn't be able to vibe with her outside of the massive sexual tension we have.

I won't b***h about her anymore on here.

@roadGames, you can b***h about her all you want - that's why this forum is here.

It seems like you have your eyes wide open, but I think this is gonna be messier and more painful than you think. Maybe you should put some major effort into finding someone "shinier?"

Unfortuantely, I think you're right . I'm starting a physics class this summer in a week. There will be at least one cool girl there.

Damn, so we're back to "you are amazing, i'm so happy to be dating you" and totally ecstatic from "i want to kill my sister and i'm gonna cry in front of you about that girl that flirted with you." If you date a BP girl, you date both the girl and her disorder. It's hard to put her down, but you just know there is a type of physics in these relationships. What goes up must come down.

whoops, wrong thread.

So, last weekend she said she's about to enter a big wave of depression and doesn't want to put me through it. She also said that I'm too good of a guy for her, she's too needy, she's worried I'm going to drop her as soon as I find someone else more mentally stable, and that maybe we should just be friends (LOL, that's not happening to this guy and I know she'll just try to monopolize my time through that route). When she said that, I told her that we're breaking up and then she started bawling saying that she wants to be with me so badly and that she has never experienced feelings this strong (well duh, you're 19). Before this, she was being a total b***h last weekend attempting to make it look like I'm whipped in front of friends (I treat her well/respectfully, but by no means am I whipped or subservient to her), so I kept calling her out in front of our friends and my friends actually came around to my side, lol. She complains that I always come off as the coolest guy in our group and she feels like it degrades her (lol, wouldn't you WANT to be dating the coolest guy in the group?). On top of this, right after I tell her that respect is one of the biggest factors in a relationship for me, she does this berating crap even worse.

What I'm dealing with here is some massive insecurity, I think. She also shapes up big time whenever I bring around female friends and will be completely all over me then. As usual, though, things are great when it's just the two of us. She likes to show me off to her friends, we have a lot of fun (only when it's just us two, though, doing non-crazy adventures), and there's usually plenty of sex. On top of this, her sister was telling me how into me she is last Sunday.

What in the hell is going on now? Should I just dump her for real? I adore this girl, but she's painfully insecure, needy, and downright mean during her manic phase. I've put down a few amazing women for this girl lately. Is it really just her manic phase?