Socially inept, desperate guy, from a woman's perspective

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Thats what I would call taking a rejection sensibly. When some people get rejected they lash out and try to hurt the person who rejected them.

Okay, so, what do you honestly hope to accomplish with this thread? Do you think the "clueless stalker" guys on here are going to read your thread and suddenly say "Oh my God! I get it now!"

The short answer is no. Seems like you're just posting this to troll some easy fish.

I've seen some equally funny and stupid relationships that amounted to the woman being a manipulative whore.

Like it or not, "the pursuit of tail" is pretty much the purpose of (our species) life. There's a reason people feel like their life is unfulfilled if they've never had sex or had a girlfriend/boyfriend. You can talk about emotions and desires all you want, but really all that it boils down to is our biological obligation to breed and genetically advance our species.

It is the way humans work that the female chooses their mate, thereby technically guiding the evolution of our species. This is (one reason) why women are usually the ones who take advantage of their situation, and the reason it tends to be guys going crazy over their situation. So can you blame them? Well no, and yes. But saying what amounts to "all guys suck" is one of the most hypocritical BS acts I've ever heard.

Last edited by DerKodeMeister on 24 Jun 2010, 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You're right. The sort of guys this thread is describing are not even capable of seeing themselves as the problem, they are just messed up completely and would not have any benefits from reading this thread whatsoever. Its like talking to a brick wall.

Not completely sure. This behaviour is far too common. It wasn’t the other day that the beauty of the office had problem with an ex-boyfriend. Regular jerk as well as a creap. But he must have had something to attract her.

I suspect that many creeps may indeed be a socially inapt jerks. And being jerk seems to attract many women. We are also making the logical assumption if he changes his attitude to that of an average person he would be more successful with woman.

The majority of human being believe the human species ,unlike animal, behave in a way that is counter productive to her survival. If this was the case all creepy jerk guys, they all would have died of with the dinosaurs as they would not find a mate and have creep jerk offspring.

I usually only make a move to begin with if the woman is somebody that I'm absolutely head over heels in love with, and I can't get angry with someone I'm in love with, nor can I even think about trying to hurt her. But don't get your hopes up about me taking rejection "sensibly"... being rejected is the absolute worst feeling in the world. The only feeling that comes close or in any way approximates the feeling of rejection is losing a relative, but even that isn't as bad as rejection, because while a friend or relative's death is most likely not my fault, a rejection is completely my fault. I failed to make the cut, I shouldn't be allowed to date anyone, etc.

It's not always as straightforward as that. I recently invited a girl to a dance, just as a friend. I have no feelings for her. Because I don't know the girl very well I asked an older friend of hers what was the best way to go about it. In the end she turned me down, due to having a boyfriend who wouldn't like her doing that even though it was just as friends. There was nothing wrong in my invitation - it was straight-edge all the way. She didn't turn me down because I'm not hunky enough, or kind enough, or I came across as creepy, or some reason like that. It wasn't because I "failed to make the cut", but simply because her current circumstances prevent it.

In any case, if I'm not romantically attracted to someone there's nothing I can do to change that, no matter how often the other person showers me with affection or asks me out, or how much I wish it weren't the case. Mostly I won't know WHY I don't feel attracted to them either - it's just the way it is. So you see, it's not always "your fault".

OP, perhaps you should wait until after this has gone to court to tell your story. I'm not a lawyer, but even though you haven't given names or adresses, this may still be seen as swaying a jury or something like that (or have I been watching too many TV shows ).

Other than that, what a creep! Hope your girlfriend has changed the locks since he left

Vile man.

I don't exactly see why this is shocking, or even that repulsive. Now, I'm going to assume that there wasn't a typo in there, and that he really did say "...weren't so high", not "...weren't so low". The latter, while I might think something like it, and also might wonder if some girl could think the same about me, I would never say to someone's face, and would hope a girl would avoid saying to me. It wouldn't totally rule a girl out as a sex partner if I knew she were accepting me only because of low standards, but I'd hope she'd phrase it in a nicer way.

