never finding anyone...responses from other girls preferred

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I have a female AS friend who does not consider herself good looking who was miserable for years about not being in a relationship, but she got into one at the age of 24 and now she couldn't be happier.

For those of you in your late teens and early 20s, it takes longer to develop relationship skills and to find someone than it does for NTs, so not being in a relationship yet does not make you defective or unlovable. I know it sucks but the day will come. In the mean time, talk to people about what it takes to build a healthy relationship so you can sustain one once you are in one.

I'm sorta finding a fatalistic bent to my outlook, being as I'm 37 and I don't even think I'd know what to do with a BF even if I had anyone show interest. That being 'some people were destined never to find that special someone'. I know a few people who also pretty much remained single in their life and looking back I think at least 2 of them may have had some degree of AS. But I can't be sure.

One of the people is my friend, and the way she speaks may sound slightly condescending to people. I know she is not, since I've known her all my life, but I think this has been part of why she can't get out of being single.

Oh and another friend who is chronically single (but has had BFs, and holy mother of crap there's a LOT of BAD PEOPLE in this town) was saying how much her last BF's mother just hated her because she thought my friend wasn't good enough for her little johnny. Then again my friend is rather dark-skinned (she's italian), so that might have something to do with it. Gawd, my friend runs into some HORRIBLE people...people who steal, people who cheat...she says the cheapest apartments in town is the freaking Gong Show/Soap Opera Live.

I get where you're coming from, since I'm a 19 year old Aspie male who's never been a relationship. It's annoying at times because I recognize the irrationality of my feelings, since I'm not even in my 30s yet, but that doesn't make it any better. Hang in there, it's better to have hope than to lay down and die, metaphorically.

thannks for all the comforting posts it does help to know i'm not completely on my own with this. i know most of the having a hard time threads here are from males, probably because most girls can look good taking care of themselves and therefore have no problems in finding ppl. i personally have changed everything about my appearance that is under my control- my facial features right now, unfortunately, aren't. that's actually what kind of bothers me most about it. because i truly have no control over these things, you can't choose how you look when you're born. and i would have much of an easier time stopping thinking about it if i could do something:S not to mention it's becoming an obsession and it really sucks having an unattainable obsession/ special interest i'd like to just give it up but it's hard with something that most ppl consider to be such an obvious part of life.

Agreed. I never kissed a guy until I was 21, had never had a bf before that, and have never gone beyond kissing. That was a few years ago! I go to college, and I sometimes think "I must be ugly; no one will ask me out or even look at me!"

bluerose: You probably aren't ugly. I find myself very attractive, but I get no bites whatsoever. But really, that can be a good thing. It helped me stay away from drugs, alcohol, and premature sex (having no friends/bf's, that is).

It does get lonely, but you are most certainly not alone!

What about those of us who are in their late 20s (I'm 27, turning 28 next month) who have no relationship skills, and have never had a girlfriend? For years, I was depressed about it, thinking I must be ugly, etc, but it turns out I have AS (only got diagnosed a few years ago at 24). So this explains my issues when it comes to late social development. I'm actually not ugly, nor unlikeable as a person (so others have told me), yet I've never gone beyond hugging a girl. I've never been kissed, etc. It starts to become more of an issue at my age, because by the time you're in late 20s, most girls your age are talking about settling down, getting married, etc.

I agree with you about the talking to people who are in a good relationship, so you know how to sustain one when you're finally in one. I get depressed about relationships sometimes, because I always see other people's ones end, so I think 'what's the point?'
Like the original poster, I'm not merely looking for sex, but something lasting.

That depends. If you think you are fine and everyone else has the problem and you deserve a relationship then you might as well give up now. If you know you have shortcomings and are working on identifying and addressing them, then you'll probably have a chance someday.

Girl, you are only 18! I don't know why you are worrying about this sort of thing now. I have some sympathy but I'm 30 and in the same boat. I never kissed anyone until I was 21 and that was just a drunken kiss with a stranger. Now things have really not gotten any better.

I don't know why I am like this. When I go out people like talking to me and find me cute and fun and whatever, but I don't feel any connection with them. The only person I've ever felt that connection with is an impossibility (married and straight).

I've pretty much come to the point where I'm planning my future around my cat and my interests. That's about it.