Aspie boyfriend keeps talking about past girlfriends
shine_on wrote:
Hi there,
I am an NT who has been dating a suspected Aspie for 2 months. He loves to talk about places he's been and things he's done with past girlfriends, so much so that I was starting to wonder whether he viewed me as his girlfriend at all. When I asked for clarification he apologised for being insensitive and was genuinely embarassed. He also seems to be trying to get to know me in reference to his most recent girlfriend, contrasting our personalities and ways of doing things. He is very open, objective and honest about the way he talks about them, but I wish he could concentrate more on the here and now. He doesn't seem to have had any problem getting girlfriends since his marriage broke down 7 years ago (he has had 4 girlfriends during that time) and is very comfortable striking up a conversation with women he doesn't know.
So, I would be very appreciative if Aspies could give me their opinion on these things. Should I simply overlook these ongoing references to past girlfriends as being factual and innocent recollections? And should I be concerned about his feelings for me, given his preoccupation with them and the fact that he seems easily attracted to other women? We have been enjoying a great intellectual and physical relationship, but I am wary of getting hurt.
I am an NT who has been dating a suspected Aspie for 2 months. He loves to talk about places he's been and things he's done with past girlfriends, so much so that I was starting to wonder whether he viewed me as his girlfriend at all. When I asked for clarification he apologised for being insensitive and was genuinely embarassed. He also seems to be trying to get to know me in reference to his most recent girlfriend, contrasting our personalities and ways of doing things. He is very open, objective and honest about the way he talks about them, but I wish he could concentrate more on the here and now. He doesn't seem to have had any problem getting girlfriends since his marriage broke down 7 years ago (he has had 4 girlfriends during that time) and is very comfortable striking up a conversation with women he doesn't know.
So, I would be very appreciative if Aspies could give me their opinion on these things. Should I simply overlook these ongoing references to past girlfriends as being factual and innocent recollections? And should I be concerned about his feelings for me, given his preoccupation with them and the fact that he seems easily attracted to other women? We have been enjoying a great intellectual and physical relationship, but I am wary of getting hurt.
Just start talking about your past boyfriends all of the time. Be a mirror.
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