Unwanted attention from opposite sex

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Do not let your Aspergers make you think someone is out to get you like I did. You got to make yourself to trust what has happening. now at 40 I no longer get the chances I did in my 20's. Do not be some pissed off 40 something full of regreats like me. Take a chance next time you get approached if it does not pann out so what. Acording to my normal friends they strike out 8 of 10 times they ask a girl out and these guys are not getting women asking them out like you.

This is part of the predicament I'm in, I don't trust people.

Maybe you can try anti-anxiety medicine? Do not end up like me kid I am not having a great life for the past 20 years. I am full of self-hate and regrets.

I seem to attract men I don't want either. When I was younger guys asked me out as a joke, egged on by their friends But I guess I've learned how to make my quirkiness charming and also how to wear makeup and look reasonably cute.

But I don't have any desire for these weirdos that hit on me! Why do I only attract people who are a) old and creepy 2) young and creepy or 3) mentally ill???

To takemitsu - So, is it more that you don't trust the girls and have anxiety because of your distrust and don't want to chance dating? Or is it that you find the attention uncomfortable and just aren't interested in these women and want to keep it only a work related environment?

Todesking - I see the point you are making and it's a valid one. One doesn't want to have regrets from not taking chances. On the other hand, we want to be smart about our choices and just because there are more opportunities for one person, than an another, does not mean those opportunities are necessarily good ones.


I have had the problem the OP has described and I can tell you, from first hand experience since I was a teenager, that unwanted attention from the opposite sex can create a hell of a lot of problems. It can lead to hurt feelings, misunderstanding, anger, jealousy, resentment, retaliation, sabotage, all kinds of nasty s**t.

I'm in my 40's and it still happens to me. I do not flirt. I often have no idea when someone is hitting on me unless they are really obvious. I get extremely uncomfortable if someone flirts or a guy give me a lot of attention.

I even had men hitting on me when I was married. I would have to tell them more then once to get lost before they would give up

Attention is awesome when it's wanted. When it's not welcome, it's a major pain.

To be undesired topic

Must be tough, unless you want a mate for having kids. Other than that, I had no desire whatsover. And as Willard says, after you reach a certain age you become invisible. I have reached that stage, but I have all the kids I need.

But seriously, if you are being harassed at work, you could speak to human resources. It is hard to work if someone is constantly paying unwanted attention.

I wish I could relate. The only time I've gotten unwanted sexual attention was from gay guys. Ack!

I probably wouldn't trust a woman to be sincere if she was overtly hitting on me. I'd be afraid she doesn't actually find *me* attractive but rather she wants me to give her attention. I don't think most women will chase guys that way unless they're trying to be manipulative.

girls are too predictable, they dont want a nice guy. this is gonna sound awful but the worse you treat them the more they like you, wich is why i dont have a girlfriend ok. im too nice!

i was at a resturant and this girl was wearing her freakin' undies outside. she was looking at me while i was waiting for my order like "i know what yer looking at stud, you want this muffin?" suddenly i relised i was turning red and my order was up. i almost dropped my food and ran into the door, it was quit emberrasing and thats when i relised she knew what she was doing and probably wanted me to ravage her right there next to the money box. i cant act like that though because i am too well behaved!

I don't think that's true. It's just that the ones who act so overt are likely to be slu*ty attention whores. The ones that are truly attracted to nice guys are gonna be shy and wait for you to come to them.

Lucky bastard.

You'll get no sympathy from me.

I seem to attract a good number of crazy homless people. It was so bad when my friends and I went to Toronto they were walking infront of me acting like an early warning system for me ocassionally yelling out look out here comes another one. I actually got chased into the street while we were on Youngs street by a drunk homeless guy with what looked like liver failure and was all scabby who wanted shake my hand. If you know my problems with being touched you would know what a nightmare that was for me.

What is "Lasik"?

You know, if this were a girl who was getting unwanted attention from guys, I bet you people would be a lot more sympathetic. Being harassed all the time is no fun, whatever gender it comes from.

hale_bopp: Lasik is corrective eye surgery that can reduce or eliminate the need to wear eyeglasses.

Maybe then Glasses guys here should try investing in it?

I don't get it personally, I love glasses on the right guy.

I find it hard to provide sympathy because it requires a special "something" to attract people.

Most of us don't have it. Of course all females will get attention because us males are horn-dogs.

My friends have told me I give a non-approachable vibe so females do not want to approach me.

But to the OP, females are a lot more unforgiving than men when it comes to attraction. What the other poster said about farting would work, but if you don't want to have a gross reputation, you can try my tactic.

My lab partner was 18 years old and was attracted to me. I stopped the attention I got from her when I called her favorite past-times as boring. It wasn't far from the truth as she would tell me about how fun it was to lineup at 7-11 to get a free slurpee.

I have something similar. I am sometimes described as (very) handsome, but I cannot believe that, because I would have way more success to women than I actually had. I actually no longer believe that women find me attractive, because thinking so would cause obsessions.

I am 43, but the girls and women can be very varying in age.


On the street. Sometimes at a club. At school where I work (close to harassment).


- Do you have a girl-friend?;
- Are you married?;
- Do you find yourself sexy?;
- I want to swim with you;
- I am trying to kiss you (actually she was kissing the window. I asked her afterwards, what she tried to do);
- Do you go out? Where?;
- Are you coming to the school party (colleagues go to the school party and will have the role as guards, preventing non-pupils to get in; but I prefer to stay away from school parties, because of those questions);
- Hi! (greeting me, but no other colleagues).

I actually don't want a clear solution; I just want to know why girls and young women do that.