Why do novels and movies portray sex and love like this?

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Yeah, my next romantic encounter better have perfect lighting and specially composed mood music, dammit.

I always thought "The Great Gatsby" was a good portrait of how love actually works in modern culture.

Because it sells movie tickets and DVDs?

I recently watched a movie about love and relationships called Adam. It showed a relationship between a neurotypial girl and a man with aspergers. It portrays love realistically unlike your description above. I understand your point though. What really sucks is that people believe that and assume their relationship will be like that, when everyone's relationship is different. Its not fair for anyone to live up to that fantasy.

If you think about it, most romantic comedies follow this type of plot line:
Step 1: A man and a woman spend time around each other, but somehow, their relationship remains strictly or mainly platonic, when one day...
Step 2: Some shocking or unusual event happens, causing their feelings for each other to come bursting out like soda from a shaken bottle, and...
Step 3: They're reveling in their new-found romance until...
Step 4: The new couple has a fight of some sort, causing their nascent relationship to almost completely shatter apart (key word: almost), then...
Step 5: Somehow, they're brought back together by one or both partners apologizing profusely and/or making amends, and...
Step 6: Their relationship is back and better than ever; the end.

Almost every romantic comedy I saw follows this plot. Even Zack and Miri Make a Porno is like that, despite being hyped up as a sex comedy. No wonder it bombed at the box office; the producers lied to the audience and made it a love story. Pretty much the only romantic comedies I liked is You've Got Mail and Up in the Air. They follow a more realistic plot line, which makes them heck of a lot more enjoyable.

Because Hollywood wants to obviously make it appear more golden and make men and women think that's what sex will be like for them.

-LegoMaster2149 (Written on September 12, 2017)

I don't think what you are looking for translates well to the screen. How do you get an audience involved in a quiet, knowing stare, or sharing the feeling of complete comfort, that everything is right with the world?

Part of growing up is realizing that love doesn't look like it does in the movies, and it should not look like it does in the movies. But the movies can still be fun, capturing that charge of energy and lust one can feel early on in a relationship, before the deeper love settles in. That charge is dang fun, of course; but one couldn't live on it. And, well, in real life it tends to come coupled with potential negative side effects, which we get to skip when watching on a screen.

Pretty much everything in novels and movies is out of proportion, no? People want to believe life is exciting and grand, or at least pretend it is for a while.

I do love "slice of life" shows sometimes that are more real because I enjoy seeing something nice that's not all made up.