Love is highly over rated

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Brad Paisley said "If Love was a plane, Nobody'd get on". He did make some good points. Yes there's a 6 in 10 chance you'd crash but the odds are sill 4 in 10 that you will make it Knowing those odds I still take the risk because the gain can be very great. Sometimes love grows stronger over time instead of ending

Having recently coming to terms with the end of my relationship, I can officially say I’d rather that physical abuse than a broken heart. If I was offered the chance to have never had experienced that love and avoid the heart break, I’d turn it down however.

I agree with the OP. It could be my solitary nature, but I find the attitude of love-lovers to be utterly revolting. I'm not going to bother with a large argument but I just don't think "love" is nearly as good as people say it is. Not because of breakups or "heartbreak" either.

Everything aside from ready access to nookie is just social expectation masquerading as need.

It doesn't matter anyway.
There's always someone else to use to get 'love' from.

Even if there is a crash, the good times are worth it.
Don't let the inevitable downfall of any situation distract you from the joy of experiencing it.

Having your heart broken is indeed very painful, more so than simply feeling disillusioned and disappointed in love. But as others have said, it can teach you a lot about yourself and help you to love yourself and others more. You can hold back from loving again from fear of being hurt, but I believe love is about giving to the other person rather than about what I will get out of it. If you focus on being the best you can be in a relationship and on being accepting and appreciative of what the other person is giving, you are less likely to be disappointed about what they're not giving.

I get depressed for no reason (Bi-polar) but a terrible/ending relationship can make it even worse. I have felt this many times but... I may have to give up on a person but not on the potential of love.

I watch Divorce Court on TV and it seems to be indicative of how marriage works. Some girl will have sex with a guy and get him hooked. Then he will marry her to keep getting it. Then the next thing she does is throw all his furniture and clothes in the trash and then replace it with her own. Then when they break up, he is left with no furniture or clothes. So now he has to sleep naked on a bare floor. I'd say he would have been far better off if he had never met her.

Ding! You win a cupie doll!

They wouldn't have a show called 'Reconciliation Court' or 'Loving Couple Has A Great Time Together' because it wouldn't fit the current modus operandi of television, which is to fill minds with discord, violence, sorrow, horror and other such negativity. That doesn't mean that there are no good, lasting, functional, harmonious and loving relationships out there. We can all pull evidence from the world to back up our own biases, and choose to ignore what doesn't fit our agenda.

Having an awareness of the pitfalls is good. Letting them prevent you from living a full life is bad.

Failed relationships teach us something about ourselves: why we chose that person, what we should avoid, what we want from an ideal mate.

Most of the time we learn things the hard way, and relationships are one of those things that you just can't learn from reading a book or observing friends. Learning from romance movies or the media is the worse way due to the unrealistic expectations and unnatural situations.

Ideally, relationships are like the Buddhist enlightenment ladder. Each subsequent relationship experienced is another ladder rung climbed towards enlightenment. This should be true if you choose your relationships wisely and do not say "yes" to each opportunity.

Well said.

There are some good posts in this thread.

To the OP, I used to feel the same way about love. At the time, I was very lonely but still didn't feel confident that I could get into a relationship, or if I was even ready.

Once I did, quite by accident, fall in love, I decided that it's only overrated to those who haven't experienced it, and who observe the strange, sometimes destructive behavior of those who have committed themselves to someone else. Love does not follow the rational thought that we Aspies are accustomed to, which is why a person who convinces thyself that it's not worth the effort can still fall for someone. Sharing a connection that strong is the greatest feeling. It's well worth the experience.

The phrase you're after is 'casual sex.' Sex can reinforce -- but not replace -- true love.

That's been my experience exactly. Well put.

I wouldn't say that love is over-rated because of the pain. This is really warped but because I'm not in love with anyone at the moment and I don't really feel anything I put on a song that reminds me of someone I used to be in love with, the singer even sings like him, and I enjoyed the painful feeling of melancholy. If I feel the pain, it's because there really was something there and it's sad that I lost it. It's like reminding myself that I'm human. This guy likes the band Anthony and The Johnsons and they sing a song witht the lyrics, "I am so very, very happy, go on and hurt me." It's a beautiful song. The love and the pain are intermingled. I don't feel that way about anyone else. Yes, I know that this is not a healthy relationship, but I don't actually think I can achieve anything like a healthy relationship and this will have to do.

But I think that love is over-rated because I actually don't want to put the effort into starting a relationship. That old saying, "just be yourself" really makes no sense to me. If I am myself I will carry on as normal and not include this new person in what I'm doing. I don't like trying to integrate this new person into my life. It never seems to work. It's like I have to be something other than myself and I can't actually do it.

Like my friend (who I had a crush on) invited me to a dance and I was so uncomfortable all evening. I didn't know how to behave. I actually feel angry with him now for putting me in that situation.

That thing with the guy I did adore all those years ago just happened and although it didn't work out, it didn't turn into a romantic relationship, we are still just friends, it was enjoyable to be around him. I find the stress of being around someone new not worth the effort. I never seem to get over the brow of the hill anymore and into a relationship and I don't think I can be bothered with it, trying to force myself into a state of being that doesn't feel natural to me. I think I am actually better suited to being on my own.

I was a bit saddened by this realisation at first, but at the moment I feel like I'm finally on a plaeau and I don't need to stress out about where I'm going. Plus I can leave my socks on the floor and no one can complain:) there's no point thinking I'm missing out anymore.