Advice for the guys under 30

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...well? you've actualy managed to achieve an akward silence even though this is writing with no sound involved (unless you count the symphony of the computer keyboard )

anything to say then?

When I'm not looking I'm sitting at home all day. There's still the option of burglars and disoriented people showing up there but I've never in my life met one of them here and I probably won't want to date the first one I do meet, or even just go grab a bite to eat with them.

My aim right now is set on people that won't make me constantly miserable. I know this is a bit lofty but I'm not friends with such unredeemable people so why should I pair off with someone like that? No, what I want is more friends and THEN when I have that taken care of I can just wait for something to happen, but right now? All I do is wait and I'm sick of it and I'm trying to even just figure out how to change something but I have all these people telling me I've got my head in the clouds and should calm down. In the mean time just dating people I don't yet know wouldn't ever work for me would be nice.

Plus the longer shelf life thing doesn't make much sense because once I'm in my thirties I'm either left with people the same age who don't have that longer shelf life or the incessant little monsters around the age I am now. I typically prefer my friends to have maturity levels roughly inthe same ballpark as mine so unless I seriously overestimate myself I've got no options other than to be totally inept at dealing with another person once the population calms down and starts to panic about how much time they've wasted and start looking for well adjusted people unlike me, Mr no experience.

So instead here is some advice I offer to you: all dating advice is absolutely horrible and extremely unlikely to be of any use to the target audience. It is either never relevent to their situation or if it is they can't see that from where they stand so the only positive outcome from giving it is when someone it doesn't apply to mistakenly thinks it does apply to them and benefits from it through improved confidence. The advice being wrong means the boost of confidence will most asuredly be short lived but I really can't find any other positive spin to put on this type of interaction.

You probably won't appreciate this advice very much yourself but if you do the obvious course of action is to just tell people the real key is something they have to figure out for themselves and cheer them on. Maybe you can help people get through certain hangups on an individual basis but they absolutely have to be out there trying because it is not possible for you to just distill some words of wisdom and they go handing out answer keys for the test of life.

So much negative feedback here -- I for one say that the OP is right on target, and have been saying as much for about 2 years now. I especially liked the experiment and the cited results.

There is a distinct shift in priorities for women sometime in their mid-to-late 20s.

Yes, this varies by area (city/state ,etc.) and local culture, but overall, it's true. Women wake up (just as men do) that they can't have their cake and eat it too -- We can't all marry perfect 10s, and even those perfect 10s are not so perfect when it comes to personality, earning power, honestly, loyalty, etc.

Yes, there are deluded individuals who will continue to chase the impossible, or who will continue to invert their priorities (looks over substance)... but the majority compromise, get real, and find someone who matches up with them.

I continue to advise that if you are in your 30s or 40s and are not seeing this, you are doing things wrong in your life, and not just on the dating front. Here's a checklist for you:

-- Got a job? A good one?

-- Have interests other than the really mundane or weird? Or if very niche, are they such that women might also enjoy them? If so, do you actively seek out others with those interests?

--Dress normally or acceptably? This doesn't mean just figuring it out for yourself -- get professional advice, from the clerk, your sister, your best woman friend, etc. Someone who will be helpful and brutal.

--Have a mainstream hairstyle, brush your hair, brush your teeth, bathe on a daily basis, and take care to hide your scent and unsightly body hairs?

--Go out and do things with people during normal daytime and evening hours?

If you answer no to any of the above, you don't want a woman badly enough. Finding someone takes real work and self-improvement/investment. No one is guaranteed anything, but it's really not that hard to find SOMEONE RIGHT FOR YOU.

The OP experiment was very interesting and does prove how shallow women are on those sites. Still, those sites are better than nothing for a lot of guys. Still, post the best photo you have of yourself. Girls decide whether they want to pursue you based on looking at your photo for 3 seconds.

One other simple experiment is to change your profile from M seeking W to W seeking M. The last time I did that, the guys on those sites outnumbered the girls by 10 to 1. But I suspect that ratio is lower now.

But as for the comment about not worrying about dating in their 20's, I would disagree there. The reason is that people get uglier as they age and that makes it even harder to get someone to be attracted to you. Not only that, but all the good girls get snapped up in their 20's or even earlier. Its also the prime age for having children.

So I agree that dating sites aren't for everyone, but I do think that guys should not only worry in their 20's, but also try to do something about it. Going to public events or church single's groups are very helpful in meeting women.

I wrote a post, then deleted it, as I realised in time that I want to spend my time in threads I enjoy, not embroiled in arguments that make me miserable .

That's good advice for everyone.

Thanks. I thought so too.... : )

Exactly. Like I've said before, not having a criminal record doesn't mean you deserve a girlfriend.

The funny thing is, if a lot of the guys on here even happened to luck out and some girl gave them a chance, she'd break up with him as soon as she saw how needy and boring he was.

I think some need to really leave their comfort zone, and once doing that, at least try to be social. As a woman, when I see a guy standing around looking bitter and apprehensive, it makes me shy away from them.
I'm not saying put on a fake personality, but try to be open to the possibility that a woman might approach you, and standing around exuding the "I'm worthless, no one wants me" or the angry "entitlement" attitude is not going to draw them in.

The divorce rate among aspie<>NT marriages is quite high according to what I've read, but far lower among aspie<>aspie marriages.

I'm already too helplessly far behind to ever catch up to my contemporaries. I don't want to even think about how far behind I'll be when I'm 30...

At 22, you still have a really good chance. But you need to get to every social event possible - even if its painful. Okcupid.com is good, but you shouldn't rely on it exclusively.

I did a lot of catching up in my mid/late twenties, and I've read a few posters that seem to have had similar experiences. Just keep looking for ways to grow.

good for you then

That just pretty much made my day.

I am feeling this way just this yea ( i am 28 ) , but not when I was 22...

It's not really just a feeling ,it's a fact.

But you still have time tho...

Wait till 28 or 30 before feeling this way...