Now on the other hand, the phrase as you quoted it (with "high"), would actually be something whose equivalent I'd in most cases like hearing from a woman. Something like, "That boring idiot over there, that's the kind of guy I'd be dating if my standards weren't so high". That would make me feel like she's admitting she has high standards, and yet I still meet them, which I would take as a compliment. I might well think her prejudicial if she judged another guy as being boring if she barely knew him, and that would be a negative thing, but overall I'd take the comment positively.

I'm thinking part of the reason quite a few women would be repelled by such a comment is because of the word "thing". I know it's very common for women to fly off the handle at even the implication of them being referred to as a "thing", which I'm guessing comes from them being used to feeling a certain lack of respect for who they are.



I don't feel I know such things either. I would, at least in my case, practically define Asperger's as the condition of having a brain that is not attuned to interpersonal reciprocity. So, it's difficult for me to not see a woman in terms of what "slot" in my life she is going to fill. Even once I know what makes a relationship work, which might take a long time to learn (and some cooperation from women who don't run at the first sign that I don't know!), I might well find that a lot of the time it isn't worth it, particularly when I might just want someone to make out with or fool around with in bed. So it seems I really do want someone to fill a void, the void of female body and/or window to the world outside my special interests. Whereas I want to fill the void of male body and/or quirky guy who knows lots of stuff she's never thought about before.

I wouldn't say I tend to look at a woman as a "trophy", but more like a view out of a window, or a good book--something (or someone, if you can't bear the word "thing" in there) to learn about, appreciate the beauty of both inside and out, but who doesn't always need to be dealt with socially.

What surprises (and sometimes disappoints) me most is how few autistic women there seem to be who don't "know these things", which I see as a big factor in why I run into so few women even on the spectrum who seem to want the same kind of relationships or encounters I do. So many of them seem way too advanced in this area. Though this is more supporting evidence for my theory that much of why women don't tend toward relationships that involve physical intimacy but not much social interaction is because they are forced while growing up to learn to see their interactions with men in social, reciprocal terms, unlike many men.

Now, I should qualify that I don't know if he asked her for a sexual encounter or for a relationship (and what he really wanted, which may be different from what he said. Now, if he did in fact mean and ask for a relationship, i.e., he wanted to marry her or something, then I would certainly judge him more harshly for his comments than if he just wanted something physical with her, because the former makes him look more clueless. And also, in my case I at least am aware that social reciprocity is something my brain is not good at, and doesn't like to do.

Urg -- Sad to say, I've been that guy before (though not to the extreme of stalking and other behaviors you describe here). It happened at various times, usually during the low, lonely, chaotic or moody points in my life where my hormones were out of whack and my place in life was uncertain.

Usually it's a result of low self-confidence and low opportunity, which triggers the defensive, "pump myself up by putting down other people" behavior you describe above. As you demonstrated, it does not work -- instead of making myself look important, I just came off as an arrogant ass, and later on, as someone who was emotionally unstable and not worth knowing.

Definitely a period of time I wish I could erase....

Thanks for your insight! Yes I'm thinking along the same lines regarding the judicial process. I think the story is sufficiently vague though. Guy never had a key to her place (they dated for a week!) and she's putting in an alarm system.

She's not my girlfriend though. That comes much later. That's a mistake made by lonely men like this guy. As soon as they meet a woman they cling on and want to make her "theirs". Oh the folly...



Okay I'm going to ignore your last sentence, because I don't even know what you are trying to say. As for the rest, there are LOTS of young guys on this board going down a path which will eventually turn them into desperate bitter lonely middle-age guys like the one in this story. I posted this hoping that at least a few of them will learn from this and stop and pause, and reevaluate their... approach. There's hope still for lonely 20 year olds.

I ran into a few guys like this in my early 20s. They were such idiots.

I never figured out why they stalked me, but they sure did. Generally, they were rather cowardly guys and as I have no problem standing up for myself, they'd get the point and back the f**k off.

My ex-girlfriend's other ex-boyfriend is being like this, though for some reason she's become his friend again