How do you date when you are unemployed (girl)?

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Sarcasm Alert:

When people ask what you do just tell them your a writer writing a novel. Then ask them if they want to read it. If they call your bluff, just copy/paiste some longish inane fan fiction and give it to them. Writers, actors or, any other type of artist generally aren't expected to be successful.

Wow I really relate to this topic. Most threads say it is more acceptable for a woman not to drive or be independent but in reality I think you are just as judged, I know I have. I don't drive either and as for jobs, I keep losing them...

It's taken me a long time to find out that not all guys are as judgmental about this stuff. I met a few guys online who have been understanding about my diagnosis and situation. I think you need to work on your self-esteem like a couple of good posters suggested. I know how hard it can be especially if you're living on very little. Support groups have always helped me but there is so few resources for people with aspergers. I'm not sure what the "right" thing would be to do. As for your pic, I think you're very pretty. Don't listen to some of the bitter eejits on this forum, not sure if this is the best place for dating advice anymore but take what you can and leave the rest behind so I was told.

You're self esteem is the major issue you need to work on. I think you're feeling stressed because of the issues you're under. Not everyone is going to understand your disability but not everyone isn't going to judge you. Also don't let your disability dictate or limit what you can do. The trouble with living on SSI is they expect you not to work and to an extent, I'm not totally against it but I do think it tends to limit your scope of what you can actually accomplish. However I would never recommend you getting off of that. Having some means of support is better than nothing. I know what it's like to be homeless and be judged by people who don't understand your struggles.

So I guess the only advice I can give is to work on yourself first. It's not always great to get into a relationship when you have a poor image of yourself. I think this is why I've had a history of attracting the wrong type of people. Most abusers look for that especially in women, then add that and aspergers and we come off really naive. Find a class you enjoy, get with the type of people who also want to better themselves. But I think you need to really work on you first. I don't know you well enough but I do get a sense that you're hurting on the inside. That's a difficult thing and I think the only positive way to resolve an issue of being accepted is to accept yourself first. Rejections happen to everyone, it's something you got to get use to and not take personally. For those of us who lack relationships in the love department, I think it makes us extra sensative. I think a lot of us on the spectrum are sensative people because we don't know what to expect from others and we know all to well what it's like to not fit in.

Anyhow that's all the insight I can give for now. I'm not great either when it comes to this stuff. I think you deserve the type of guy who will love you for you but you need to love yourself first and foremost, otherwise what is there to love?

I probably should have worded my post better, I don't think those things about myself. I was mainly blowing off steam, and being frustrated at the whole process.
That was a description of what other people tend to think are huge faults.
Online dating for most people is difficult, if you have any sort of "issue" or "baggage" as people like to call it. I love it when people actually post that in their ad. No issues or baggage! As if they are perfect, and are only willing to date other absolutely perfect people with a perfect past, LOL. which means if they actually believe they are so perfect, they probably do have some kind of personality disorder.

I know I'm not a terrible person, I'm more interesting than most people, haha, sometimes I even have too much self esteem.

I did well in University, and would have had a couple degrees now if I had the money to pay for it or a scholarship (there were very few I qualified for even though I had high marks), and a decent career as well. But I have had bad luck in life. Except I probably wouldn't want to drive anyway, if I had more money I'd just take the taxi more.

I was mainly bitchin' about it because I KNOW that I'm not just a "huge loser", I have lots of great qualities, but on the surface, that's what many people conclude when they find those things out about me. And they aren't all stuck up and pretentious or something- I mean people who are otherwise kind. They just get "scared off". Thats why it bothers me so much. There is just a major "social stigma" around those things.

I know not everyone is like that, but it's just annoying to be rejected for those reasons alone, over and over again. You can try to maneuver around the fact that you are unemployed for a while, but eventually they find out, and basically slam the door in your face!

Actually, I do write, and do creative/portrait photography, and have called myself "freelance" before. That definitely sounds more interesting than disability. I have tried volunteering, but also have been "fired" from volunteering because the seniors were uncomfortable with my lack of proper social skills.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me. That depends on a lot of things.
But when I said I seem like a "huge loser"- was not my personal judgement, I was referring to how people tend to sum each other up as "successful" or "loser", and based on that brief superficial description of me, I get stuck in the loser category, and people don't give me a chance.

It's hard to be optimistic in the light of all those things.
I probably shouldn't post on here when I'm tired and cranky and slightly more misanthropic than usual.

This may sound sexist but it's a reality (Sadly). A female doesn't really need to be employed or to be able to drive in order to get a date. Those factors would only harm (big time) the male's chances but not the female per sec.

In fact, a female like this would be rarely labeled as 'loser' , at least where I live, but a male like this ....hell yes , he'll be called loser by everyone.


I've seen females who are idiots, barely educated , unemployed and don't drive yet can get tons of bfs.

Your problem is not about those things you mentioned in OP but it's something else....